Criminal Minds Season 6: Crime Scene - Devil in the Details Page #2

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Turns out the poor guy's

got kidney failure.

Jesus.

It's amazing how you can know

someone for so long,

but you never really know 'em.

Wow.

He's got these terrible,

cracked teeth.

I was thinking about paying

for him to go to the dentist,

but I don't know.

Well, you know, if his passion's

really basketball...

- Mmm.

- ...you should talk to Ron's sister

about that school she runs.

Maybe they have

a coaching job open.

That's not a bad idea.

Hi.

Sorry to bother you,

Dr. Lang,

but when your guys broke

through your wall the other day

a bunch of dust

got into my house.

Oh. I'm really sorry

about that.

I also, I, I noticed that you're

expanding your front

room towards our house.

- Right.

- I looked it up for me on the internet.

The code is to leave

a five foot passage.

What can I do?

You can't see it anymore

because I spent hours

cleaning everything with

white vinegar and a toothbrush.

But you can

see it on the TV here.

Oh.

Wow, well, I can have the guys

working on my project

come by and clean up for you.

I hardly think that a,

a laborer

who hammers and saws

all day would know

how to clean my house.

Yeah, you might be right

about that.

And this has been very,

very hard on me.

I mean, with all this dust just,

it's just floating around.

Just look!

It's everywhere! See?

It's everywhere!

Here, you see it?

I mean, you're a doctor.

You've heard of

environmental illnesses.

- Sure, I've heard of 'em.

- That's, that's why I keep this

basil leaf pinned to my lapel.

It purifies the air.

My naprapath suggested it.

It's been a lifesaver.

Well, I'm very happy to pay for

a professional cleaning service

if you need it.

Whatever the cost.

You give me the bill,

I'll write the check.

I just want you to be happy.

That's very nice of you.

Not at all.

All right,

I should get goin', so...

- Dr. Lang?

- Yeah?

I heard you last night...

...try to scare away

your raccoons.

Oh, I'm sorry about that.

That's OK.

I don't sleep much anyway.

- You don't sleep?

- No.

I get a little

every few weeks, but...

...basically

I'm a night creature.

Huh.

Well, I could get you some

samples of Ambien

from the office.

It might help with that.

- Really?

- Yeah.

You know what?

I'll drop 'em in your mailbox

when I get home from work.

Nealy!

Wow, this stuff is burning

the skin of my hand

just touching it!

I doubt a raccoon

is gonna come back here

after he snorts up

a nose full of this.

So... I read online today

about this guy...

...he sticks a barrel

into his grass

and he throws steaks in,

and during the night,

the raccoons, they jump in,

but they can't climb out.

He runs a hose from his garage out

of the tailpipe from his car,

he sticks a lid on

and asphyxiates them.

You know, I really don't feel

like talking about this

five nights a week.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to bore you.

We should re-landscape

without sod,

like I keep telling you.

You know, fifteen hundred

square feet of grass

and a new irrigation system

was expensive.

You just don't throw it away.

Please don't use

that tone with me.

I didn't use any tone with you.

OK, don't deny using a tone

when you use a tone.

I'm not crazy, I know

what I just heard.

I didn't call you crazy.

But you implied it,

though, didn't you?

As if I'm not sane enough

to judge your tone of voice.

- Maybe you are crazy.

- Oh, oh, right.

Oh, oh, now the truth

comes out.

- Well, you want to know the truth?

- Yeah, sure, I love the truth.

OK. The truth is,

you are the crazy one, OK?

- Right, yes, of course I am. Yeah.

- With these goddamn raccoons,

you are acting like a complete

f***ing deranged moron.

Now I'm acting like

a f***ing deranged moron?

- Keep your f***ing voice down.

- You keep your f***in' voice down.

Don't you dare wake up Miles.

This is it! This is perfect!

This is just what you want,

isn't it?

- What is what I want?

- You want me to get crazy

- so you can remind me of how crazy I get...

- Oh, mission accomplished!

...when you make me

apologize to you!

You're crazy with your

f***ing Indian pepper bullshit!

Hey! I'm working on our

f***ing lawn for our son!

- What?

- But of course I'm the crazy one!

And of course you have no

f***ing responsibility

- at all in this fight!

- You know what,

just go f*** one

of your raccoons!

More likely than f***ing you!

Hi, Jeffrey.

Fancy meeting you here.

Uh, here's for

your cleaning service.

Thank you.

Oh, your timing's impeccable.

I have a surprise for you,

come on in.

I'd love to come in,

but I've gotta get to work.

Come on in.

I won't bite.

Now just wait here, just a sec.

OK.

I found these really

great blueberries

at the farmer's

market the other day

and it inspired

me to do some baking.

So...

I hope you like pies.

Oh, you didn't have to do that.

Well, the blueberries

were so beautiful,

I had to do something

with them.

Did you know they're

a superfood?

And, and the crust

is gluten-free

which means I didn't use flour.

I used spelt.

By the way...

...I'm sleeping

so much better,

thanks to your

magic little pills.

Oh, that's good to hear.

And Jeff, you haven't

seen my Matthew

wandering around the

neighborhood, have you?

- Uh...

- My cat.

- Your cat?

- He didn't come home last night,

but you know how cats are,

nine lives and all.

Actually, I was thinking about

buying a miniature camera

and attaching it to his collar

to see where

he skulks around to.

- Oh, that's, uh, an idea.

- Yeah.

Thank you.

Hey, babe.

Thanks for writing.

I really would love to get

together with you

one of these days

for a, uh, a rubdown.

Hope to see you soon.

And if we do get together,

don't forget

to bring your friend...

...Mary Jane.

You're sweating.

Well, I walked here.

I tried to get

here as fast as I could.

Is everything all right?

What's goin' on?

Yeah, just needed to talk

to a friend and have a drink.

- You want one?

- Of course.

Have I ever said no to that

question after twelve?

So what are we

talkin' about here?

We are talking about...

...infidelity.

I believe you have some

experience with that.

Uh, yes, I do.

Uh, is Mister Virgin Mary

being unfaithful?

No.

Not unfaithful.

- Not technically.

- Oh.

But I have been emailing with

girls on the internet.

Girls on the internet.

OK, what, what kind of girls

on the internet?

Sensual massage therapists.

Oh, you mean whores?

I guess.

OK, well, I think

that sleeping with a prostitute

"technically" counts

as being unfaithful.

No, no, I am not sleeping

with them, that's the point.

I just get off on flirting

with them online.

I don't go through with it.

Though truthfully,

I do think about it.

When was the last time

you and Nealy had sex?

Oh, uh...

- ...it was make-up sex.

- Really?

Yeah.

Do you wanna hear about it?

- Yes, of course.

- OK.

Uh, well,

I was f***in' around online,

you know, looking up porn,

checking out my internet chicks,

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