Curse of the Pink Panther Page #4

Really?

What about a drink, Sergeant?

Oh, no, thank you.

Darling, the Sergeant's on duty.

It's not that.

Then what about a nice cup of tea?

Actually, it's a lot better

for you than coffee.

It's got about

half the amount of caffeine in it.

I'm sure that's true, but I'd simply die

without my morning cup of coffee.

Anyway, what were you saying, Sergeant?

I...

You were saying about the investigation

of Inspector Clouseau.

Yes.

Allow me, sir.

You wanted to know

if Clouseau questioned me

about the theft of the Pink Panther.

- Yes.

- Yes.

He questioned me.

He did?

Oh, yes. He questioned me

three days after the robbery,

on the third of August,

to be precise, at 1:15.

He stayed for lunch.

And fell in the pool.

But why in the world would he think

that you would know anything

about the theft of the Pink Panther?

Oh, come on, George.

I mean, I'm sure the sergeant

is totally up-to-date

on my somewhat checkered career.

Right, Sergeant?

I mean, after all,

a man who for almost 30 years

has been thought to be

the notorious Phantom,

the cleverest jewel thief in all of Europe.

But Uncle Charles, it was never proven

that you were the Phantom.

No, nor that you took over where I left off.

But, George, you can understand

why he was suspicious

and why he wanted to question me.

Oh, sure.

And then, when he was satisfied

that I was completely innocent

and couldn't possibly have had

anything to do with it...

Because we were in Barbados

with George at the time of the robbery.

...then Inspector Clouseau

took off for Valencia.

Valencia?

Well, that leaves me

with just one question.

You said Valencia?

It's in Spain.

That Valencia!

Thank you very much.

Good-bye.

- Good-bye.

- Sir Charles.

Lady Litton.

He fell in the pool!

You're kidding.

You're sure you don't want

a bathrobe or something?

Oh, no. I've been enough trouble.

It's a warm day.

I can dry off on my way to Spain.

Well, good-bye, Sergeant.

Good-bye.

- Bye-bye, Sergeant.

- Bye-bye.

What do you think he'll find in Valencia?

Not very much,

unless he gets his glasses fixed.

Take me to the nearest hotel.

I thought you spoke English.

Check.

Don't get too close.

That's him.

Holy merde!

I'm allez-ing as fast as I can, man!

You said you didn't speak any English!

Don't you know that French cab drivers

are notoriously unreliable?

You sound like an American to me.

Pick, pick, pick.

Damn! Who the hell's trying to kill you?

I don't know!

Maybe they're trying to kill me!

Who do I know that wants to kill me?

No, it couldn't be my wife.

She doesn't drive.

Well, whoever it is,

you've got to try and lose 'em!

When somebody's shooting at you,

you gotta do better than try!

Come on, come on, come on...

Yes.

Something to eat?

No.

Beer, please.

Deux beers, s'il vous plat.

Lovely here, isn't it?

It's a filthy habit.

Another?

No. Let's go.

Let's go, Shirley. Come on.

No, I can't.

Come on. Let's go.

Say good-bye.

Bye-bye.

What? You want to get a room here?

You do?

- I speak English.

- Good. Do you have a room?

For how many persons?

Just me and the little woman.

How long are you planning to stay?

Just... One night.

200 francs. Checkout time is 10:00 a.m.

Told you not to mix your drinks.

The bridal suite.

- Do we have a bridal suite?

- We have now.

Have a pleasant stay...

Mr. Smith.

Thank you.

Shirley! I'm sorry.

Yes, this is Monsieur Smith.

I would like to make a call to Paris.

St. Mary's Hospital.

- Paris?

- Yes.

- St. Mary's Hospital.

- Chief Inspector Dreyfus.

- Chief Inspector Dreyfus.

- And it's important!

Oui, Monsieur Smith.

- Hurry!

- Right away.

Excuse me.

I'm interested in Monsieur Smith.

Yes?

Hello, this is Sergeant Sleigh.

Oh, yes. Where the devil are you?

I don't know the name of the hotel...

But somebody's following me.

They tried to shoot me on the way to Nice.

Oh, my God. Hold on, I'll be right with you.

Hold on a sec. I've got to put the cork in.

What cork?

What do you mean? Hello?

Hello? Are you there?

Hello!

Why don't you answer?

I'm sorry, but things are

getting a little out of hand.

Now, where were we?

Yes, the location of the hotel.

Well, it's in the...

South of France...

And it's on a small street...

Look, I don't know what the point of this is,

because even if I knew where I was,

you're there, and I'm...

- I'm dizzy.

- Dizzy?

- I'm really dizzy.

- Why are you dizzy?

Must be the gas.

Gas? Why don't you open the window?

That's a good idea.

That's better.

Hello?

Are you there?

The explosion severely

traumatized your left eardrum,

but if you are careful

and avoid all loud noises,

partial hearing should be

restored in a few days.

What about the ringing?

I'm afraid that might take longer.

It's very loud.

I keep wanting to answer the telephone.

Just take the medicine I prescribe

and plenty of rest.

All right. Thank you, Doctor.

What if I can't distinguish the difference

between the ringing in my ear

and the phone?

That could be a problem.

What?

It may not last much longer.

I couldn't stand it if it did.

Where is Sleigh?

On his way to Valencia.

Valencia?

A tip, from Sir Charles.

There! It's getting worse!

He just checked in.

Very convenient. Right down the hall. 311.

Not in the hotel.

When he goes out tonight,

all those fireworks out there,

nobody's gonna notice a little shooting.

We can't miss.

Yeah. But just to make sure,

I've hired a backup.

Mr. Chong.

Who the hell is Mr. Chong?

He's a ninja,

the most powerful human

killing machine in the world.

Visualize energy as a gathering storm.

It flows to the hand.

The hand consigns it to the primary object.

As the primary object is destroyed,

it is consigned to the secondary object,

and so on...

Like an atomic chain reaction.

I will demonstrate.

We have a problem.

Sergeant Sleigh has arrived in Valencia.

I understand.

One moment.

Sergeant Sleigh wishes to speak with you.

He's here?

No, he's on the other line.

Tell him I'll be right with him.

Listen, he's just called.

I've got him holding on the other line.

- Not a word!

- Of course.

Hello.

Chief Vigila here.

What can I do for you, Sergeant?

I'm investigating

the disappearance of Inspector Clouseau.

What?

Wait a minute. I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

I'm gonna close the window.

What?

I'm going to close the window.

What?

What are you talking about?

Okay, I closed it.

Thank you for your cooperation.

I'll be right over.

Will you hold him, please?

You should be ashamed of yourself,

young man.

Where's the police station?

Over there, by the palazzo.

Thank you!

Don't lose him!

Go around that way!

Come on!

Hi.

Hi. Hey, you're the girl from the elevator.

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Is anything the matter?

Look, you're not gonna believe this,

but some men are trying to kill me.

- You're right.

- I am?

I'm not gonna believe you.

No, seriously.

They were just shooting at me outside.

- Look, are you alone?

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