Dance Flick Page #2

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Have fun.

Grab a brush, grab a broom.

Grab a mop and bucket.

Come on, everybody

and we'll scrub, scrub, scrub it.

Clean up your own sh*t, hey.

Kiss my furry a-hole.

- This b*tch can't sing. I'm out of here.

- Word.

I shot him, it was at a quarter to 1:00

Nobody was there so I didn't run.

It was 2007, October 1

Under my bed is where I hid the gun.

Man, you killed it.

You're under arrest for murder.

What you talking about, man?

I didn't... I didn't even do nothing.

Got your confession on tape.

I shot him, it was at a quarter to 1:00

- Man, that wasn't even me, man.

- He hid the gun under the bed.

A- Con, what up, dawg?

- What up, man?

- Chilling.

So, what's up, man?

You going back to school?

Are you serious, man?

All these losers running around here

with hopes and dreams.

Teachers want you to better yourself.

Nah, man. Give me prison any day, fam.

Yeah, totally don't agree with you.

So what are you gonna do?

Come on, man. The judge says

it's either school orjuvie.

I'm only one crime away from

going back, B. I'm excited, man!

Kickball, arts and crafts, showers.

Yo, I'm about to go to the bank, man.

- Cool. You're gonna make a deposit?

- Nah. Withdrawal.

Tell your mom I'll be by later

for some pie.

Okay.

Ray? I ain't gonna beat around the bush

with you.

You blind, son.

Ain't no easy way to say

you're a blind little bastard.

I know, Mamma.

Ain't nobody gonna have pity on you

'cause you blind.

Now, wipe them tears.

These ain't tears, Mamma.

These is eye boogers.

Then blow your eyes!

Now, I done showed you

how to do things once.

But now you're on your own.

But you remember, you blind, not stupid.

Okay, Mamma.

Just get out the car, you stupid, blind

son-of-a-b*tch!

- Ray?

- Yes, Mamma?

You know how many steps it takes

to get to the school, right?

Yes, Mamma. I also remember

how many licks it takes...

...to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

- Just take your stupid, blind ass on.

- Yes, Mamma.

One, two, three!

Now, contrary to rumor, my door is

always open, from 5:00 to 5:05 p. m.

At which point

I usually take my three-hour lunch.

So, if you miss me, you can catch me

every other Tuesday...

...of every other leap year,

from 4:
45 a. m. To 4:47 a. m.

So just know I'm here to give you kids

some guidance.

Bobby! What are you doing writing

on that wall with a marker?

Use this spray paint. Don't you want

people to be able to see your work?

- Oh, yeah, let me try that.

- Damn fool.

Come on, blondie, pick up the pace.

I'm getting my wig rotated at 11:00.

Johnny! Take that condom off!

You know you can't feel anything

with it on!

- You right.

- These damn kids today...

...don't even know how to get low.

Okay, here we are. Here's your locker

and here's your combination.

Now, do you have

any questions or concerns?

Well, I do have a few concerns.

It's kind of a pressing matter...

...but I know you don't have much time.

She's good.

Jimmy Hopper, please come

to the principal's office. Jimmy Hopper.

Girl, don't be leaving your bag on the

floor. It's like giving it to charity.

- Hi, I'm Charity.

- I'm Megan.

- Are you a dancer?

- I used to be.

Yeah, me, too. Until I had my baby.

Get busy! Go, Charity! Get busy!

Go, Charity! Get busy! Go, Charity!

Get busy! Go, Charity! Get busy!

Go, Charity! Go! Go! Go!

Oh, my God!

You bring your baby to school with you?

Hell, yeah! I am a good mother, okay?

You can't just be leaving your baby

with anybody.

These nannies be beating

on your children like LAPD.

I keep him with me because that way

I know that he is safe and sound.

You know what I'm talking about?

You can't just be leaving your kid

with anybody.

These people out here be crazy,

neglecting their children. Okay.

All right, boo boo, you remember

to breathe through the vents...

...and Mommy loves you, punkin!

- Hey, Jack.

- Hey, Tracy.

I was wondering if you have a dance

partner for the senior showcase...

'cause I was thinking

we could be partners.

There's this really romantic scene

in Romeo and Juliet.

That's great.

I've always wanted to play that part.

You'll be a great Romeo.

I'm not talking about Romeo.

You're so funny.

"Delighted that he was fat

Delighted that he was old...

"No doubt in the world about that

Delighted that he had gold"

How now, brown cow.

Scene. An actor prepares.

Acting, people...

...is action and reaction.

- Oh, sh*t!

- Yes, son, yes! Yes, that is truth!

- You don't know me.

- I see murder in your eyes.

Yes, that's good, son.

You need an agent. You are excellent.

Now, what will you do to act?

What are you willing to sacrifice...

...for your art, son? Yes?

Are you willing to die for it?

Are you willing to cry for it?

Are you willing

to lose your manhood for it?

No? You, get out of my class,

get out of my class!

You call yourself an actor? Get out!

Damn it, I gave up my manhood...

...twice.

Yes, it hurt. I bled.

But I got five weeks' work

on a non-union student film.

Now, class, there are 50,000 people

who have the audacity...

...to call themselves actors.

- Yeah, like Jessica Simpson.

- Yes, like Jessica Simpson.

Did any of you guys see

Employee of the Month?

Refund, please!

That Dane Cook makes me do this.

Well, I kind of like that movie.

I thought she did a really good job.

I saw it four times.

Yeah, I guess I'd rather see her act than...

...ruin the Cowboys' chances

of ever winning the Super Bowl.

It seems as though we have a debate

going on here.

How about those mom jeans?

Irregardless of what you may think of

Miss Simpson, she is a success story.

Of the 50,000 people that call

themselves actors...

...there's only 500 working actors.

Of that 500, most of them are white.

There are a few roles for black people...

...but those roles are usually

for the Wayans brothers.

We must all, in our lives

and in our craft, have one thing.

Dignity. Yes, dignity.

Well, I remember one time,

they offered me a role...

...in a despicable, disgusting,

stereotypical racist movie.

Do you know what I told them?

- Yes, Miss White?

- You turned it down.

Hell, no! I took that money!

But I did it with dignity.

Let us watch.

Boy, you ain't picking

that cotton fast enough.

Massa, no!

I be's the best cotton-picking

picaninny this side of Jubilee.

Yes, sir, I's a cotton-picking fool!

They call me Lightning Jack.

- See, I just love picking me some cotton.

- Boy, you lie talking me?

Massa, I's be here forever. I cuts my

own foot off, sir, to show my love to you.

I love me some massa. No, Massa. No!

Integrity.

Attention, ladies!

Everybody take your place.

I am your dance instructor...

Ms. Camelto.

Now, I'm sure most of you have heard...

...that I have a huge count...

Excuse me, country music collection...

...but that's irrelevant.

I have one interest here today...

...and that one interest is dance.

I wanna see you dance and I wanna

see you smile. Understood?

I barely saw you there. You look like

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