Curse of the Pink Panther Page #5

- Yes.

- Have you got a table?

- Yes.

Would you mind being

my Instant Companion?

Your instant what?

Look, normally I wouldn't impose,

but my other one blew up.

I'll explain everything to you on the way.

Where's your table?

- Do you see them?

- No.

Well, if you see them, kiss me.

Kiss you?

Well, they're not looking for a couple.

That's the Instant Companion theory.

Do you know Professor Balls?

Who?

Professor Balls.

- Do you see them?

- One of 'em.

- Where?

- Over by the door.

Don't see him now.

Strange. He's gone.

Are you sure you saw them?

Of course. That's why I kissed you.

Of course.

Wait a minute.

You don't think I pretended

to see that guy just so I could kiss you!

The thought did occur to me.

There he is again!

- Do you see him?

- He's gone.

I don't believe it.

I saw him both times.

You don't believe me, do you?

Does it matter?

Well, whether you saw the man or not,

I quite enjoyed it.

- You did?

- Didn't you?

Well, now that you mention it, I guess I did.

Well?

Think I see him again.

Good.

See what I mean?

I certainly do.

I'm kissing you,

and I don't even know your name.

Don't worry about it, sweetheart.

You're kissing a dead duck.

Garbage!

Look, she doesn't have

anything to do with this.

That's a shame.

Excuse me.

Listen, I still don't know your name.

Clifton.

Catch me, I'm gonna faint.

I'm coming!

I'm going!

Don't worry about a thing.

I've got these guys just where I want 'em.

Look out!

Oh, no!

Now I'm mad!

Now I'm hurt!

Sweetheart, are you all right?

Come on, let's get out of here.

Clifton!

Oh, boy.

Oh, no!

Wait. This way.

- Why?

- I have to see the chief of police.

- No!

- Why not?

I can't explain.

Good-bye, Clifton.

Hello?

He hasn't shown up yet.

He just went into the hotel.

I'll be there. Ten minutes.

Good.

Yes, this is Sergeant Sleigh in Room 311.

Can you tell me the name of

the young lady in Room 310?

- Juleta Shane.

- Thank you very much.

I knocked on your door.

I told the bellboy I was your sister.

I don't think he believed me.

Did I wake you?

No, why?

Well, you're wearing my pajamas.

Only the top.

Does it bother you?

No.

I charged the champagne to your room.

I hope you don't mind.

I don't mind at all.

Here's to the rest of the night

with an option on tomorrow.

I can't stay.

See, I had a very important meeting

with the chief of police...

I couldn't let you just run off like that.

I had to find you.

But... Now that I have found you,

I have to keep that meeting.

I'm a...

I'm a police officer.

Police.

And I'm working on a case,

a very important case,

and I think I'm getting close to the answer.

I think that's why those men were...

Were trying to kill me tonight.

By the way, where did you

learn to fight like that?

I was raised in the East End of London,

where you had to learn how to fight

if you wanted to keep your integrity.

I'll be back as soon as I can.

I won't be here.

Why not?

Because I won't.

I'm touchy about throwing myself

at a man and then being rejected.

But I'm not rejecting you.

- Then stay.

- I can't.

But I want you.

Oh, God.

Now.

Couldn't you just hold out for

maybe half an hour?

No.

Twenty-five minutes. I'll run.

I can't wait.

But you don't understand.

This is my big chance.

Don't blow it.

No, I mean to prove once and for all

that I'm a good cop.

And I want you to prove it too.

I mean, to my family...

To Lieutenant Palmyra

and the 28th Precinct...

My goofy grandfather

and his rolled-up newspaper,

and my father's medals,

and his citation from the governor

for bravery.

You don't understand.

Oh, my God, I sound like Stan Laurel.

I've got to go.

I hope you're here when I get back.

What?

Here's to being here when you get back.

I'll drink to that.

What's wrong? Juleta?

Oh, my God.

Get a doctor! It's an emergency!

Room 311. And send the police!

Probably a powerful tranquilizer.

She'll recover,

but she'll be unconscious for hours.

I recognize her.

She's the Countess Chandra's

personal secretary.

Her name's Juleta Shane.

Her name is Julie Morgan.

She has been with the Countess

for seven years.

- Who's this Countess...

- I ask the questions, seor Sleigh.

Sergeant Sleigh.

Is that "Slay," as in "kill"?

No, it's "Sleigh," as in "one-horse open."

Why did you shoot her?

I didn't. I'm a New York City

police officer working with the Sret.

Yes, investigating the Clouseau case.

Yes, they said you would say this.

- You have my identification.

- Excellent forgeries.

Look, I can clear this up

with one phone call.

After you have answered some questions.

I've told you everything.

Bring him along.

What kind of tranquilizer is it?

I don't know.

Come on.

Get out of the way!

Hey, come on! Move, move!

I'm a police officer! I'm a police officer!

Hey, come on! Move! Move it!

Hey, what are you doing?

After him! After him!

Move!

Fool, you've lost him! This way!

Good evening, Sergeant.

Hello, Mr. Litton.

Can I give you a lift?

As a matter of fact, yes.

Hop in.

Good morning, George.

Look what I found.

Sergeant, you're up early.

I haven't been to bed yet.

Come aboard.

Well. You look like

you need some breakfast.

Have a little pineapple or something.

Darling, you remember Sergeant Sleigh.

Of course I do.

- Hello, do sit down.

- Thank you.

- Would you like a cup of coffee?

- Oh, yes, please.

- I'll get that.

- Thank you.

Obviously, those are not your handcuffs,

so you don't have a key.

Darling, may I borrow your manicure set?

- Oh, yes, darling.

- Thank you so much.

I'll time you on that, Uncle Charles.

All right. This should do it.

- Here you are.

- Thank you.

I feel I owe you an explanation.

You see, there was this young lady

who said her name was Juleta Shane.

Juleta. What a pretty name.

Yes, but her real name was Julie Morgan.

- I know a Julie Morgan.

- Didn't she work for Countess Chandra?

Yes.

Twelve seconds, Uncle Charles.

Oh, stop, George. That's not fair.

You're rushing him.

Yes. Don't rattle me, George.

Anyway, somebody shot her.

No.

- With a dart.

- With a dart?

- A tranquilizer.

- Imagine.

Oh, my God, it's beyond me.

Yes. It was somebody

in one of those big heads.

Big heads?

Yes, they had an air gun,

and just as we were about to

drink some champagne...

Pop! Right in the back of the neck.

- Right.

- There we are.

28 seconds, Uncle Charles.

You're getting a little rusty.

Well, all right, George.

You try the other one.

- All right.

- I'll time you.

- Terrific.

- Ready? Go.

I really appreciate this.

And you're not aiding

and abetting a criminal.

Thank God for that.

- You see, I was falsely accused.

- Of course.

And now it's imperative

I find this Countess Chandra.

Didn't she own an exclusive

health spa in Majorca?

- Still does.

- Ten seconds, George.

Don't rattle me.

Majorca. I've got to get to Majorca.

We're going there, on our way.

And we'll be very happy to give you a lift.

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