Crash Page #3

---

It's Nan's necklace.

You don't know how much this means

to me. You really don't. Thank you.

Oh, go on, get dressed.

I look stupid in these clothes,

like I'm pretending

I own a yacht or something.

Aw, you look lovely,

my little skipper.

I don't do well meeting new folk.

You're not that great with

the ones you know, either.

I don't see our Tom's car anywhere.

Maybe we could just say

we got lost on the way here.

Kate gave us perfect

directions to the house.

Look, you like Kate, don't you?

Yeah.

Well, any parents of hers

can't be that bad.

There's always exception

to the rule, ain't there?

Look at you and your parents.

I mean, what if they don't like us?

We're meeting them, not

going out with them! It's Tom

and Kate who have to get on.

This is ridiculous. It's worse

than being back at school.

Hi! Oh, Jesus! Hiya!

What you doing sitting out here?

No, yeah, no, we're just coming in!

We're coming in. Fantastic.

Yeah, fantastic. See? We should

have gone home when we had t'chance.

Come on.

Do you want to go and help

yourselves? You going to serve that

over there?

Hiya. You must be Val.

Hi, I'm Val. I'm Martin, nice to

meet you. The house is lovely.

Bit small for us. You know how

things are with properties.

You can't give a house away,

can you? Let me get you a drink.

What will you have?

Whatever you're having. Same for me.

I'm having a beer, but

there's wine, anything.

Beer. Beer's fine. OK,

a beer I'll get you.

Shall I take that?

Your usual? Yes, please.

I feel really stupid. Don't be daft.

It's for one photograph, Rach.

Exactly. You look gorgeous.

Really? Yes. You're not just

saying that? C'mon.

Now you're just fishing for

compliments. Shut up!

You know, you should come. No.

You know I'm only doing this

for your mum's stupid

photo collection.

Here. You don't have to wear them.

Aww.

Aww, Ash.

Aww, they're beautiful, thank you!

It's all right. Aw! Thanks.

Can you help put it on

please, Rach? Yep.

Thank you.

It's really fiddly.

Don't choke me!

Shut up!

I guess this is it. We're ready.

You look a million dollars!

That's exactly what

this is costing me.

You like it? Love it!

Thanks, Mum.

You were such a tomboy

till you were 11!

Mum, stop it!

You look amazing.

Oh, this old thing?

I found it on my wardrobe floor.

Oh, Mum, Ash made us all matching

necklaces. They're really nice.

I thought... She's very talented.

You look amazing.

That's Leah. Rach's sister.

She's out of my league.

Why do you say that?

If she's Premiership,

I'd be what, Conference?

Don't put yourself down.

League two, least.

Cheers, mate, thanks

for the ego boost.

Yes? Hey. Hey.

Some party.

Yeah, last time I saw this

big a collection of plastics

was at the recycling bank.

I'm Tom's brother.

I know who you are, Tom's brother.

Everyone knows everybody

else in this place.

I'm just saying. I'm Brian. What,

I thought you were Tom's brother?

I am. I mean, I'm both, I...

Moby Dick. That isn't on the

school reading list, is it?

Let me put this simply,

seeing as you clearly have

no understanding of

rudimentary body language.

Firstly, you're a footballer.

No, I'm not, not yet.

But you aspire to be a footballer.

Yeah, but... Wow.

That's your aspiration? Even sadder.

Secondly, and I know this may

come as a bit of a shock,

but believe it or not, you can read

books that aren't on the syllabus.

Might want to remember that next time

you're "aspiring to be a footballer."

Whoa! OK, I can take a hint, Ahab.

I get it, you're not interested.

Well? I'm taking it slow.

Playing it smooth.

I just wanted to introduce myself

so she knows who I am.

Dad! Dad, don't dance!

You mind your own business,

I'm having a good time

over here, all right?

He's so embarrassing,

he does it all the time.

..think she's double

bluffing you...

She's into Arcade Fire. Who is?

That girl you were talking to.

Tell me you didn't talk to her?

You like them and all, don't you?

What's that song of theirs

that always makes you cry?

You know I can never talk to her

again. I'll have to move schools.

Relax, I was talking to her mother.

Mam! You'll only delete it!

Cos I always look crap in photos.

I think you look cute.

Fine. But this never sees the light

of day, ever. I've got to go.

All right. See you in the morning.

See you later, love. Love you.

Right, you ready? After three.

One, two, three.

Cheese.

Fantastic!

Have a good time, love.

Thanks. And don't drink.

And when you've finished not

drinking, drink loads of water

and take two aspirin before

you get your head down. Mum!

I'll make sure she gets home safe.

No, I've told you. Rach!

What? You are coming! No.

Mum!

You can see my knickers!

Have a great time!

Don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Is that really the advice

you want to give her?

Bye! See you. Bye. See you.

Oh, don't you start.

You'll set me off.

That cost you a few quid

and all, did it, Charlie?

Aye, an arm and a leg

and a lot of earache.

Two arms and a leg here.

We need a beer, then. Who's up for

one? Yeah, I'm up for it, come on.

Right, so go on, what are we drinking

to? One more night and we never

have to see the inside of Millwood

High School ever, ever again.

Oh, see, I'm going to miss it.

That's because you're a swot

who's off to uni.

We grew up there

and we hung out there.

Everything changes after this.

Not everything.

I'll drink to that.

Are you drinking?

No, you got me here.

Don't expect me to have a good time!

Smile for the camera.

Don't take a photo of me.

Video!

Tom, your missus just spat all

over me! How can you be with that?

You owe me one.

How many lifts have I given you?

Well, let's call it even.

All right. You OK?

Yeah!

No. I'm crapping myself.

What if she says no?

How much does she mean to you?

Everything.

There you go.

There you go.

Thank you. For what?

This. Oh, Rach!

Told you. You did.

You look lovely, Rachel.

Love your dress.

Hey, Rachel.

Look, I thought you weren't

going to be here. If I'd known...

Rach! You're a real d*ckhead,

do you know that, David? Kate!

You say one more word and I'll slap

that fake smile right off your face!

Rach!

Rach! Rachel, listen to me.

You can do better than him and

you can do much better than this.

No, I knew I shouldn't have come!

But you can't hide away

for ever, can you?

Do you know what?

At the end of the day, yeah,

life goes on whether it's

with you or without you.

And Ash and I have taken a vote

and decided it is better with you.

Do you know he slept with her

when we were together?

Yeah, I know. But it's better

that you know too, isn't it?

No, it doesn't feel better.

Yeah, but listen to me. It will. It

will feel better, I promise you.

Well, it doesn't feel better

right now.

Give it time, Rach.

There you are,

Kate, can I borrow you a minute?

Not now, Tom.

It's all right. I'm here.

Come here.

David is nothing but an idiot.

You can do so much better than him.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes