Crank: High Voltage Page #3

That's smashing!

F***in' do it, babe! Come on!

Doc Miles, you motherf***er!

You f***in' nailed it, Doc!

You f***in' got it, Doctor!

Oh, my God.

Baby, switch.

Give the kitty some cream, baby.

Give the kitty some more cream.

That's it! Who's your horse!

F***in' Eve!

This is your lucky day.

I f***in' love you!

I love you so much!

Eve! Stop!

The race is over!

Oh!

Door number six!

Dude I'm coming!

You're f***ing useless.

Yeah?

Well, you ain't no Ralph Macchio

yourself, Chev!

Oh, f***!

Did I drop some change

or did I hear a chink?

F*** you, man!

Yeah, f*** me?

Give me that f***in' box!

Come here, c*nt!

F*** you, Chelios!

Number six, Fire Carrier

Number seven.....

Number eight, Flying Bearcat.

Get in.

Number ten

Ah.

Chev Chelios.

Don motherfucking Kim.

Looks like you pulled my lily-white ass

out of the hot grease again.

Please...don't thank me.

I don't think I shall.

Now, I'm not sure if you're aware of this,

Jeeves, but your slant-eyed associates

have taken something of

extreme value to me.

And I intend to get it back.

You know what you are, Chev Chelios?

Tell me.

You...are a sh*t magnet.

Your friend has the gay condition.

And now where were we?

You were about to tell me exactly

who's got what I need and why.

You may have heard of the name...

''Poon Dong.''

Only in dirty limericks.

The patriarch of our organization

said to be one hundred years old,

considered to be more god than man

by the Triad gangs.

Well, several months ago, word had spread

out that Poon Dong had taken gravely ill

and without a heart transplant,

only had few days left to live.

I see.

Of course, that was unacceptable.

Many a Triad would have given their

hearts from their own breasts to save

the life of Poon Dong. But not me.

F*** that. But many.

Then word spread out that there was a man

who had a heart so powerful

that he was capable of surviving

even our most deadliest of poisons.

Yeah, the Chinese sh*t.

Yes.

It was you, Chev Chelios.

It was your heart that Poon Dong

chose to replace his own.

One more question. Who the f*** is

EI Huron, The Ferret?

And how is he involved with all this?

The Ferret?

Ah. Let's just say our organizations have

a history of, uh, conflicting interests.

I see.

Well, that's mighty white of you

to help me out like this Donald.

Now, if you don't mind...

Uh who said I was helping you out?

My reward for returning you to

Poon Dong will be great.

So, this is how it is?

This is how it is.

Chicken and broccoli.

Dude... are you all right?

Aye, never better.

Fish Halman here, bringing you breaking,

on-the-scenes coverage of

an explosion of mayhem,

murder and lewd behavior that has swept

the Long Beach area this morning.

Our viewers may remember

a similar series of incidents

which took place some three months back

involving this unidentified man.

Police are now confirming that today's

lurid events are the work of

that very same psychotic deviant.

Ted Garcia's standing by

in Hollywood Park with a live report.

Take it away, Ted.

Thanks, Fish.

I'm standing here with a

group of people -- families,

seniors and degenerate gamblers --

that are shocked and traumatized

by what they've witnessed here today

when what started as a sunny,

southern California afternoon

at the races turned,

without warning, into a public,

open air porno.

Did you say ''porno,'' Ted?

Straight up, Fish.

I'd like you to meet...

...Glenda Lansing of Hawaiian Gardens.

Glenda says she had an all-too

up-close-and-personal encounter

with the suspect just moments before

the shocking incident occurred.

That bastard had his filthy

hands all over me.

Could you describe exactly what happened?

I never saw a bastard wanted it so bad.

He put his filthy hands on

every part of me.

Okay, that's a little too much

information for this broadcast, Glenda.

Can you describe the man

that assaulted you?

He looked like that fella

from the movies.

The teabag.

Teabag?

You know, the trainspotted fella?

Built like a-a brick shithouse.

AII right, ma'am, you know that kind of

language is not gonna fly on TV.

Well, that son of a b*tch.

He treated me like his hot little whore.

Explain to me again how you let

this motherf***er get away.

He just uh went buck wild

and killed everybody.

But not you.

Just got lucky, EI.

The three of us work the Puerto way!

You know the drill, b*tch.

Do it.

Andale!

Do it!

Now the other one.

You bought yourself another chance.

I don't think you'll f***

it up next time.

Now... go get yourself a Band-Aid...

and go get me f***ing Chelios, cabron!

That's the last time.

The last time that son of

a b*tch leaves me

with my ass in the wind in front of

eight thousand people!

W-W-Wait, Lemon!

Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey! It's me.

Randy. Hi.

What the hell are you doing here?

Look, it's about the dude.

What dude?

The a**hole.

What about him?

He's on every channel.

The guy's a f***in' psycho killer, baby!

Every cop in the city's lookin' for him.

Not to mention the f***in' beaners

and the f***in' Orientals.

So?

So? So?

So the heat's on the street and that

dude's playin' for keeps, baby.

I have no idea what the hell

you just said.

Look, Lemon-Lemon-Lemon, look.

What?

I know we've all been down our dark

roads in the past, okay, babe?

I need my hair did, my nails did,

you ain't gave me no money.

Where's you been at, Randy?

If I ever catch you with another b*tch--

Well, you do got a big-ass dick

for a white boy.

Anyway, look.

The point is...you're my lady now.

AII right?

And I don't think it's really safe

for you to be out there with

that-that sick f***er running

wild right now.

You can say that again.

Look, look-look-look, hey-hey,

listen to me.

Listen to me.

Here's what I think we should do.

What Randy?

AII right.

I say we go to the fuzz.

AII right?

We tell 'em everything we know.

We come clean.

What?

Yeah, the fuzz, all right?

I mean, I'd kill this guy myself,

but I got two strikes against me.

Let go of me.

Look, baby.

AII right, I'm tryin' to be cool to you,

but I will drop the hammer.

You want me to drop the hammer, baby?

I'm in no mood today, Randy!

Lemon! Lemon!

Freeze! Hey!

Now spread it! Come on, let's go.

Against the car.

Si.

Don't leave no skid marks, nigga!

Ride that sh*t, Big Betsy.

Throw your arm up, son, like...

Eight seconds, n*gger. Yeah!

Oh, my God.

Hello.

Orlando.

Venus! What is up, my man?

Where you been, man?

I ain't seen your ass since--

Hey, by the way, man,

we was all of us broken up about

what happened to your brother, man.

You okay?

Orlando, I need your help.

Venus, come on.

You know you my n*gger, you can't

get no bigger. L.A. underground,

we're like a family, man. You--

That's it, baby.

We be a-be a freak-ass family,

but we be family, all right?

We look out for our own. What you need?

I'm looking for a man called The Ferret.

EI Huron.

Aw, sh*t.

Ferret?

Hey. Oh. Oh, great.

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