Daria: Is It Fall Yet? Page #5

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Are you implying that I can't shop and give you my attention? Because I don't

think that's the sort of confidence-building a tutor is supposed to provide his student.

We're not going to the mall.

You academics aren't very understanding of the pressures facing normal people.

Nevertheless, if we leave now, I'll buy you a sno-cone.

Forget it. I quit.

Geek.

Steinbeck was perhaps best known for his poignant novel about the "Okies"...

Uh-huh...

A heavy metal band famous for having a baboon on bass.

Uh-huh...

Uh, why'd you do that?

Because I'm not here to watch you put on makeup.

But... I don't mind.

Well, I do. Now, if you did your reading, you'll recall that Steinbeck was...

what are you doing?

This toaster's really shiny.

Later.

Huh?

During the Reconstruction, Southerners complained that the newly installed

government officials were nothing more than carpetbaggers.

They were making fun of their butts? Wait, that would be saddlebaggers...

Oh, no... that's the look my mother always gets when I say something stupid. I'm

such an idiot. I'll never get anywhere in life!

At least you're trying. Unlike Sandi and Tiffany, whom I had to drop. Now, the carpet...

Wait -- you dropped them?

Yup. The carpetbaggers...

Why didn't they tell me? I'm being shut out. I can't believe this is happening

to me. I knew this was going to happen to me. Oh, why did I wear that butterfly clip?

Congressman Sack's office. Hey! How's it going?

Terrible. You want to go to a movie Saturday?

I have to pull a double shift at the crisis center.

You know, I never see you anymore.

I know, but look at it this way. I'm wasting away the summer stuck inside all

day. At least you get to drive around in your nice white suit ringing your

little bells.

Hey, you think it's funny that I have to do this?!

Who said it was funny? I got to get this. I'll talk to you later.

We want ice cream!

Yeah... later.

Daria! It's that Tom!

Hello?

Hey, it's me. I was wondering what you're doing tonight.

Actually, I'm... not feeling that well.

Still? Then can I bring you a bowl of soup? I'll even throw in a couple of

goldfish crackers. Or real goldfish, if you prefer.

Thanks, but I'm kind of beat. I think I'll pass.

Daria... is everything all right?

Never better. I mean, except for this cold.

You know I'm leaving for the cove in a week, right? I won't see you for a month.

I know. Um, a month's not that long.

All right. Call me if you feel like getting out, okay?

Sure.

Link, I asked you to stop by because I've noticed you seem a little bit... subdued.

I was gonna say miserable, but okay.

Growing up is kind of like being a kite, isn't it? We want to fly, but we don't

really trust ourselves to cut the parental string and soar with the birds.

A kite doesn't fly if you cut its string. It blows around in the wind for a

while and then crashes.

Exactly. Just the way we...

You might know that if you ever took us outside.

Oh, well, I...

What do you know? 'Cause it seems to me you spout out a lot of crap about loving

ourselves, and that doesn't do any good to someone trying to figure out why his

mother threw his father out for being a jerk and then went and married a bigger one.

Oh, well, that certainly sounds like something we can talk about...

I don't want to talk about it. I want to go to a real camp where you run around

all day doing stuff until you're too tired to think. Can we do that, "Uncle Timothy"?

Well, you see, Link, much as I'd like to, we have to keep the other children's

safety in mind.

That's what I thought. You don't really care about making kids feel better.

Of course I do!

Okay, then I guess the problem is just that you suck at it.

It'll be okay. That was just Link's anger with himself talking.

Um, keep up the good work.

Hey, everything okay?

How can you stand this place?!

Um, 'cause I'm one of the guards instead of the prisoners?

Yeah. Right.

Look, you want to go for a walk?

Outside? That would be dangerous.

Tell you what. I won't say a word. It'll be just like going by yourself, except

for the by-yourself part.

God, I envy you, Jane. To have all that talent and focus at your age.

Oh, come on.

I wish I could be in high school again, knowing what I know now.

A little perspective and you could sidestep all the torture, huh?

No.

Hell, I'd trade places with you in a minute. You're doing exactly what I want

to. Making it on your own as an artist.

Trying to, anyway.

Hey, you'll do it.

So will you. Little more?

Why not?

You and your future. Me and my so-called career. I guess we've each got

something the other would love to have.

Daria? How are things at camp? Daria?

Well, let's see. Tomorrow we're going to push the campers to their physical

limits by having them make paper doll chains.

Ha! A joke... right?

That's what I keep telling myself.

Hello? Yes, this is Helen Morgendorffer. Kay Sloane? Oh, yes, hello!

It's very nice to speak with you at last. I'm sorry we haven't met yet.

Oh, yes, I know.

In fact, that's sort of why I'm calling. We're having a little benefit for the

Lawndale Art Museum we're calling the Starry Night Ball. Do you think you might

like to attend? We could finally meet and do our bit for the arts.

The Starry Night Ball? What a wonderful idea. Without the arts, what

distinguishes us from animals, right?

Well, let's see. Animals don't feel the need to suck up to wealthier animals.

Wonderful. It's on September eighth, and tickets are a thousand dollars per

couple. Or you can buy a table for $5,000, but please don't feel obligated to do that.

Um, did you say the eighth? Oh, dear, that's the weekend of the office retreat.

Well, I'll check to be sure, but... yes, I'm sorry. It was nice speaking with

you, too. Good-bye. Whew...

Damn it, Helen, I want to go to the ball!

Yes, why should your wicked stepsisters have all the fun?

I mean to hobnob with all those rich people. Clients... money...

Hobnob?

Jake, the tickets are a thousand dollars.

A thousand bucks! Insensitive rich bastards! Don't they know some people have to

work for a living?!

Relax. I think she bought my excuse.

Thank God.

Oh, dear... I hope they won't think we're cheap now.

Who cares what they think?

What's the matter with you?

It's bad enough the rest of the town grovels at the Sloanes' feet. Now I have to

put up with it in my own home?

Was I groveling?

Was she joking?

These pastels are great.

Thanks. I wish the galleries felt the same way.

They're nuts.

I knew you'd get what I'm trying to do. Top that off?

No, I'd better call it a night. I get cranky if I don't get my usual 12 hours.

Come on, it's still early. I'm sure we can find something to do to amuse ourselves.

Well, that's where the whole sleeping thing factors in. I'll see you tomorrow.

I'm exhausted.

I can't let you walk home in your condition. I'm going to have to insist that

you lie down.

No, really, I'm fine.

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