Daddy Day Care

Good morning, Daddy.

Hey, Ben, how you doing, man?

Oh, God.

Daddy's got to get ready for work.

Can't you stay home?

No. I got a real big day at work today.

Kim.

Where's my cell phone?

It's with my crayons.

It's not supposed to be with the crayons.

There you go, sweetie.

Okay, has anybody seen my beeper?

Here it is.

Right by the grape juice.

I wonder how it got there.

Are those my note cards

that I've been working all night on?

I've been up all night

and now they're all sticky.

- Sorry, baby.

- Yeah.

- Sorry.

- Yeah.

- Bye-bye.

- Yeah, I'll see you later.

- Don't forget about the orientation today.

- The what?

Chapman Academy? The preschool?

Okay. Right.

Is there any way we could reschedule that?

Maybe we shouldn't.

Maybe we should take care of business

and be responsible parents.

Don't worry.

- Don't be late.

- I will not be late.

Promise?

I won't be late.

See you later.

- He didn't promise.

- He sure didn't.

What's going on?

Your worst nightmare.

What?

Mr. Broccoli's a no-show.

He got a call-back

on a potato chip commercial.

- These snack foods are killing us!

- Yeah, I know.

Marvin!

Yeah?

The guy who smells the mail?

We need a guy to wear a broccoli suit,

not a normal guy.

Marvin, my man!

My friend, Marvin. What's going on today?

Listen, I need a favour.

We're having a focus group

and the broccoli guy left.

I was wondering if you'd put the suit on

and cover for us?

No.

I can't do the broccoli

because it's just not me. Sorry.

Can I be the carrot, though?

Yeah, you could be the carrot.

- Let him try your carrot on.

- No.

- You'll be the broccoli.

- I don't want to be a bush.

It's not a bush, it's a stalk.

A strong stalk of broccoli.

- I'm pretty strong.

- You can make that work.

Let's switch this suit and get the broccoli.

Trust me on this. Let's go.

B- R-O-C-C-O-L-I!

I am the broccoli and don't know why!

C-A-R-R-O and a T!

Carrots are healthy for you and me!

You want to do the dance?

Go Broccoli, it's your birthday!

- Go Carrot, go Carrot, go!

- No, I don't want to.

Hello, boys and girls!

Zowie! Do we have

a special treat for you today!

"Hey! We have a brand-new cereal!

"You're the first kid... "

Help!

It's super yummy.

- And loaded...

- Phil, help me.

...with all sorts of

stuff that's good for you.

And do you know what we call it?

Veggie-Os!

This cereal sucks!

They're turning on us.

Give it a chance. Let it get in their mouth.

They got to taste it.

Take that!

Help me, Charlie!

Not in the face! Save yourself, Carrot!

Call security now. Stop that!

I guess we better go in, Pooch.

Your daddy will come a little later.

Come here, let me see you.

I am so sorry, baby.

Things got crazy at work.

What's going on, man?

Look at this place.

It's Princeton for preschoolers.

Let's hurry up

so we won't be late for the orientation.

What's the orientation about?

It's a preschool,

they'll be playing with blocks, right?

Unbelievable.

Language skills are a critical component

here at Chapman.

They're part of our core curriculum.

You must be Charles.

- Call me Charlie. Nice to meet you.

- How do you do?

- This is my wife, Kim.

- Hi.

Kimberly. I'm Miss Harridan,

the headmistress.

And this is Ben.

How do you do, Benjamin?

- Come on, little man.

- It's a pleasure to meet you.

Shall we begin?

- Look at their outfits. I like that.

- They're cute.

We find uniforms reinforce

the sense of structure.

Structure's good.

Our philosophy is that

a child is like a climbing vine.

With structure to cling to,

and the right gardener to tend them...

they'll grow to the sky.

- Sorry.

- So, Mrs. Hinton...

you're returning to work?

Lawyer, I believe your file said.

Actually, I haven't practiced yet.

We just had Ben when I finished law school.

Still a little nervous about leaving him.

All mothers are. But you needn't worry.

Our little seedlings are in very good hands.

- Turn the darn phone off.

- It's off.

And attack!

Now mark your books, number five.

Cat is to mouse as frog is to...

Are they doing SAT prep?

It's never too early to start.

- Nest.

- That's right. Nest.

- I thought you turned your phone off.

- It's not my phone, it's my two-way.

This is bad.

Go ahead.

Okay. Thank you, baby.

I am terribly sorry.

I have an emergency at work. I gotta go.

- I understand.

- I'm sorry.

Hey, little man.

Daddy's got to get going,

but I'll see you later on, okay?

You want to do the rocket ship?

Let's do the rocket ship.

Sorry about all the noise.

Here you go. Go to Mummy.

I'll see you later. Thank you for your time.

I'm so sorry.

He's trying out a new product at work.

No need to apologise.

Diligence always sets a fine example.

Jenny. Just in time.

Here's a copy of our curriculum...

and a list of your financial obligations.

This is the price per year?

Per month.

- Ben is starting preschool today.

- Where at?

Over at that Chapman Academy.

The Marine Corps of day care.

Max goes there.

Really? What do you think of that place?

There isn't much choice.

You got Harridan and her merry fembots...

or Idiot von Idiot and their School

for Children Who Like Accidents.

Numbers just came in

for Chocolatey Chocolate Balls.

Through the roof!

That's a surprise. You hear that?

Kids like chocolate.

Ice cream, too.

I forgot I was talking to the granola-heads

from the natural food division.

What was the stinker you got saddled with?

It's not a stinker.

It's Veggie-Os, the cereal of the future.

Right, Veggie-blows.

I thought they were killing that.

Jerry!

The numbers on the Chocolatey Chocolate

Balls are through the roof!

What does he mean, "killing that"?

Why you listening to Bruce?

Nothing's being killed. He's a clown.

If something was going down, we'd know.

We're killing it.

Come on, Jim. We had one bad test.

It's a hard nut to crack.

Any fool can sell

Chocolatey Chocolate Balls...

and cotton candy-flavoured cereal to kids.

Cotton candy. That's not bad.

Guys, look. I'm sorry, but it was a dog.

Kids just don't want to eat vegetables

for breakfast. Who knew?

I told you that six months ago

when you put us on this project.

You did?

It's not just Veggie-Os.

We're shutting down

the whole health division.

That's like 300 people.

It's not a business we want to be in.

Where are we being reassigned?

Pooch, how was your first day at school?

Okay.

Just okay?

I don't know anybody there.

Give it some time. You'll make some friends.

How was your day, baby?

I lost my J-O-B.

You lost your J-O-B?

I got F-I-R-E-D.

Me and 300 other people.

They cannot do that!

- Can't Jim Fields do something?

- He's the one that pulled the trigger.

He's not gonna do anything.

When I found out it was him,

I told him to take a flying...

Charlie!

H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P.

Don't worry about this.

I'm in demand,

and I'll have a new job in a week.

What if we use the emergency fund?

We can't.

We already used it on the car payment.

There's no way around it.

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