Cul-de-sac Page #2

Quick! Quick!

I'm coming, Albert! I'm coming!

Shh, shh, shh. He's a mad dog.

What are you waiting for?

Oh.

Uh, the tide's terribly tricky.

Get goin'!

I can't swim. Oh!

Come on!

Come on. Get in there.

Quick.

Hurry!

Now the other way.

Push.

- I can't hold it!

- Wait!

Hello?

Thank you.

- Hello?

- Hello. Mr. Katelbach, Dickie.

You stupid, mentally retarded

prick! Where the hell have you been?

- Now wait a minute.

- I waited all day for you and that other idiot!

But listen, Mr. Katelbach -

Now wait a minute.

- It ain't our fault!

- It must be!

Word of honor, governor.

We did our best.

I want to speak to Albie.

- To Albie?

- Ja. The idiot!

- Uh, he can't come to the phone.

- Can't come to the phone?

- What's the matter with him?

- He's-He's got indigestion.

He got it - He got it in the belly.

- How bad is he?

- Pretty bad.

- Uh, get a message to Doris.

- Boris?

Not "Boris." "Doris." His wife.

We lost the car, but we got another one.

- What?

- We lost the car, but we got another one.

What? You got another car now?

So why can't you get in the new car

and drive?

I can't drive it. I got a cramp in the arm.

- I got it in the arm.

- You got what in the arm?

- You know.

- All right. I see.

So you both got it.

Now listen. I'm gonna tell you

something, Dickie.

Wait a minute, Mr. Katelbach.

You're-You're - You're being unfair.

You're very unfair, Mr. Katelbach.

Give me a chance to explain.

We did our best.

Where the hell are you anyway?

Uh, in North -

We're in Northumberland.

- Just a minute.

- Whereabout in Northumberland?

Hey! Hey!

How early can we get through

by the beach?

Uh, 8:
00.

What's the name of this rock pile?

Rob Roy.

Lindisfarne Island, Northumberland.

What? Speak up!

Rob Roy!

Lindisfarne Island!

Northumberland!

Okay.

Stop it!

Rob Roy. Lindisfarne Island.

Northumberland.

Thank you, sir.

Practically a new car.

You okay, Albie?

I am... fed up.

Everything's all right. I got him on the phone.

He's coming to get us out of this.

Well, congratulations.

You made a charming mess

of my motorcar.

Amazing what thin stuff they use.

Thin or thick -

there's a good 50 guineas damages.

What's the idea of leaving your car

right here in the middle?

Well, great heavens!

I'm in my own grounds, aren't I?

In your own grounds.

How selfish can you get?

That's the sort of thing

that's ruining the country.

I'm right, ain't I, miss?

- Is your name Bee?

- What?

"Felix Bee."

Nah. Nah.

- We borrowed it.

- I'm fed up.

- "Borrowed," my ass.

- T-Teresa.

That's the sort of thing

which is ruining this country.

You see? She agrees with me.

I beg your pardon.

My wife said nothing of the kind.

It amounts to the same thing.

Indeed, it does not! My wife is talking

of something quite different.

Oh, I see.

His Lordship wishes to split hairs.

Quit gabbin'. Help me move him.

Oh, I'm sorry, Albie.

Hold on.

Dor - Doris!

Right here.

- You got a garage?

- What?

- Have you got a garage?

- No. My car sleeps outside.

I'd like to stash my car in a garage.

I'm sorry. I'm afraid you'll have to do

exactly the same as I do.

Ah. That's better.

But don't move me anymore.

- He should be put to bed.

- Don't move me anymore!

It's better lying on something hard.

- Get me a pillow.

- Oh.

- We must call a doctor.

- An ambulance you mean.

An ambulance?

You want an ambulance, Albie?

No.

You see? He don't want no ambulance.

Get me a blanket.

Not you.

I'm - I'm really very cold.

Fetch him his mink.

Get cracking.

That's right. Go ahead, get on with it.

- You're nuts! You're both nuts!

- That last piece and that piece.

That's it.

You brute! You bloody brute!

He was beautiful.

He could eat razor blades. No kiddin'.

Once, I seen him

take a nail as big as this...

and bang it through a table

with one blow of his fist.

Fantastic.

Another gorilla, like you.

You ain't English, are ya?

Continental, huh?

You got an accent.

You ain't British.

Well, you're not exactly

Anglo-Saxon yourself.

Snotty, huh?

I'm acting regular with you,

and you're acting snotty.

I'm regular with you, ain't I?

My-My wife is French.

All right.

In the meantime,

you smashed up my chicken house.

You tickle me pink with your chicken house.

It's all rotten anyhow.

If I'd been a man,

you wouldn't get away with this.

That's what you think.

You make me sick.

If you were a man, you would not let

this big creep insult me.

Nobody's insulting you, sweetie pie.

Your coffee's ready.

Oh. It's getting late.

Beddy-bye time.

We all gotta get up early

tomorrow morning...

'cause I'm expecting some guests.

And you better give us

some real good coffee -

here, not on the terrace.

I hope you're in a better mood

tomorrow morning, miss - madam.

Not everybody has my sweet nature.

I don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings,

but this dump is a little... unusual.

Is this your family's mansion, like?

Or did you buy it yourself?

Well, everybody to his own taste

is what I always say.

Hmm. Very tastefully arranged.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Very nice.

Mmm. Beautiful dresses.

Milady's finery.

Ah. What a beautiful... somethin'.

What is it?

- Is that the, uh -

- Yes.

Richard!

Very classy. Pardon me.

Richard!

Richard!

Like, quiet, Albie. I'm here.

He's mad - He's mad at us, isn't he?

He told me I was mentally... retiring,

or something like that.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

He's angry with us, isn't he?

- He gave me hell.

- He was right.

It's very unfair.

We messed up the whole job.

We did our best.

He doesn't love us anymore.

Now cut the blower.

He treated me like dirt.

Cut the wire, I say!

Don't worry. I got the both of them

locked up upstairs in their pad.

He could skip by the window.

- Who?

- The queer.

- Are you kidding? He's scared to death.

- Do as I say.

I've done it already.

- Well, why didn't you tell me?

- I'm telling you now, damn it!

- I looked just great like that, didn't I?

-

He's a madman.

He's a dangerous madman.

For heaven's sake, don't push him too far.

And forget about your chicken house.

At the very moment when you

shouldn't worry about your chickens,

you start to take an interest in them.

Don't you understand that these men

are criminals, for heaven's sake?

They're killers. They're -

The slightest pretext.

The newspapers

are full of stories like this.

They-They -

They kill. They shoot to kill.

They're... thugs.

Can't you get that into your head?

Do you understand me?

Stop that music

and answer my question.

- What time is it?

- Answer my question!

Do you understand? Blast it!

Sure I understand.

I understand that you are not a man.

You let that big creep insult me

without saying a word.

You, the big war hero.

That's nothing to do with it.

I was in the tanks.

- You told me the cavalry.

- The armored cavalry.

- What's that?

- Never mind.

This fellow wouldn't frighten me

if we were both equally armed.

Oh, I know!

You're goading me, aren't you?

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