Crash Page #2

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Really? Mm-hm. Has

been for about a week.

I never did like his new

girlfriend. Yes, I know.

She weren't good enough for him.

Well, after you, who were, eh?

She was just... she just wasn't...

Brrff? What, you?

I'll get up. Yay!

I'm not going to the prom.

We'll just do one step at a time.

It's too soon. Oh,

it's far too soon.

You do love him, don't you? Tom?

Yeah, I do.

Come on. Out!

Fast road cam, panel filter,

all sweet and sorted.

Yeah, it doesn't need it,

doesn't need it. Job's a good 'un.

Re-tuning an engine right ain't

something every lad can do, mind.

Yeah, you done good.

You still at that?

You're not even changed.

What? The invitation says seven.

Hiya, Mum.

Hey, you're supposed to be

picking up your tuxedo.

Yeah, at five. You are still coming,

though, ain't you, Dad?

We'll be there! Even if I have

to drag him there myself.

I'm not letting you refuse another

invitation from the Harpers.

They have heard every excuse

under the sun. We're going.

Did you get the oil?

Yeah, GTX, it's in't kitchen.

Eh? Relax, I got the olive oil you

wanted, and the balsamic. I love you.

Kate's mum said we didn't

have to bring anything.

I told your father I didn't want

anything for our 20th anniversary.

Oh, quietest fortnight of my life.

Shower, shave. You still here?

All right, all right, I'm going.

Off to get dressed up

like a wazzock.

Ey-up, it lives. Good to have you

back. We thought we'd lost you

there.

See? Told you I could get her up.

See you if you can get it into

the shower, as well. Shut up.

Are you going to this party

thing then, or what?

No, I am not going to the prom.

My powers of persuasion can

only stretch so far.

God. Sorry, did someone

just say something?

Prom? Could you do anything

more sexist and chauvinist?

This isn't America.

Jealous much?

You wouldn't get me to the

prom even if you dragged to it.

If you don't want to go, love,

you don't have to.

You missed lunch, there's

leftovers in the fridge.

You wouldn't go to the prom because

you don't have a boyfriend.

Neither do you! Rach!

Mum, Leah's being a b*tch!

How can I be a b*tch for telling

the truth? Take it back!

What are you, seven years old?

Enough.

Slag. Princess. Lesbian. Loser.

Holy cow, all right!

People. You did get the invites to

Mum and Dad's party, didn't you?

Yeah. The limo's coming at eight

so the party starts at seven.

What, no itinerary?

Actually, yes. Maps and directions.

Just saying, we live next door.

Yes, and I'm just saying you need

to leave plenty of time to get there

so you need to set off

at 6:
55.

OK? And don't make me come

get you, Jack. Mr Grew to you.

There's no mention of the girls.

There's a separate

itinerary for participants.

Rach, you have to come. It'll be fun.

I can't, it's too embarrassing.

That is the most sensible thing

you've said in three days. Leah.

Right, will you at least

do me a favour then?

Can you just put your

dress on for a photo?

Rach!

First day of primary school we had

our picture outside our house.

And the first day of

secondary school.

This is just as important. And you

need to do this for me, please?

Please just do it for me.

I feel stupid.

It'd mean a lot to my mum.

I'm still not going.

Right, I need to go.

More organising to do?

Yes, something like that, bye!

Bye. See ya.

Ethan. Oh, plan A has failed.

So plan B is game-on, and as soon

as I have a plan B,

I will let you know, OK?

Hello.

Now, yours is the

grey dress, isn't it?

I think so.

Most girls could describe

their dress blindfold.

There we are. Lovely, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, that's the one.

I'm picking it up now, Kate.

Yes, I'm standing in the...

No, I won't let you...

Hiya. Yeah, she's

just picked it, yeah.

Oh, no, it's a lovely choice.

She'll look lovely.

Bye, Kate.

Be sure to tell your dad

I was asking after him, eh?

Yeah, thanks. Bye. Bye.

This is supposed to

be a secret meeting.

Oh, sh*t, sorry. I'm just really

excited for the prom! The prom!

Nice. Totally believable.

So, tonight's the night?

Did you bring it?

It's opal. It's her favourite stone.

It's amazing!

D'you think she'll...?

She'll love it.

I was going to say, do you

think she'll say yes?

She loves you.

You're not getting

in my car like that.

Showers are broken.

Well, there's newspaper in the back.

Yeah, I'll watch the news

when I get home.

It's for sitting on, Brian. What's

the extra practice for, anyway?

Extra? Just mucking around, mate.

If you don't want to

tell me, that's fine.

There's a scout coming. On Saturday.

Yeah?

Do they teach you how

to build a tent

and do your cycling proficiency

and making fire with sticks. No?

Serious? Yeah.

A proper scout, that's f***ing

awesome, man. Cheers, mate.

Have to tell Mum and Dad.

Oh, you know what Dad's like.

"Football's not a game, it's a job.

IF you get signed,

"IF you get to play,

IF you don't get injured.

"What happens when it's all over and

you're on the scrap heap at 34?"

Yeah, well, that's just Dad, innit?

You know what he's like.

How much does this mean to you?

It means everything.

There you go then, man.

It's your dream, innit?

You never give up on your dreams.

Yeah. You have to stop

watching The X Factor.

Kate makes me. Bet she does.

No, seriously though.

Sit on that. Right.

When you're wearing number

ten for England,

we'll be sat in Wembley Stadium,

Dad will be proud as punch saying

he knew all along you'd be a pro.

I have to get signed first.

Yeah, you will, man. They'll

be f***ing idiots not to.

Thanks, Tom.

I need to set something

up for the prom.

I was going to drop you home first

but do you want to give me a hand?

It doesn't involve a bucket

of pig's blood, does it?

What?

Sure, fine. Yeah? Yeah.

Good.

Hilary, that you?

It's me, Dad, Ashley.

Oh.

I should set t'table.

Your mum will be home soon.

Mum's not coming home, Dad.

She never mentioned

she were working late.

She rang a little while ago.

Oh, OK.

I've left your medicine on

the side, and there's more

casserole in the fridge.

I'll be home before 12.

Do you want a cuppa before I go?

She never mentioned she

were working late.

She's dead, isn't she?

We lost her two years ago.

You look just like her,

you know that?

Oh, I'm shattered.

Don't you have a committee to

help you with all of this?

Are you joking? Most of them are at

the hairdresser's getting ready.

How were Rachel? She still

wallowing over that boy?

No, she did get up.

Besides, Mum, wallowing is

a perfectly normal thing.

All the wallowing in the world

isn't going to bring him back.

All the wallowing isn't

about getting him back.

It's not about them at all.

Listen, your dad and I have

been very impressed with you

the last few months.

All your organisation

and the fact your schoolwork

hasn't suffered.

You know, your buttering up

approach needs a lot of work.

Here. Just something to show

just how proud we are.

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