Danny the Champion of the World Page #4

The rest of you, sit down. Sit down.

Try and be good.

Now then...

On your word of honour,

were either of you cheating just now?

- Danny?

- No, sir.

- Sidney?

- No, sir.

Right. Back to your class.

Captain Lancaster...

If I catch you using the cane

ever again in my school

you'll be out on your ear.

Is that understood?

- Is that understood, sir?

- Yes, sir.

Good, sir.

- Hello, Dad.

- Hello, Dan.

Ow! Damn this nut!

Try this one.

What's the matter with your hand?

Who did this?

- Who did this, Danny?

- Dad...

Was it Lancaster?

- He thought me and Sid were cheating.

- Cheating? You?

- Right.

- Where are you going?

- To see Captain Lancaster.

- Please don't! Please!

- To beat the living daylights out of him.

- lt'll make everything worse.

It'll make him think

before he lays a hand on a child again.

- I'll hate you if you do it!

- Danny...

You've always taught me to fight

my own battles. You've always said.

I'm sorry, Dan.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You're right. You're right.

I'm all angry inside and when people

get like that it just...comes out.

I want to get even with Hazell and I can't!

I had this dream. You know the shooting

season starts on Saturday?

- Yeah.

- They'll all be up at Hazell's.

The local bigwigs

and the toffs down from London.

They don't give a fig for Hazell

but they know his fields

will be crawling with pheasants.

That's all they care about.

But what if it wasn't?

- What if what wasn't?

- What if there wasn't a pheasant in sight.

Nothing.

What if someone had poached

the lot? He'd be a laughing stock!

- He'd never show his face again.

- It's a fantastic idea!

Yeah. Trouble is...

No one could poach six or seven

hundred pheasants. It's impossible.

(Doctor's voice) And now, William,

this is to make you sleep.

Tea on?

Dad...

I think I've had an idea.

It's... It's...absolutely...flabbergasting!

If it works, it would make Danny

the all-time champion of the world.

- Mmm.

- Can you give us the stuff?

Er... Yes! Of course.

I think it will require a little...a little planning.

Military planning.

Afternoon, Snoddy.

Oh, would you er...

Would you be free tomorrow?

Raisins, eh?

One bag do you?

- How many have you got?

- I don't know. 20 or 30, I suppose.

We'll take the lot.

(William) This should just put them

to sleep for a day and a night.

Then we'll snuff them.

Easy as pie.

Let's have a go!

Danny... I think we're going to do it!

You should go to bed, my love.

I've got all tomorrow.

I'll close up for the day.

(Cockerel crows)

Come on, Dan, finish that up.

Come straight back after school.

If we're not in the woods by sunset,

we'll be too late. Danny!

Go on. Off you go.

(Clip snaps shut)

(Loud snap)

Having 40 winks, are we, Smith?

We'll have to wake you up a bit,

won't we? Stay behind after the bell.

- But, sir, I've got to get home.

- You'll do as you're told, boy.

(Bell rings)

(Cheering)

Right, Smith.

Please, sir, I'll do any punishment -

I can't be late tonight.

Then you'd better put a bit of beef

into it. 20 times.

At the double!

Come on, boy! Pick those feet up!

Hup hup hup hup hup!

(Clock chimes)

Smith!

Smith!

(Trousers rip)

Captain Lancaster!

What on earth are you doing, man?

I'm... He was...

This isn't a school! It's a bear pit!

Most disgusting shambles I've ever seen!

I'm resigning!

- Do you hear me? As of now!

- Oh, good.

(Men's voices in distance)

(Man) Wait a minute.

- Nah.

- What's that?

(Whispers) Did they see the raisins?

(Loud snap)

Ah-ah. This way, this way.

Stay here.

- I've had this. I'm off home.

- What about the 100 quid?

100 quid? Our lad won't be out

poaching with his leg in plaster!

I'm not standing here all night

on the wages I get paid.

Are you coming?

(Sighs)

(William whispers)

You all right, Danny?

Let's see your hand.

All we can do now is to wait.

(Flapping overhead)

Maybe it isn't going to work.

Maybe there's something

we haven't thought of.

- Give it time.

- What?

Give it time.

(Bird squawks)

(Thud)

Come on, Dan.

(Laughs)

(Both laugh)

Oh, my goodness, it's epic!

That's the last.

I can hardly believe it! (Laughs)

Man, it's historic!

Oh, yes, I think it's... Er... Well... (Laughs)

What are we going to do with them all

when they wake up?

What do you think we should do, Danny?

Let them go.

Well said, lad.

(William)

Danny, we've got to spread the good news.

OK, let's let it go.

- (Doctor) Oh...

- It's a good one, Danny.

(William) This will let the village know.

(Excited chatter)

- What does it mean?

- Means they did it. Got the lot.

Lionel, look!

- Morning.

- (All) Morning.

- Check your names. Fred Purdy.

- Yeah.

- Harry Standon.

- Here.

(Laughs)

Yes, yes.

Ah!

What the devil

does Hazell think this is? A wedding?

- I suppose he thinks it's traditional.

- Traditional?

Punch at a shoot? (Laughs)

Good God!

The fellow's a... What?

- Ah! Morning, Hazell.

- Lord Claybury. Sir Charles.

- Expecting a record bag today.

- We'll try not to disappoint you.

Could you spare a moment,

Sir Charles?

Morning, Claybury.

Morning, Duke.

What do you think of this?

Punch at a shoot! (Laughs)

Exactly what you'd expect from

Hazell. Doesn't know the first thing.

Shouldn't be out at all

this early in the season.

- I'm impressed, Victor.

- How impressed?

You'll have a lot of local opposition.

Claybury, for instance. He'll go mad.

He's mad already.

No one's will listen to him.

Perhaps. What about the village?

They won't want a new town

in their backyard.

- Voice of the people.

- It's in line with government policy.

What about this plot here?

- Garage, smallholding, whatever it is.

- I've got it.

How much did it cost you?

It's the key to the whole thing,

or didn't the owner know?

I must have forgotten to tell him.

All right, Victor.

I think I can persuade the board.

I'm in.

What's the best stand

for the first drive, Rabbetts?

- That'll be number four.

- Number four.

Listen. First drive's through Home Woods

to the house. Everybody know it?

- (All) Aye.

- Keep the lines straight. Use sticks.

Right, then. Let's get on with it.

Number seven.

- Number four.

- Four! Good show.

Get up! Over there.

Keep that line straight!

Use those sticks!

Get those birds up!

(Men shout)

What's going on?

(All shout)

- Where are the birds?

- Don't know, sir.

There he is now, sir. Excuse me.

What the devil's happening?

Where have the birds gone?

(Rabbetts) I can't understand it.

What's going on?

(Flapping)

Ah! Ah!

Silly ass! It's a sparrow!

Sparrow? A sparrow!

Is that all you have to offer us,

Hazell? One sparrow?

(All laugh)

(All laugh)

(Doctor) I know...

(Car approaches)

- Nothing in the lower quarter.

- What do you mean, nothing?

Well, nothing.

Listen, I can't keep them

hanging around much longer.

So find me some birds

or you can find yourself another job.

(Doctor) Never enjoyed anything so much

in all my life.

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