Dark Tide Page #5

We don't want them to think

the boat is the food.

That's how accidents happen.

You're chucking in a fish head

and then waiting for them

to come after it before

you snatch it away... that's torture.

That's against the Geneva Convention.

Well, don't worry.

We'll find you sharks.

- This is our job.

- How deeply reassuring.

Tommy, bring out your girlfriend.

Hey, sexy.

- What is that?

- This is my baby.

"Stop looking at my bottom".

You don't have a bottom any more.

Tommy, put it in.

It's going in.

- Luke!

- Yeah?

Get out your camera.

You're gonna wanna get this.

- Got it.

- Good.

We're gonna circle

around the launchpad.

Okay. I'll keep an eye on the depth.

Looking good.

Luke, get low. Get low.

Put the decoy in

the bottom of your frame.

I'm ready.

Ease off just a whisker.

Give her just a little bit.

You telling me how to drive now?

I mean, are you serious?

Kate, are you serious?

How long do we have to

tool around with him...

in a car with the others

looking for a shark?

However long it takes.

Shut up, Dad.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Check it out.

Suicidal seal, 4:00.

Where?

Whoa!

You see that?

Cool!

That's how long.

- I saw that.

- He's devouring him!

- You got it?

- Yeah, I got it.

- Hey, Jeff, take a look at that.

- Check it out.

Wow. That's what I'm talking about.

- That was insane.

- Oh, look at all those seal pieces.

Hey, look,

very few people get to see that.

- Tommy, drop anchor.

- All right, skipper.

You wanna grab her?

Seriously?

I'll do it.

No. No, no, no. I've got it.

Here. You take pictures.

That's my girlfriend.

Careful.

Oh, she's too far out.

It's coming.

Just paddle in the water.

Yeah.

Careful.

Careful.

There's little sharks down there.

No! What was that?

There's sharks down there.

You gotta watch out, be careful.

- Exactly!

- Not okay?

- No.

- I'm sorry.

- It's yours.

- Sorry. Hey, it's my girlfriend.

That was seriously uncool.

There's no comedy on this boat.

Seems like he's hunting.

What do you think? Huh?

- Let's do it.

- Let's do it.

Let's get in. Let's get in the water.

- Let's go.

- Yeah?

Luke, let's do it.

Get in your wet suit.

So you sure about this?

Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?

I don't know.

Visibility's getting worse.

Obviously he's not a player.

Oh, you're worried

about me now, huh?

Yeah.

Well, you weren't last month

or the month before that

or the month before that...

Oh, please.

That was five years ago.

But...

- You know it.

- I'm good.

I got this. Come on.

Don't worry.

Help me.

Come on. Help me.

Come on.

I'm worried.

Ohh.

Come on. Let's go.

Are you going to kiss me or what?

- You want me to?

- Yeah.

Christ's sakes, just push it in.

- I'm trying.

- Straighten your leg out.

- Push with your leg.

- I'm trying, Dad.

Aah! You're hurting me.

You know what?

I don't even wanna go back in the water.

Come on. It was your idea.

What's wrong with you?

- My idea? You dragged me out here.

- Okay.

It was our idea. Other one.

You said, "Shark diving.

Yes. How cool". Remember?

Yeah. Because I wanted

to spend some time with you.

I never ever get to see you.

Yeah, well, if you wanna spend time

with me, let's get in the cage.

Let's get down there

with some sharks, yeah?

- Sound good?

- No, it doesn't sound good.

I don't wanna go back in the cage.

What? Spend some time with me

while you've still got the chance.

Don't play that card with me.

What card?

- Pathetic.

- Oh. You're scared, yeah?

You have to be an a**hole to everyone.

No one's impressed.

Jesus Christ.

I've got seven kids...

from three different women,

and only one of them's half a poof.

- What did you say?

- Half a poof!

You know, just 'cause

you're dying of cancer...

doesn't give you license

to be such an a**hole!

- What? I'm what?

- Dying of cancer.

Who told you that?

Oh, Mom, of course.

Yeah, you'd love that to be true,

wouldn't you?

You'd love to just inherit

the rest of my money.

Well, good luck with that.

I'm not going anywhere.

You can quit pretending.

You've got, what, three months?

That's just enough time

for you to be a better person.

- You could try being a better father.

- A better dad?

What, better than this?

You kidding? Yeah.

It doesn't get better than that,

does it?

- Yeah.

- I'll just get better and better.

I'll be a compassionate, lovely guy.

In the meantime,

I'm going diving.

- Come on!

- No!

Dad, I don't wanna go

back in the suit!

- Put your arm in there.

- No!

- Whoa, guys. Cool it.

- Put your arm in there!

- Cool it.

- Wait. What's it got to do with you?

Huh? What's it got

to do with you, eh?

You're in my family now, is it?

By the way...

Whoa!

You just hit me?

Did you just hit me?

That's a push.

I don't want to hit you, okay?

Just calm down.

Come on. Come on.

No bad feelings.

You should've given me a cigarette

when you had the chance, buddy.

I told you I was gonna get cranky.

Don't get too excited about the fins.

Only use them if the boss tells you to.

Okay. I'm locking you in.

You good?

Going down.

- Out!

- Okay. Wait a minute.

- Come on!

- Hold on.

Out!

I've got it. Okay. I'm fine.

All right? Turn it off.

What's the matter with you?

Leave me alone.

I said, "In the cage".

What part of "in the cage"

did you forget?

- Hey, calm down.

- Calm down? This happens to be my boat.

Hey, that was a cool dive.

High five.

High five? You wanna kill yourself,

kill yourself, not the rest of us.

What's your problem?

Look, hang on. Let me check.

Yeah, I'm all still here.

Stop getting upset.

If I wanna get out of the cage,

I'm getting out of the cage.

Okay. Tommy, pull anchor.

- We're outta here.

- Forget it. Tommy...

- Hold on, Tommy.

- No, no, no.

Uh-uh. No, no. We're done.

- Hear me? Done.

- Take it easy.

- Everyone is okay.

- Thank you, Jeff.

I paid big money to get out of a cage

and swim in the water with a shark.

And your boyfriend assured me

that he would make that happen.

- Right?

- My boy...

- My boyfriend said that?

- Yeah. Help me out here, Jeff.

- I never said "boyfriend".

- Aw, come on.

- You said it?

- I never said "boyfriend".

Okay, I'm gonna get the text.

You told him

he could get outta the cage.

Did you tell him he could...

- No.

- Wow. Awkward.

- You wanna hear a joke?

- No.

There you go.

Straight from your boyfriend's phone.

All right?

Hey!

What is going on here?

Thanks, mate.

That really helps.

Yeah. But that was

a great dive, by the way.

That was a cool dive.

What are you doing?

Why are you freaking out?

I don't understand.

What's your problem?

That was so wrong.

You have taken people

out of the cage before.

The guy is an a**hole,

but he signed a release.

'Cause you told him he could do something

that I wasn't even sure I could do.

But of course you can do it.

You have it.

I wish I would have it.

I have to be the guy with the camera.

Oh, right,

'cause I'm the shark whisperer.

- Yeah.

- Legend of the deep. Stop it!

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