Crackers Page #2

your senses You see that?

He don't want to mess with your old man.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

How are you today?

I saw your sign out front.

I thought this might be a good

place to... Hock an adding machine?

Nah, I got three of them in last week.

Top of the line.

Kurnitz? Kurnitz!

[ Laughing ] Oh, boy, am I glad to see you.

Lou Garvey, Jack Kurnitz. My boss.

I told ya he was coming to see me.

Well, when do I start? What do I do?

What are you doing with the adding machine?

[ Continues ]

You said things were gettin' better.

Yeah, well, uh, uh, they got worse. Worse?

What do you mean, worse? [ Garvey ] Worse!

You know, worse?

Come on, Turtle. I need a

little bit of fresh air.

See you tomorrow.

Sh*t. I got to figure out something to do.

I have an idea.

What? Why don't we go get something to eat?

Jesus Christ, Turtle!

You're just like my mother!

It's Thursday? Yeah.

What do we always do? Guacamole?

Well, baby, maybe Mr. Fix-It and I

talk a little business. Maybe? Hmm?

Hey, Slam Dunk, baby. Don't

baby me, you lazy fool.

What the hell am I paying you for?

You are worthless.

Pimps givin' you trouble? Nothing

I can't handle, no thanks to you!

You supposed to be walking

around. Look tough!

How the hell am I supposed to look

tough carrying Tyrone around?

Ow! [ Crying ] Damn right!

What you do that for? For doing nothing!

Gophers gonna be delivering

your mail, you keep that up!

You got that wrong, Slam Dunk! You my woman!

As usual, you got it wrong. You my pimp!

At least you was.

What's this "was" sh*t?

"Was" like in ain't no more!

There's your stuff.

Say, wait a minute here. Wait! Ain't you

forgetting a little something? Tyrone!

Yeah. I still can't figure

out how you managed that.

[ Tyrone Crying ]

Yeah, I know exactly what

you mean, Tyrone. Exactly.

[ Clicks Heels ]

[ Screams ]

Hey, you... [ Speaking

Yiddish ] [ Laughing ]

Huh? You bet.

Look, I got... Oh, sh*t.

I want to be your boyfriend

Somehow that seems hard to do

[ Whirring ]

You got work for me?

Que pasa, man?

Let's see some I.D., huh?

[ Whirring Continues ]

Well, if you ask me

What's the problema, Ramon? Immigration.

They took my mother last week.

Suzi Plastic, you won't get far

Your name is Plastic and that you are

Hi, David. Hi, Maria.

[ Ramon ] Maria, what you doing here?

I'm going to the market. Don't you

know La Migra's around? Let's go.

I can't stay home all the time!

Mientras yo mande, usted hace lo que diga.

But this is silly! Mama didn't say...

I' Maria! A mama se la llevo La Migra.

Yo soy responsable hasta que yo regrese.

Y mientras yo siga responsable,

usted no sale sola, punto.

[ Maria Shouting ]

i' Claro que no!

But you're gonna act like one.

Hey, what's going on? Who's this?

Dillard, you no butt in, okay?

Maria. His sister.

Nice to meet you. I didn't

know Ramon had a sister.

He didn't know he had a sister

'til last week.

Suddenly he's big brother.

Yeah, and if I catch anybody messing

with her, I cut his pescuezo.

Y usted, vamonos. Come on, Ramon.

You're a real pain.

[ Arguing ]

[ Maria ] I didn't do anything!

[ Arguing ]

[ Arguing Continues ]

[ Thunder Rumbling ]

[ Door Opens ]

You know, this is really for people over 21?

Oh, he is. He just forgot his I.D.

Well, it's the foreman, my main man.

Hey, don't worry, Turtle. I

come to deal, not to steal.

You mind if I sit down?

I, uh, got some information for Garvey.

Say somebody installs an alarm,

only he was gonna rig it so him and

his buddy could get around it.

