Crossing The Bridge Page #5

To send to the TV guys to show how I write.

I happen to know what I'm doing. Hey, mort.

Anyone ever tell you

you kinda look like gilligan?

I think we should make the border run.

Anderson made us an offer

and I think we should take it.

It's a good run and I wanna make it.

What's the problem, Tim? Nothin'.

You always say...

That you want to do

something, Tim, don't you?

Well, here's something to do,

something different.

Mort?

F*** you, mort.

You in or not, Tim? Yes or no.

I want an answer right now.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm in. Good.

Fine.

Last chance, mort.

Good, mort.

You stay here.

More money for me and Tim.

Besides, maybe when I'm up there I'll pay a

little visit to your friend, Carol brockton.

Give her a little hand with her homework.

Good.

We'll go tomorrow.

A tie? You're wearing a tie to a border run?

I told you I'm gonna stop

and see Carol, Danny.

And I thought I was troubled.

Come on, Tim. Get in back. I got shotgun.

I called it last night.

Get in back.

Come on, Tim. I got a tie on. Get in back!

Tim, look.

Look at me, okay?

Look at me.

Now look at you.

Okay, get in back.

Get in, mort.

Now, muhammad was the first...

Historically-effective reformer

amongst the arabs...

And proclaimed his teachings to be...

An intimate concern to all.

Rejecting the polytheistic

notion of religion,

muhammad would retire to the caverns

in the mountains near mecca.

There he felt the call of God...

Bidding him to go amongst his people.

It was in these visions that he gained

the drive to warn and exhort his people.

Hey, mort. There she is.

No sh*t.

Well, get her attention.

We don't have all semester.

Would you shut up?

Shut up.

Muhammad was not solely ad...

Brockton!

Shut up.

Adherence to the traditions...

Was not solely...

Carol brockton.

- Adherence to the traditions...

- Turn around.

Was not solely an act of...

Danny, will you shut him up? You, sir!

Me?

Yes, you.

Why don't you stand up and tell everyone

what the five pillars of islam are?

There are five pillars to the

five pillars of islam, ma'am.

Yes, that much we know.

But what are they exactly?

Exactly?

Okay.

One is that there is no God but Allah.

Go on.

The second one is that they pray...

Five times a day.

Third?

Third is that they have to give

some of their income to charity.

I believe, now correct me if I'm

wrong, ma'am, they call it almsgiving.

Four, the fast of ramadan.

And the last one, but

certainly not the least one,

is that once in a Muslim's life, he's

got to make a pilgrimage to mecca.

Thank you, sir.

I see some of us have done the readings.

Adherence to the traditions

of the prophet muhammad...

how the hell did he know that?

Just stuff you pick up

watching a lot of "jeopardy."

You guys just hang on a second, okay?

Wow, so this is where you live?

Yep, that's my window right

there next to the statue.

Wow, it's nice.

So, now, tell me what it is you

guys are doing up here again?

You're delivering some art?

Yeah, we're pickin' up some real rare art.

Look, Carol,

what I wanted to tell you

the other night is,

I'm not gonna bother you anymore.

Mort, you don't bother me.

You never did.

Well, I'm not gonna write you

any more letters either.

We'll just be friends, okay?

I mean, look, you got a life.

You got a boyfriend.

I kinda got a life.

Let's just leave it at that.

God, I just wish

you didn't smell so damn good.

Got 'im!

Let's go!

What are you guys doin'? Put

me down, you f***ing d*ckheads!

Bye, Carol.

Good seeing you!

Let's just see how much is in here.

Put it back, Tim.

What the hell.

I just want to see how much Anderson's

ripping us off. What do you care?

We made a deal for nine grand.

Now put it back.

I just want to look at it.

Come on, Tim, they're gonna know it was

picked open. You're just lookin' for trouble.

Take the case, mort.

Pull over, Danny.

I wanna kick mort's ass.

Yeah, right.

What would you do, mort, if you

ever had to get in a fight...

Without one of us to back you up?

Write 'em an episode of "gilligan's island"?

Why don't you just turn around

and leave him alone, Tim?

Just leave him alone.

Dick.

Forget about her, mort.

She dumped you!

Come on, Danny. We got the time to kill.

I'm just asking you for a favor.

He wants to go see brockton again.

Poor little f***er.

You guys, I have to, okay? I mean it.

You guys made an ass of me back there.

I have to go back, okay?

This is a must.

I won't take no for an answer.

I cannot take no for an answer.

The answer's no, mort.

Please?

This is great. We're gonna be

late for our 1st big drug deal.

I hope he falls and breaks his ass.

You can't break an ass, Tim. Start thinking

about some of the things you say, please.

I think about things.

You can break an ass.

Mort?

What's going on?

Carol!

I was just gonna come up...

get out, mort.

Carol, it's not what you think...

I don't care. Get out.

I just have something to say

and then I'll leave.

Look, that thing

that we had two summers ago,

I never really got over you.

That's why I wrote you

all those stupid letters.

And then seeing you again last week,

I just thought maybe there could

be something between us again.

I've fought it, Carol,

believe me, I really have.

But I'm really still in love with you.

I'm scared I'm always gonna be too.

Other than me,

you're the only other person I know

our age who likes Tony Bennett.

Tony Bennett's kids don't

even like Tony Bennett.

I do.

But...

Don't you have to go somewhere

to be a writer, though?

I mean like, these guys,

they live in...

California.

Like the guys who write

"rhoda," for instance...

where do they live?

"Rhoda"?

Yeah.

God.

"Rhoda" I don't know about, Carol.

Other shows I know a lot about.

But, "rhoda," I'm drawing blanks.

I don't know.

Mort, I'm serious.

I don't know.

Maybe California, maybe New York.

I guess most of the stuff's

probably written in L.A.

Not written in Michigan, that's for sure.

God.

You smell so good.

It's okay.

Thank you.

Go be a writer.

Okay, Tim, you take in the case.

Mort, just keep your eyes open and look

like you know what you're doing, okay?

Let's go.

Well, what do we have here?

- Nice little college boys.

- You wish.

Big tough college boy with

his big tough college jacket.

Yeah, look. One of 'em

even wore a tie.

Go get somethin' on.

Look at you.

We have company here.

Which one's, Danny?

That's me.

Put it here.

Hey, free, wasn't this f***-up

supposed to come alone?

- He was.

- The hell he was.

Our little boy, John, came through,

didn't he, Carlyle? Right on!

You see, you give someone the

opportunity to step up to the plate,

he hits a home run.

Must be a lot of hash in that tire.

Hell of a lot of hash.

It is hash, right?

The stuff is over there.

Put it in your trunk...

And take off.

We're not taking anything

until you tell us what it is.

What did he tell ya?

Did he tell ya it was hash?

If he told you it was hash, it was hash.

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