Dating My Mother Page #7

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Oh, honey,

of course you can stay.

You could have

really hurt yourself.

I don't know

what I'd do without you.

It hurts just thinking about it.

You are so smart...

and so creative.

You're gonna do amazing things.

[doorbell rings]

Oh. Good.

One second.

- Who is that?

- [door opens]

[door creaking]

[Danny]

Come on in.

Here. Thank you.

It may be a little dry,

to be honest,

um, but there is ketchup

and stuff in the fridge.

No, Danny.

This is great.

Just great.

Hear, hear.

Well, thank you.

[sighs]

Uh, Chester,

would you like something

more than water?

- Beer?

- Little blow.

[laughing]

- Uh, we're all out of blow.

- [Chester] No blow.

Uh, then, just the beer then.

[laughing]

Okay. Danny?

I'm okay, I think.

My liver needs a little break.

Good idea.

- Thank you for the Malbeck.

- Oh.

[keyboard clacking]

Oh!

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

I, um, had to take,

like, my bike.

This is

the writer's group, right?

I'm sorry, Connie,

you were saying?

[Connie] The differences

between women who lead

and women who don't.

I like your murse.

Oh, thank you.

You know, I really liked

your story actually.

I was... I wanted to tell

you that. It was super funny.

Um, it's the first time

I can probably honestly say

that I chortled.

- You chortled. Uh-oh.

- I chortled.

Did you clean it up?

- All over.

- Oh, God.

- I'm Danny.

- I'm Richard.

I... Do you plan

on coming back next week?

Yeah, I think so.

Um, still kinda getting used

to the...

- share-as-you-write thing...

- Mm-hmm.

...but it's cool.

Yeah. I mean, I like it...

It takes a second

to get into it,

but I like it 'cause

it really keeps you focused,

you know, that's sort of...

- [object clatters on floor]

- Oh, no.

Ohhh! Oh.

- It was already like that?

- Oh, no, no, no, I'm a mess.

- This has... This has, uh...

- Yeah.

...been like that for a while.

Just save the cash.

Drop it all the time.

- Right, right, right.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it still works?

I mean, I'm not taking

as many selfies.

Oh, yeah, well...

But you could still get

someone's number

if you... if you met someone,

I mean?

- Uh...

- For writing purposes?

Yeah. Of course.

For writing purposes.

Yeah.

- How about I give you mine?

- Sure.

- Okay.

- Yeah, okay.

Um...

Oh, okay.

- Never when you need it, right?

- Never when you need it. No.

Okay. Oh, and there we go.

Here. Uh, wait,

you're gay, right?

- Super gay. Yeah, I am.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mom?

[Joan]

Yeah?

I need a f***ing haircut.

Okay, do the fade thing.

You always do that.

I know, but it's

my signature look.

I just need a trim.

Okay.

[trimmer buzzing]

I am here.

Okay, you guys,

we can talk about

how cute I look or just not

acknowledge the elephant in the room.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh!

Someone pressed the hot

and handsome buttons.

Thank you.

[Joan]

So what's this kid's name again?

- Richard.

- [Chester] Richard?

- One man's Richard is another man's Dick.

- [snickering]

[Joan laughing]

- Okay, come on.

- [Chester] What?

You're dating a Dick.

Mature. Really?

[laughter continues]

Have you heard

the snort laugh yet?

- [Chester] I have. Several times.

- Good.

- Stop it.

- Charming.

- It's cute.

- Don't tease me.

- [Joan whining]

- [doorbell rings]

Don't get up.

Okay.

So, what else do you do

besides write?

Um, well, I work

at a magazine in the city.

- Oh, cool.

- Yeah. I run the social for it,

and we just launched.

- Which one?

- "Architectural Digest."

I follow them on Instagram.

- I run the Instagram.

- [laughs]

- Amazing.

- Yeah.

- Amazing.

- That's funny.

Wow!

Uh, what about you?

Well, I'm currently trying

to figure out

how to pay the bills,

or even have them.

But I'm writing a script.

Oh, right. Yeah, that's

the thing you told me about.

- Mother-son...

- Yes.

So they're both single

and they're online dating and...

It's kind of autobiographical.

The main character's

kind of a mess.

Yeah, like a cute mess though.

Yeah. Hopefully.

[waiter]

Are you about ready to order?

I'm sorry. I haven't looked

at the menu yet.

Yeah, me neither.

- Take your time.

- Thank you.

Yeah.

[Richard]

All right, please email me

the draft, you know,

when you feel ready.

- I would love that.

- Yeah.

I really would.

And I'll send you mine

as well obviously.

Yeah. And, uh, thanks

for walking me to the garage.

Yeah. I don't know

if you would have made it...

- Yeah. Who knows.

- ...by yourself. It's, um...

- Um, you're a gentleman.

- So are you.

- And I'll drive next time.

- Okay. Sounds good.

- Okay.

- All right.

- Catch you later.

- Bye.

Oh, honey. Sorry.

Your mattress came.

It's okay.

Wait, don't get up.

[sighs]

[sighs]

Whoo, this is soft.

Mm.

How was it?

[sighs]

It was good.

I think I like this one.

Yay!

Did he pay?

I did actually.

With what money?

I have a credit card.

- And I walk dogs.

- Hmm.

What an exhausting day. I'll

be so glad when it's tomorrow.

Me too.

Good night.

Love you.

Love you, too.

Hey,

you were right, by the way.

Nice is good.

[sighs]

Nice is good.

[chuckling]

Hmm.

- Are you gonna turn off the...

- Yes, I will.

Sometimes you gotta try

Sometimes you find

To seek what's on

the other side

Close your eyes...

The world is

on your side tonight

Maybe I've been hiding away

From the life

I could have had today

Doesn't matter

where I've been

'Cause tonight

I feel lighter

Driving downtown

with the windows down

Tonight

I'll go higher

Than I've ever been before

'Cause I've been up

and I've been down

Now I'm back

with the feet on the ground

Feel the weight of the world

lift off my shoulders

Well, I've been gone

too long

On a mission

Searching for a sign

but now I know

I'll be missing

The best days come in life

When you let go

And now I

Take it day by day

For no one but me

The truth is

Now I'm on my way

Maybe I've been hiding away

From the life

I could have had today

Doesn't matter

where I've been

'Cause tonight

I feel lighter

Driving downtown

with the windows down

Tonight

I'll go higher

Than I've ever been before

'Cause I've been up

and I've been down

Now I'm back

with my feet on the ground

Feel the weight of the world

lift off my shoulders

Feel the weight of the world

lift off my shoulders

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