Dillard and Ramon. [ Boardwalk ] Right.

What do ya think?

I think it's great. Serves Garvey right.

I'm serious! What do ya say?

[ Thunder Rumbling ]

It won't work. Gettin' inside is easy.

No way they're gonna crack that safe.

It's a Hauser.

The safe? Goddamn! Huh.

I thought they was breaking in

for some little sh*t.

That's good. That's good!

He's got to give us a reward!

Garvey? [ Laughs ]

[ Maxine ] Hi, Fernando.

Como esta, Maxine? Mucho caliente.

Oh. [ Clicks Heels ]

I know you two are friends, Weslake,

but I swear I don't understand it.

Maybe you'll get lucky. It

ain't happened so far today.

Well, there's always tomorrow, Papa.

[ Boardwalk ] I'll check you later, Mama.

Papa, Mama. I don't believe it.

Hey, relax, my dance card's already full.

I got to get back into the mainstream.

You already are. You're unemployed.

Ha, ha. Big joke.

Hey, come on, let's have a drink. Fernando.

Your place. I keep forgetting it's Thursday.

[ Laughs ] You're gonna pay

for that, Weslake. [ Gasps ]

[ Maxine Laughs Louder ]

Monday. Senor Weslake, it's been a month.

Catch you Friday, Ferdie. Bye, Turtle.

[ Thunder Rumbling, Door Closes ]

[ Grabs Chips ]

[ Thunder Continues ]

You pervert!

[ TV Chatter ] [ Inhaling, Exhaling ]

[ Thunder Continues ]

[ Inhaling, Exhaling ]

[ Maxine ] Hey, Weslake, guess what?

I'm free Saturday night. Garvey's

standing me up this week.

It's his mother's birthday. I know.

So I thought I might like to play in

the pawn shop with the security guard.

Remember last year, hmm? [ Giggles ]

Does he still have that thing with

the pulleys? Block and tackle? Yeah.

I'm not guarding the place this year.

You're not?

No, it's the age of electronics. What?

He's putting in a burglar alarm system.

[ Applause On TV ]

[ Sighs ] Enough Ping-Pong.

[ Shuts Off TV ]

They have the replay of the

Cleveland game on afterwards.

Oh, really? Hmm.

[ Sets Down Glass ]

"Dear Penthouse:
"

"Being a librarian from Laramie,

Wyoming, may not sound very exciting,"

"but last night something happened that

I just thought I would share with you."

Midnight cowgirl? [ Chuckles ]

"Just before closing there

was a knock at the back door.

It was Jim, a local cowboy and a real hunk."

We can't do that one.

We don't have a saddle.

Look in the closet. [ Crowd Cheering On TV ]

You're outrageous.

Well, if you don't want to, I

could always try it with Garvey.

You got to be kidding. You'd

need paramedics standing by.

Oh, yeah? You'd be surprised.

He may be a little short of breath, but

at least he doesn't watch Ping-Pong.

Go on. "Jim, a local

cowboy and a real hunk."

[ Cheering Continues ]

"I should have said no to him. I was

breaking all the library rules.

"But he just laughed, locked the door...

and pushed me into the Rare Book Room."

[ Cheering Continues ]

[ Thunder Rumbling, Crickets Chirping ]

[ Rock Music Playing ]

[ Thunder Continues ]

[ Squeaks ]

[ Rat Squeaking Loudly ]

[ Music Playing Loudly ]

[ Harmonica ]

[ Tyrone Gurgling ]

Mmm.

Ever been in a sensory

deprivation tank, Weslake? What?

It's a great change of pace.

I have a friend, he has one of those clubs.

I got to go, hot stuff. [ Doorbell Buzzing ]

That must be Turtle. Turtle can

wait, cowgirl. [ Drops Brush ]

I got some range to ride,

front pasture to plow.

Weslake, I am late for work.

I'll see you Saturday. We could

try that skydiving next time.

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