Curse of the Pink Panther Page #6

- Really?

- Yes.

- Gosh, that's terrific!

- I go there every year.

Charles won't try it. He was

in the infantry... You know, all that mud.

Mud?

Well, how'd I do?

Not bad. I just beat you.

Sure you won't have a pineapple?

Okay.

Thank you, Countess. I'm very grateful.

It's been my pleasure.

We have a problem.

Julie's in the hospital.

The man who Chief Vigila says shot her

with the tranquilizing dart has escaped.

Chief Vigila claims the man

was impersonating Sergeant Sleigh.

Doesn't make sense.

Julie knew what Sleigh looked like.

Sometimes it is possible

to look like one person,

but actually be another.

My God!

It's fantastic!

Oh, darling!

Don't kiss him too hard.

His lips might fall off.

What?

Just a little surgical humor.

Here, have a look.

Happy?

Is that the Litton yacht?

You can't see the spa from here.

It's about a quarter of a mile inland.

Sure would like to case the layout.

That won't be easy.

Have you tried that?

No. It looks like fun.

No, looks like suicide.

Oh, no!

Are you all right?

Yes. Yes, I think I am, thank you.

I'm Countess Chandra.

Sergeant Sleigh.

- Lucky you landed in the mud.

- Yes. It's hot mud.

Volcanic. It's good for the skin.

Doesn't do much for the clothes, I'm afraid.

- Would you like to rinse off?

- Yes, I think I would.

This way.

Straight ahead. To your left.

Big step.

I'll get you a towel.

I'm investigating

the disappearance of Inspector Clouseau.

You just missed Chief Vigila.

He says you're an imposter.

Oh, he does, does he? Well, I'm not.

And I want some answers.

Julie Morgan, also known as

Juleta Shane, knows who I am.

I'm so glad Julie's going to be all right.

How bizarre! A tranquilizing dart!

Who do you think shot her?

I thought you might know.

- Why me?

- She works for you.

Lots of people work for me.

What Julie does in her own time

is her own business.

My God.

Yes... I know that.

You!

Yes, it is me.

I'm just checking the bar

for the bar fleas, you know.

Swine step!

You really should do something

about your architect,

you know, my darling.

- Darling?

- Yes, my darling?

You're smoking the wrong end.

Yes, I know that.

You don't have to tell me

I'm smoking the wrong end.

Do you know why

I am smoking the wrong end?

No, darling, but I'm sure

you've got a very good reason.

Right.

I am smoking the wrong end

because I have a very good reason.

Are you all right?

Yes, of course I'm all right.

I'm examining the roof.

Can I give you a hand?

Thank you.

Obviously you are not a smoker.

I'm sorry.

Do you realize you are

wearing my ice bucket?

I'm sorry. It's stuck.

Yes, well, that is no problem.

I am an expert in these matters.

Bend down.

Bend over.

Here, let me help.

Yes, it is a question of leverage.

Yes, that is better.

It goes with the suit, you know.

Oh, by the way, we have not

been properly introduced.

You of course know who I am?

Sergeant Sleigh.

No, I am not Sergeant Sleigh.

No, I am Sergeant Sleigh.

Oh, yes. Now we are getting somewhere.

- Shall we all have a drink?

- An excellent idea.

I will have my usual.

A Kahla and root beer.

I'll just have the root beer.

You do not know what you are missing.

It is a combination

that makes a real thirst-quencher.

I'm a teetotaler.

You total the tea.

I thought you were a police sergeant.

I am. Before I left New York,

I read you were making another movie.

He had two weeks off.

Yes, I have two weeks off, you know,

and when I have the time,

I come here to take the waters.

Very cleansing.

I enjoy a good cleanse.

I'm afraid there's no more ice.

That's okay.

Well, here's to

your investigation, Sergeant.

To Inspector Clouseau.

Chief Inspector.

That felt good.

Have you ever seen this man before?

No, I have never seen this man

before in my life. Never.

- It's Inspector Clouseau.

- Chief Inspector.

- That's Inspector Clouseau?

- Chief Inspector!

Do you know him?

- Yes!

- What?

Well, he came here about a year ago,

but he said his name was Gino Rossi.

He wanted the name

of a good plastic surgeon,

so I recommended

Dr. Prosper Stang, of Madrid.

Well...

Guess that just about does it.

It does?

Yes. There is one more thing, though.

Could I have your autograph?

It's for my grandfather.

- Hello, oui.

- Hello, Franois.

Oh, it's you!

Good afternoon. Where are you?

I am in agony.

I want you to arrange for a hospital plane

to carry me back to Paris immediately!

And ask my psychiatrist

if he can see me five days a week,

twice a day!

Have you heard from Sergeant Sleigh?

He called about five minutes ago

from a health spa.

Health spa?

Oui. He asked me to check on

a man named Gino Rossi,

then he said he was leaving for Madrid,

to question a plastic surgeon named Stang.

Yes, well, good-bye, Sergeant,

and don't be a stranger, huh?

- Thank you.

- See you at the movies, huh?

Yes.

Cheerio.

Did that swine architect of yours

move that door by any chance?

There goes the last of our problems.

- Yes.

- Come on.

Where are we going?

Let's celebrate.

I haven't seen it for such a long time.

Well, I have not been too well, you know?

Not that! The Pink Panther!

I was just checking.

Oh, my God!

It's gone!

Swine Phantom!

I interrogated Dr. Stang,

who admitted that he had operated

on Clouseau's face.

This is what he looked like

after the operation.

He stole the Pink Panther,

had his face changed,

and then called himself Gino Rossi.

And you are sure he's dead?

- Well, according to...

- The Valencia...

Go ahead.

- You wanted to say something?

- No, no. After you.

- You're sure?

- Yes, please.

All I wanted to say is that

the Valencia police

identified the man in the photograph

as a John Doe who had been shot,

and whose corpse was found

washed up on the beach.

Obviously killed for the diamond.

Obviously.

Should we have the body exhumed,

just to make sure?

No.

I have compared Clouseau's fingerprints

with those of the dead man,

and they are identical.

Oh, yes. There is no doubt

that Clouseau is dead.

A good cop gone bad.

Yes, well...

You've certainly proved

that you are a good cop, Sergeant,

a credit to the profession.

On behalf of the President

and the people of France,

I congratulate you. Good-bye.

Thank you, sir.

Good-bye.

Good-bye, Mr. Rossi,

alias Chief Inspector Clouseau.

Peace at last!

Well, bon voyage, Sergeant. Well done.

- You should come again sometime.

- Thank you.

Help! Help!

I'm burning! Hurry up!

Get the hose!

The hose!

There!

Hurry up! Pull!

Help!

Help! Hurry up!

Hit the water!

Help!

Check.

Mate!

Beautiful.

Do you recommend Countess Chandra's?

Definitely. In fact, I'd love to

go back there and spend more time.

By the way, I seem to be missing a glove.

"Always leave something

for something," is my motto.

What's yours?

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

I'll drink to that.

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