Crocodile Dundee Page #4

Hey! Ah!

Where the hell did I leave the cab?

Don't know.

You wait here until I

go look for it, mate.

Righto, mate.

G'day, girls.

Mick Dundee from Australia.

Looking for a good time, honey?

Always looking for a good time.

Are either of you ladies attached

or married or anything like that?

No. We're both single ladies.

This is Karla. I'm Simone.

Where you from, honey?

I'm from Walkabout Creek

in the Northern Territory.

You probably don't

know where that is.

Hey. I do.

You're the guy I've been

reading about in the paper,

the "Crocodile Man."

I've been reading about

him in the paper.

He's like a regular Tarzan.

Wrestles crocodiles, eats snakes.

Is this your first

trip to New York?

First trip anywhere.

Well, hell.

We might just have to

give you one for free.

Yeah.

One what?

Huh.

Ah, maybe we could take in a movie

or, you know, go to a dance or...

Hey, girls, girls.

Are we working tonight

or are we socializing?

Hey, pal.

I was just talking to the ladies

and making a bit of progress.

Are you going to talk all night, my

man, or you going to screw one of them?

Listen, I'm sorry about that,

but if you stand around out the

front of a place like this,

you're going to hear that

kind of bad language.

I should've been home hours ago.

Nice chatting to you, ladies.

Hey, come on, Dan. You're

in no condition to drive.

Hop in, mate.

That's why you have so many

accidents over here...

The steering wheel's on the

wrong side of the car.

Get out of the way, dopey!

Get on the right side of

the road, you pelican!

If I give my heart to you

Then I'll have none

and you'll have two

Seor Mick?

Ah.

The towels for Seor Mick.

Is that you, Rosita?

Just leave the spare towels

on the bed, will you?

Muchas gracias, love.

Si, Seor Mick.

Struth!

Um... Hey, listen, uh...

Rosita, uh...

I was only being friendly.

You know, I didn't mean, um...

Your towels, Seor Mick.

Oh. Phew.

For a minute there, um...

Room service took on

a whole new meaning.

One dog, please.

With chili, onions,

sauerkraut, and some peppers.

There you go.

You eat that?

Well, you know, you can live on

it, but it tastes like sh*t.

My bag!

Somebody stop him!

Thief! Thief!

Hey, Mick!

How you doing, baby?

It's me, Simone!

Oh, yeah, Simone.

Having a good time?

As always.

Nice girl.

Thoughtful, too...

- Dancing with her father.

- Hmm.

You'll have to overcome this

- country boy shyness, Dundee.

- Hi.

Yeah.

Oh, there's someone

I want you to meet.

Ah! Sue, darling! You're back.

How wonderful.

Fran, how are you?

Couldn't be better.

Tell me, who's the new man?

This is the man I'm writing

about, Mick Dundee.

Oh!

Something the matter, darling?

Oh!

Hi. Pleased to meet you.

It's okay. He's Australian.

Maybe I'd better go there someday.

Oh, darling, I'm so

glad you could come.

Excuse me.

Ah. Just making sure.

Right.

I'll get us a drink.

It's good sh*t.

What's up, pal? Got a

blocked nose, have you?

Blocked nose. Right.

There's a better way

of doing it than that.

Better way, huh?

Yep.

It's the way we do it back home.

It really fixes us up.

Now, boil the water,

get the steam going. Right.

Put your face right over that.

And the old tea towel

over your scalp.

Put your head right down onto that.

Breathe it in real deep.

Ten minutes of that, you'll be

clear as a bell. No worries.

Get into it.

That will do it.

You know, Mick, that was probably

a couple hundred dollars'

worth of cocaine.

What's that?

Oh. It's a drug. You sniff it.

What for?

Well, to get a buzz.

What, like shoving a

blowfly up your nose?

Got the photo, Mick.

I look great.

Yeah.

Ida sends love.

Wait a minute. Donk wants

to have a word to you.

Mick! Get stuffed!

Very good.

How you getting on with

the New Yorkers, Mick?

Oh, bonzer people.

Friendly, full of beans,

but, uh, a bit weird.

Well, that's the joys of traveling.

Uh. When are you coming home, mate?

Well, if you can manage,

Wal, I'd like to stay a while.

Oh, yeah. No troubles at all.

Wouldn't have anything to do with

a certain lady writer, would it?

Yeah, well,

to start with, she's a

better kisser than Donk.

You little beauty.

Keep in touch.

Yeah. No worries, Wal. Ta-ta.

Come on, Wal, what'd he say?

Well, he wants to stay there

a little while longer.

He wants me to take

care of things here.

You got a light, buddy?

Yeah. Sure, kid. There you go.

And your wallet.

Mick, give him your wallet.

- What for?

- He's got a knife.

That's not a knife.

That's a knife.

Sh*t!

Just kids having fun.

Are you all right?

I'm always all right when

I'm with you, Dundee.

God, that sounds corny.

Why do you always make me feel

like Jane in a Tarzan comic?

That's what we ran while

you were down under.

Sorry. Can't seem to

get my mind in gear.

Sue, when you were away,

I, uh... I did some thinking.

It's time I made

some concrete plans.

Are you building a freeway

or proposing to the finest

catch in New York state?

Hello, young lady. Been

reading your articles.

It seems you've been

tripping all over the world,

enjoying yourself at our expense.

Well, I'd like to think you're

getting your money's worth.

Hi, Dad.

You got a kiss for the old man?

Thank God you're home safe.

Have you told Sue about Sunday?

Oh, I was just about to.

You're coming out to the weekend

house for a welcome home dinner.

But, right now, I want

Richard to explain

how he runs this newspaper

better than I do

when I'm away.

By all means, bring along

this, uh, Crocodile Dundee.

Him, I've got to meet.

I thought you said your

dad sells newspapers.

Oh, well...

He sells a lot of newspapers.

Thank you, Gus.

Oh, hell. The dogs are out.

Mick.

Nice to see you again,

Miss. Mr. Mason.

Good to see you looking

so fit and well.

Simpson, Mr. Dundee.

Nice to meet you, Simo.

Call me Mick.

Mick.

Ahem. Your father's

expecting you, Miss.

He's waiting with his

guests in the lounge.

Oh, excuse me.

- Hi, pumpkin.

- Hi, Dad.

- Richard.

- Good to see you.

And this of course is Mr. Dundee.

Yep.

I believe I'm deeply in your debt

for saving my daughter's life.

Well, um... Buy me a cold beer,

and we'll call it quits.

Nice joint you got here.

Well, it keeps the

rain off our heads.

Come. I want you to

meet some people.

Patricia, a drink for Mr. Dundee.

Oh, my God, look who's here.

- My Dawn.

- How are you?

Dorothy and Wendell

Wainwright. From Australia.

- Oh.

- Nice to meet you, Wendell.

Mick. Have a drink.

Thank you.

Are you involved in

cattle, Mr. Dundee?

Yeah. Mostly buffaloes.

- Oh.

- Do you breed them?

No, I just toss them.

And how are you finding New York?

- Bit of a lunatic asylum, eh?

- Oh.

That's why I love it,

'cause I fit right in.

if you'll excuse me, I'd like Mick

to say hello to Senator Manly.

That's a good idea.

- It was nice meeting you.

- See you later.

Seems like a personable fellow.

What a strange gentleman.

Nice people.

Dorothy's fine now, but she

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