Crave Page #4

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pictures yourself?

Uh...

Some yes, some no.

Really?

I'm almost afraid

to ask which ones.

Yeah.

It's all kinds of, uh...

What's the word?

F***ed up?

Personal.

You make money

off these?

A little, yeah.

But, uh, I got some side

projects goin' on too.

Are these actually the insides

of people's refrigerators?

Those?

Yeah.

Why?

Well, they're good

story-tellers.

Like, um, this one,

for instance.

It's from a crime scene

in Highland Park.

A guy was found dead

on his couch,

but he didn't know when

he bought that milk

or whatever that it--

it would outlast him.

Kind of makes me wonder

sometimes

when I'm at the store

if...

like, the mustard

I'm buying is gonna be around

after I'm gone,

you know?

My God.

It must be terrible

actually being there.

How do you not end up

damaged by it all?

Ah, it's not so bad,

really.

You get used to it.

Wow.

Well, anyway...

What are you doing?

Heh-heh,

I don't know.

Yeah, you do.

Maybe I do.

You're a little bit weird,

you know that, right?

Just a bit.

Listen.

I'm a part of

this theatre group,

and we're puttin'

on a play

over at Belle Isle

this weekend.

Okay.

You wanna go with me?

Are you in it?

No.

Then yes,

I would like to go.

Oh, f*** off!

Hey, you wanna

see where I sleep?

No, no, no, no!

Where you goin'?

Oh... come on!

What am I gonna do with this?

Hey, sexy.

It was a good time.

Your parents home?

Heh-heh-heh...

Now?

Okay, I'll teach you.

It was a lot of fun.

Hi!

That seat is taken.

I'm waiting for somebody.

Oh no, that's okay.

This won't take long.

Hey baby,

can I call you back?

Listen, pal, I don't know

how much clearer I need--

If you want a wallet--

any that are wallet-sized,

that's gonna--

What the f***

is this sh*t?

What is it

that they say?

That a picture's worth

a thousand words, right?

Is that right?

You with me?

Try to keep up.

Just get to it.

Well, I figured

that those pictures

are worth a thousand

dollars, each.

Although I bet your wife can

think of a thousand words too.

Words like,

oh, I don't know...

divorce and custody.

So, uh...

How are we gonna

make this go away?

What?

You're not listening.

I just told you.

A thousand, each.

No.

I mean go away forever.

How do I know you're not gonna

just show up again

in a month or

a year asking for more?

Well, you don't, really.

Just give me fair market value

and I disappear from your life.

I'm gone.

I take those with me.

I'm not greedy.

I'll give you a grand.

Total.

All right.

Here's something else:

child molesters

don't last long in prison.

She's 16.

The age of consent

in Canada is 14.

Uh, yeah.

I don't think

it works that way.

That's okay.

Oh, hey, what's the age

of consent

for gettin' corn-holed

in jail the next 20 years?

What is that?

Just...

wait.

Okay?

Sit down.

Hey.

That's nice.

Is that insured?

Yes.

Good.

Okay.

Well, don't report it

stolen.

Just tell your wife,

and- and, uh,

the insurance company

that you lost it

at the gym

or somethin', okay?

Everybody wins.

Just do not

report it stolen.

Just take it.

Hey...

I know you.

Nah, I'm that other guy.

You were the photographer

at my daughter's party.

Remember the first time you

looked in the mirror

and you realized

you were going to hell?

Not bad, Aiden.

Not bad at all.

How much?

You have a

receipt, don't you?

Yeah, it's in my other pants.

My dog ate those.

Come on, how much?

Without a receipt, you'd be

lucky to get 2,000, if that.

Get the f*** out of here.

But I can

offer you $2,500.

25?

That's a $10,000 watch!

Normally for a gentleman

in your situation,

I'd recommend eBay.

Three.

?

?

Thank you.

You smell good.

Oh, yeah?

But it ain't

comin' from you,

but you definitely

have that

unmistakable

sweet stink.

What's her name?

Does she look as

good as the name sounds?

Oh, yeah!

I don't know

what to tell you, Pete.

This one's special.

I mean, every time I'm with her

it all just goes away.

Everything.

I'm serious,

all the sh*t just gone.

Wow, man,

that's beautiful. Really.

She's everything I want.

You know, I think I might

actually be, um...

Nah, nah.

Ha-ha.

Hey...

remember the other day

you were asking me about

that 2-11,

Griswold and State?

Yeah.

Yeah, the, uh,

the party store.

And then there was

the other one down Griswold

at the coney

near Michigan?

Uh-huh, yeah.

Same perp,

apparently.

Really?

Yeah.

You see what kind of piece

he was carrying?

Did I...

Uh, no.

I mean,

not really, no.

The, uh--

I mean, I remember

it was small,

and uh, you know,

silver, I think.

Yeah, it was silver.

Maybe a .38 Special

snub-nose?

Sh*t, Pete,

I don't know.

Maybe.

And you know, to be honest,

I was kinda scared shitless

at the time, you know?

Yeah.

Well, that's totally

understandable.

Uh, why? Did you guys

catch a break, or...?

Maybe.

Yeah?

You didn't happen to see

this guy toss it in the trash

or down the drain

or somethin', did you?

No.

Ah, I didn't think so.

All right!

Movin' on.

Come on, number four!

Come on,

come on, come on!

He's in dead last.

? Virginia

? I love you, Virginia

? Ba-da-ba-da

Hey, hey!

That's enough!

Come on!

What are you gonna do?

Just leave her alone, okay?

Jesus Christ,

look what you've done to her!

What?

This?

F***in' this!

Back the f*** off, man!

What, are you a cop?

No cops allowed down here!

No, I'm just a guy with a

f***ing gun aimed at your face.

Okay, now, back off!

Don't matter.

You're dead anyway.

You shoot me, you're dead.

You walk away, you're dead.

Back the f*** off, man!

I'm not f***in' around here!

You're not going to

shoot me.

I've been shot before.

I can tell.

It's not in your eyes.

You're not--

Die, you motherf***er!

Die, you motherf***er!

Come on!

What the f***

is wrong with you?

Sh*t!

Oh, f***!

You f***ing idiot!

You almost got yourself killed!

What were you thinking?

What?

You told me to do it!

No, I didn't.

You told yourself to do it.

Jesus Christ, you'd better get

your sh*t together, Aiden!

I mean it.

Hi.

Hey, I'm so sorry

I'm late.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, yeah.

It's just been

a bad, uh...

a really bad day.

But I could use some, uh,

quality entertainment, so...

Oh, what an

unexpected pleasure it is

to welcome you once more

into my home

on this

extraordinary day.

The pleasure, I assure

you, my dear lady, is entirely mine.

But may I also say that the sun

above is burnin' hotter

than the flames of Hades below.

Oh, Master Rupert,

won't you hand me my mint julep?

I'd be ever so delighted.

But of course, Young Emily.

You are a gentleman

of the highest order.

You must remind me

to reward you later

with a thorough tour

of my garden.

Oh, indeed I shall.

For how better

can I serve the South

than to personally tend

to her most precious fields?

She is a fertile

land in desperate need

of plough and seed.

My goodness, Emily.

Master Rupert has left tales

of unspeakable violence

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