Dating Daisy Page #4

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[breathes deeply]

Cheers.

[jazz music]

[snoring]

[Samira] Hey.

You got anymore

Chateau La-whatever 2010?

[chuckles]

- Thanks.

- Mm-hmm.

Look at him.

I always marveled at how happy

he looks when he sleeps.

I don't see it often

when he's awake.

You still heated?

Sorry about that.

I understand the need

to impress your parents.

Oh...

I've kind of accepted

that's not gonna happen.

I mean, my...

my grandfather survived

a Middle Eastern revolution,

and I have the high score

on "Ms. Pac-Man"

at the Nicholson Arcade.

Wow. You really try to

impress a girl, don't you?

I'm not trying

to impress anyone.

Right.

How could you?

You don't even know my type.

Okay.

What?

What's your type?

I don't have a type.

- [scoffs]

- Don't believe in types.

Jeez, okay.

I just found

that what people respond to

and what they say

they respond to

can be very different.

I would say I respond

to women

who have...

huge Adam's apples

- and padded pantsuits...

- Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.

And have names like Bath Shiva.

- Traditional.

- Yeah.

I like it.

Oh, my God, I do, too,

which is why

I remain regrettably single.

-[chuckles] Aw.

- Drink up.

- [chuckles]

[sighs]

[knock at door]

You okay, precious?

What, you're not

precious anymore?

What's up, Dad?

Look, about this job thing,

I'm sorry

if I put pressure on you

to come up here this weekend.

It's not your fault.

I probably would've had

to quit eventually.

I just... I wish you would've

talked to me about it.

I know.

You know what?

Maybe it was a good thing

you lost this job.

I didn't get fired.

No.

But we manifest everything

in our lives at some level.

Isn't that

what you always tell me?

Yeah.

I mean, look,

you're 25 years old now.

I'm 26.

That's what I meant.

[both laugh]

Look, you want to strike oil,

why don't you just dig deep

right here where God's put you,

instead of running all over

the world poking little holes?

I want to show you something.

- [sighs]

- [door opens]

[gentle music]

Oh...

Oh, my gosh.

When I took that job in Dallas,

it was my dream job.

You were four years old,

and I would fly home

every other weekend,

and I think I'd miss you

grow two inches

each and every time.

Then one day...

I came home to this.

My life-size dad.

You said you drew it

so you could see my face

anytime you wanted.

I've never been

more miserable in a job

after seeing this drawing.

[both laughing]

Dad...

[both] Oh...

It's okay.

Oh, gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Might I offer you

Trader Joe's best?

Inspired.

- Oh, thank you.

- [chuckles]

I have great taste in employees

who have great taste

in Trader Joe's.

[Michael clears throat]

So the, um...

the "pulling DNA from plants"

thing...

What is that for?

Oh, that was in school.

I don't really work

in a lab anymore.

The research I do now focuses

on infant development.

How did you get into that?

A close family friend

when I was young

had a baby

with underdeveloped lungs,

I always knew I wanted to help

ever since then.

Man, that is what

I'm talking about.

I mean, I have known what I want

to do forever,

it feels like.

Most of my friends

do not know what they want.

I...

I have a hard time

relating to people

who are still figuring it out.

I know that's mean,

but I'm solution-oriented,

you know?

- Mm.

- Like, do something.

- Try something.

- Mm-hmm.

I mean, accomplishing it

is a whole nother thing.

Yeah, sometimes I think

that I'll probably die

before any of the problems

I want to solve get solved.

Like, if two people

love each other

and their kid

would have autism,

we should be able to fix that.

Fix it like doctor

the genes of the kid?

Mm, you're one of those?

[chuckles] Like I'm playing God

or something.

No, no, I'm not one of those,

but you were so preoccupied

with whether or not you could,

you didn't you stop to think

about whether or not you should?

Was that... Oh.

Jeff Goldblum, "Jurassic Park."

They're, like, sitting around

the table, and he's like...

[imitating Jeff Goldblum]

"Uh-huh." Like, "Ah..."

Bit of a stretch.

- Was it?

- Yeah.

Is it not good?

- Nope.

- I like it.

Mm. You shouldn't.

Is it...

is it, like, not oaky enough?

Nope, not oaky enough for me.

Yeah.

No oak.

One of those nights, okay.

[chuckles]

[imitates guzzling drinks]

[girls laughing]

[Daisy]

You are so such a good singer.

[Liz] I know.

[Daisy] You're such

a good singer, Liz.

I didn't even know.

[knock at door]

- Hi!

- What's up?

[laughing] Hi.

- She made it.

- Obviously.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Oh, I wouldn't miss this.

Come on.

I wouldn't miss you guys. Hi.

Oh, my gosh, get in here.

Look at this furry face.

Look at this.

- Yes.

- I got this for you.

I know.

What? No.

- Yes!

- No, this is amazing.

Who is this?

Who is this?

This is Liz, my cousin.

Hi. I'm Liz.

- Hi.

- What's up?

Namaste.

Man, why the hell

do you have to be

such a f***ing tool

all the time?

[laughing]

That was so...

Hey, you brought beer.

You brought beer.

- Yeah.

- Okay, all right.

Stop talking.

[Ele] Nathan, get over here,

Wake up, honey.

You got to see this.

[laughing]

[Michael] Mm?

Dad's reserve.

Ooh. Ooh-la-la.

[both laugh]

So...

this guy you were seeing?

Oh, yes.

Okay, so, um...

- we went on maybe four dates...

- Mm-hmm.

And he paid for everything,

was super nice and all,

but it was kind of

all that he was,

so I let him know that I didn't

think it was gonna work out,

and he emails me a week later

with scanned receipts

asking that I cover

half of all the meals.

- No.

- Yeah.

[laughs]

I felt embarrassed for him.

- Oh, my...

- It was so bad.

- That is incredible.

- Yeah.

- F***.

- Did you...

[gasps] No.

[laughs]

Nice going, Drillbit Dan.

No.

Let me try, oh, my gosh.

It's, like...

[Michael gasps]

Sh*t.

That is a $120 bottle

of wine you just ruined.

- I ruined?

- Yes.

- Me?

- Yeah.

At least be a lady

and pay for your half.

[chuckles]

Ha ha ha ha.

Deserved that one.

I take PayPal.

[laughs]

Great.

So you like cute guys

to pay for everything?

Well, it doesn't have

to be fancy.

No.

I can be a cheap date

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

But, yes, he's paying.

Mm.

My ex wanted guys to pay, too,

but...

I don't know.

I thought you'd be more...

"I am woman" about it.

Hmm.

I am woman.

But...

you know, I don't need a guy

to provide for me.

I want a guy who wants

to provide for me.

That's what she said.

What?

My ex.

Oh.

I thought you were making, like,

a "that's what she said" joke.

[laughing] Oh. Can you imagine?

Yeah, I was, like,

I was nailing this chick, bro,

and she was all, "I want a guy

who wants to provide for me,"

so I provided on her face.

Too far.

Whoops.

[laughs]

It's okay.

So he's like,

"Let's shoot this chase scene,

you know, or, like,

this car sequence."

[Daisy] Yeah, 'cause, of course,

he wrote a high-speed chase

into our high school.

He clips this car.

The driver of that car

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