Curse of the Pink Panther Page #2

Right, Charlie.

I thought you didn't smoke.

I think it kinda goes with the look.

Thanks.

I don't believe it!

He's gonna blow their cover!

That's a nasty cough you got there, lady.

You shouldn't oughtta be smoking.

I lost a contact lens.

What?

I lost a lens.

I'll look for it later.

Can we just do with one?

I can't see without it,

and it cost me 85 bucks!

I'll lend you the money, for God's sake.

Oh, my... I found it.

Get it. Come on, let's go.

Well...

See you later.

He's gonna blow it.

He's gonna blow it.

Stay with him.

Don't forget the guys we're after

put a little old lady in the hospital.

I can't believe the lieutenant

would let a screw-up like Sleigh

work this kind of stakeout.

The lieutenant's been

under a lot of pressure lately.

Yeah? What kind of pressure?

Sleigh.

He's been driving the lieutenant bananas.

Maybe he hopes Sleigh will

end up like the little old lady.

Come on.

To tell you the truth, that thought

has passed through my mind.

Stop! Stop! Back up, back up, back up!

Stop! Stop! Go forward. Go forward.

Now, stop!

Hi there, beautiful.

Pardon me, I...

I feel that I know you.

Are you by any chance...

Sheila Swanhill from Petoskey, Michigan?

Well, if not...

Are you her sister,

or in any way related

to the Swanhill family?

Obviously not. If you were,

you would have recognized me by now.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Harley Hamilcar Ill.

I'm in cement.

Did you know that Petoskey

is the cement capital of the world?

Some drunk's trying to pick him up.

She had a cousin named...

Lindtrude.

My name's Derina.

Derina!

You have a lovely voice.

You do

Something to me

Something that

Simply mystifies me

Tell me

Why should it be

You have the power to hypnotize me?

It's getting out of hand.

...live 'neath your spell

Do do that voodoo that you do so well

What are you doing to me?

A real hooker's just joined the party.

What's all this dancing around?

I'm going in.

Not only did you screw up the stakeout,

but another little old lady was mugged.

To make matters worse,

we're the laughing stock

of the whole 28th Precinct,

and by the time those crumbs

get through spreading it around town,

we'll be the laughing stock

of the whole goddamn

New York City police force!

- With all due respect...

- What respect?

What do you know about respect?

You sure as hell don't respect me!

Oh, yes, I do.

I got an ulcer, I'm losing my hair,

and you're driving me

straight to the funny farm!

You call that respect?

What happened tonight

was not entirely my fault.

Three years on the police force,

you don't know

how to handle a common drunk?

You had to be there.

Sleigh...

If it wasn't for the fact...

That you're

a third-generation police officer,

and that your father

was not only my captain

but my daughter's godfather

and a close personal friend

of nearly 20 years,

I'd have you back doing guard duty

at the public library!

I request no special attention

because of my family.

Don't tell me what you request!

I owe your old man!

Your grandfather talked me

into being a cop!

He used to walk

the toughest beat in Boston.

All he carried was a rolled-up newspaper!

He still carries it.

Until this came, I was a desperate man

faced with two choices...

Retirement or murdering you.

Gee, I don't know what to say.

Fortunately, you don't

have to say anything.

The Police Commissioner

said it for both of us.

Congratulations, Sleigh.

You're assigned to

special duty with Sret.

Sret? Me?

Paris, France?

There must be some mistake.

Oh, undoubtedly.

I trust you'll bring this error

to the Commissioner's attention.

I considered it.

But then I remembered

the immortal words of Theodore Doppler,

the Goose Bay Strangler,

whose death sentence

was commuted two minutes

before they pulled the switch.

"Never look a gift horse in the mouth."

Bon voyage, Sleigh.

My bag.

Hey, business is booming

since Clouseau disappeared, huh?

Yeah. My books show

an increase of 18% since February.

Gambling accounted for half a billion.

Nearly double last year.

You think that's good?

Wait'll you hear the rundown

on drugs and prostitution.

Hold it a second.

It don't take a genius to know

that when Clouseau isn't around,

business flourishes.

Still hard to believe.

You ever meet the guy?

Yeah, I met him once.

He acted like a real idiot.

Facts are facts.

If this American detective

is as good as they say he is,

we're gonna have Clouseau

right back in our laps.

Maybe Clouseau isn't just missing.

Yeah. Maybe he's dead.

Can't take that chance.

So what do we do?

We get rid of the American.

I'll call Galucci in Chicago,

have him put out a contract.

Trans World Airlines

StarStream, Flight 24...

For Chicago and Dayton...

Will depart from Gate 39.

Passengers may proceed to the gate area

for check-in.

Trans World Airlines

StarStream, Flight 24...

For Chicago and Dayton...

Will depart from Gate 39.

Passengers may proceed to the gate area

for check-in.

Excuse me, please, but where I check in?

- Check in?

- Check in.

Right over there.

How did it happen?

We don't know. He fell from a balcony.

Never got a shot at him.

When does this Sergeant Sleigh land?

11:
20 tomorrow morning. TWA.

- You want us to hit him at the airport?

- Right.

Ray, this time no slip-ups.

It's very nice to see you.

We've been waiting for you.

Yes, Commissioner?

Yes, quite remarkable.

It seems the computer certainly picked

the right man for the job.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

Yes?

Detective Sleigh has arrived.

Show him in.

Detective Sergeant Clifton Sleigh.

How is he, Doctor?

He'll be here for a few weeks,

but he's very lucky.

We just got him in time.

He could have choked to death

on that goldfish.

Can I see him?

Yes, but don't stay too long.

He's very tired.

Hello.

I won't stay long.

I wish I could say the same.

Is there anything I can do for you?

Are you in much pain?

My leg hurts, but my throat is killing me.

You nearly choked to death on a goldfish.

Where is he?

I don't know. I don't think they kept it.

Not the fish! Detective Sleigh!

He waited around

until he heard you were all right,

then he went over to

Clouseau's apartment.

But he said he'd be back

to see you this evening.

Wonderful.

He said he wanted to make it up to you

by solving the case as quickly as possible.

You know, Franois,

I have a horrible feeling

we are seeing history repeat itself.

What do you mean?

When they were pulling out the goldfish,

I remember thinking,

"Did Clouseau have

any relatives in the States?"

You mean... Oh, but that's impossible.

You programmed the computer yourself.

Compared to me, I'm afraid,

Baron Frankenstein was a quack.

Oh, God! Oh, God!

Inspector Clouseau Museum.

This is Balls. Is this Cato?

No. This is Sumo the night janitor.

Mr. Cato is in South America.

- Merde!

- I am not giving you any merde.

Where's the money?

I don't know anything

about any money he owes you.

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