Dames Page #5

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- Need you ask?

- All right.

Plumbing, huh?

Wind in the pipe, huh?

- There.

- Twenty-five thousand.

All that fuss over a mere trifle.

You take my last penny

and call it a trifle.

- W... Who is it?

- It's Mathilda.

My wife. Come on, get out here.

- No, I won't get out...

- Here. No, I...

If she catches you in here, I'm ruined.

Come on, get in this closet.

Why... Why, Mathilda. It's you.

I'm your wife, Mathilda. Remember?

I... I was nervous.

I couldn't sleep.

- So you've been to bed?

- Oh, yes, yes, you see? That's... That's it.

Since when do you go to bed

with your pants on?

Well, you see I...

Suddenly I had a heart attack.

Yes.

- You know.

- If I don't, I'll find out.

That's the bathroom.

What do you suppose I thought it was?

The Bank of England?

- W... Where you going now?

- You'll find out.

- Goodbye, fatty.

- Conspiracy. Conspiracy.

Well, only a few weeks more

and the $ 10 million is yours.

Providing you don't make me

change my mind.

Thank you, Ezra. Thank you very much.

You don't know

how generous you are, Ezra.

Now how about a bite of lunch?

Well, I do feel a bit peckish.

Oh, I know a real nice place

where we can get a healthful meal.

- Well, let's go there.

- Oh, yes.

Just a minute. Just a minute.

I found the first object for our

foundation to crush.

James Higgens is rehearsing a play on

Broadway entitled Sweet and Hot.

Just read that disgraceful item,

Horace. Read that.

"Sweet and Hot, Jimmy Higgens'

torrid musical comedy...

...springs from the fountain of youth.

Author, songwriters and actors

are all youngsters."

- Go on, go on.

- "Jimmy's backer is said to be...

...none other than a big businessman...

...who is very much interested

in the career of Mabel Anderson."

Well, it was horrible enough for Jimmy

to write such a terrible play...

...but any man who would

finance such an outrage...

...should be tarred and feathered.

The Ounce Foundation

shall run him out of town.

I myself shall give him

a scathing rebuke.

We'll attend the opening

of this production.

- And denounce it to the world.

- Will you excuse me?

A conference with a lot of big, sausage

casing men from Australia. See you tonight.

Not a word about our attitude

toward Sweet and Hot.

We must swoop down on them.

Oh, yes, Ezra, swoop down on them

like an eagle from the sky.

- Well, goodbye, Ezra.

- Goodbye, Horace.

- Goodbye, Mathilda.

- Goodbye, Horace.

You know Horace's heart and soul

is with the Ounce Foundation.

I know.

Say, that kid can dance.

Say, you'll do, kid. Go up

and get measured for costumes.

Oh, gee, thanks.

All right, girls, take it easy.

Say, that kid's got plenty of stuff.

Who is she?

I don't know. What name she give?

Joan Grey. Never heard of her.

She'll do till a better one comes along.

Okay.

All right, kids. Come on, places now.

Let's get set. Let's get started.

All right, Buttercup, hit it.

Hiya, pop.

Go away, go away.

Burn my clothes, if it isn't Romeo,

our financial backer.

I wonder what's on his mind. Come on.

- Well, well, Uncle Horace.

- Hello, Hemie.

James, a word with you.

- See here, young man...

- Congratulations, Horace, congratulations.

- On what?

- Defying Uncle Ezra and seeing our show.

I'm not defying Ezra.

And this show has got to stop right now.

Got to stop? Fat chance,

Uncle Horace, fat chance.

You young scoundrel. It's my money.

It was your money.

You're a credit to this country.

- You put a lot of people to work.

- Not this kind of work.

- If this gets out, I'm ruined.

- You'll take bows when the show opens.

This show is not going to open.

Stop it. Everybody, stop it.

This show is off, understand?

- You're all dismissed.

- Girls, girls. Don't pay any attention to him.

This show must not go on.

He's only our backer and we've already

got the money. Feed him to the lions.

Help. Help.

Let me go, let me go, let me go.

Back to rehearsal. Let's go, everybody.

Come on. Snap into it.

I'll call the police.

I'll have you arrested for assault.

Go ahead, Uncle Horace.

We'd be glad to get the publicity.

- Publicity?

- Sure. "Horace P. Hemingway...

...big sausage man in town...

...gives chorus girl $25,000

to put on show...

...puts a lot of people out of work"...

- No, no, no.

Please don't do anything like that.

Go ahead and rehearse.

But promise me that Ezra

won't find out about me.

Now, don't you worry, because...

All right, girls. Come on, come on. Get

into it. Hit the deck. Let's see it.

- Barbara.

- Hit it, Buttercup.

- Barbara.

- My name is Joan Grey.

You go put on some clothes.

- I have them on.

- Why, that's disgraceful.

Barbara's just a visitor.

She's not in the show.

Oh, is that so?

You asked me to come to rehearsal,

and your dance director hired me.

I got in the show,

and I'm going to stay in.

Now, now, now, honey,

maybe your father's right.

You don't want me around, is that it?

Afraid I'll cramp your style

with your darling Mabel?

I've heard enough of this.

You get some clothes on.

I don't care what either of you say.

I'm free, white and 21.

I love to dance and I'm going to dance.

And if you fire me from this show,

I'll get a job in another one.

Wait till Ezra and Mathilda hear

about this. I'm ruined. Sunk. Lost.

Listen, you don't really

think we'd let Barbara...

...appear in a professional show?

Why, she can't. She's an amateur.

Helen Wills is an amateur in tennis.

- She can't play pro tennis, can she?

- I don't know, can she?

Why, of course she can't.

Now, don't you worry.

I can handle Barbara.

Besides, the show's a bit long...

...and we're gonna cut out

all the numbers that Barbara's in.

If Ezra ever finds out

anything about anything...

...he'll cut me off

like a ripe banana. He said so.

How's he ever gonna hear of it?

He always has his ear

to the ground.

Lot of newspapermen to see you

about the show, Mr. Higgens.

- This is the end.

- Now you go hide someplace...

...I'll take care of everything.

- Hi, Jimmy.

- Hello, Jimmy.

- Hi, boys.

- Who's this secret backer of yours?

Can't tell you just now, boys.

I get it. The more mysterious,

the more publicity.

You've got the right idea.

This is the one. Put it in the alley.

Here they come. Finally.

- Have you seen Barbara yet?

- Hasn't she shown up?

- Hasn't she even called?

- Not a peep.

I told you about amateurs.

She probably forgot it's the opening

and made another date.

- You know the opening number?

- Backwards.

Put on Barbara's costume.

If I drop dead from all this, play my part.

Come on, Mabel, we're late.

Hurry up, will you, Mabel?

Go ahead, hurry.

Hold that curtain. We can't start.

The leading lady hasn't shown up.

Okay, boss.

My, I'm so glad Barbara

didn't tease to go.

I'd never permit it.

She's much too young.

- Yes, yes, indeedy.

- Yes.

Bulger? Are your loins

girded for the battle?

The loins is ready to roar.

Are these gentlemen

capable and fearless?

Sure, they's the cream of the crop.

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