De Haas in de Marathon Page #4

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Hey.

How may I help you?

These shoes, I'd like to try them

a size bigger.

Is that right?

Well, let's do it.

- Same ones?

- Yes.

But a half size bigger.

They pinch a bit.

Oh. You don't want that, right?

Pinching.

- I'll go and have a look.

- OK.

I run marathons.

When your shoes are half a size too small

they'll pinch.

You don't want that.

There, an 8.5.

- 8.5?

- It's a British size.

Oh right, I see.

- How much do I owe you?

- Nothing. It's fine.

Well, thank you.

- No problem.

- Thanks.

Good morning. Are we ready?

- There.

- What's the plan, Yous?

Nico's mentality will be our example.

He'll be at the finish with a medal...

...and you'll be hyperventilating

in a field somewhere.

So, starting today,

no more cake, beer and smokes.

- There's training to do.

- Look at him:
Tut Moses.

He's the first Egyptian

who tells me what to do.

- He's a bit right, though.

- Traitor.

"He's a bit right."

- One more hand and we're off.

- Get me a new beer.

If we want to save this garage,

we'll have to run the marathon.

That means only one thing:

We're going to train.

See you outside in five minutes.

Come on, tempo.

Jump, Leo.

Guys...

Good. It's going well.

Get lost with your Smurf juice.

- Pick it up, guys. Come on.

- Yeah, pick it up...

- I have to take a leak.

- Me too.

Me first.

OK guys, that's it.

These are your numbers.

Pin it to your T-shirt.

Be there by 12 o'clock

and do your warming up.

You're going to practice in Amsterdam

and you start at 1 pm on the dot.

I think I'm speaking for everyone,

but...

...we do have a problem.

- What?

- Well...

...it's in Amsterdam

and we weren't aware of that.

There must be a run somewhere else.

Bleiswijk, Berkel Rodenrijs...

Schiebroek, for all I care.

If Lee runs past the Ajax Arena,

sh*t will be running down his legs.

Guys, don't whine and complain,

just run.

No way I'm going to Amsterdam.

It's overrun by vibrating gay tools.

Important tip:
Take the train.

PARKING GARAGE FULL

- Goddammit.

- Sure.

- Oh, it's Youssoef, guys.

- Don't answer.

If he hears we're not there yet,

he'll go crazy.

Now he's calling me, of course.

Jesus Christ, what's taking so long?

Honk, Geer.

Look at him:
Piss Amsterdammer.

- So now he's calling me.

- Don't answer.

What the heck are you doing, man?

Honk all you want,

but I have to unload these boxes.

Why don't you help? We'll get home

early to the old ball and chain.

Help? Good luck to you, sir.

Got a chromosome extra, towing goat?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, cockroach.

It's no use, Geer. He's from

a sheltered workshop. Better reverse.

Goddammit!

This bloody city!

Should I call him?

- Yes.

- No, no, no.

Don't call, Geer.

- Here, here, here!

- Yeah, I see it.

- It started already.

- It's nearly finished.

I can't believe this f***ing city.

- Now what?

- Now what?

My liver is starting to act up.

- A beer, I say.

- Beer.

We can't do this.

We are the champions!

Guys, phone call from Youssoef.

- Keessie, Keessie!

- Quiet, please. Shut up.

The next song is for Marjan.

A romantic song from Rotterdam.

Stamp your testicles into mash

stamp your testicles into mash

stamp your testicles into mash

and your dick into stew

Niek, here's 50 euros,

go and have a good f***.

- We'll wait here for you.

- That's OK. Let's just go.

Come on, man. Hurry.

You're not gay, are you?

- Screw.

- Off you go.

Show them.

Go and polish that German helmet.

- I was waiting for you.

- Were you?

By the way, how's your whore, Lee?

I can still see her there.

Last year December. Freezing.

Short skirt, high heels.

And two black eyes.

Her pimp gave her those.

- You shouldn't have taken her in right away.

- I didn't know she had a son.

Every night she fell asleep beside me

crying with fear.

- Feel that?

- Yeah.

Good, isn't it?

You don't get that at home, do you babe?

And now for some Chinese

acupuncture points.

I still don't know how he found out

where I live.

- Did he come and see you?

- I didn't know that.

OK...

...please keep your lips sealed

about this, guys.

I was standing behind the door.

Anita opens it.

I pulled him into the hallway...

...and I killed him with a crowbar

from the garage.

We wrapped him up in a carpet...

...and dumped him in the river.

He still hasn't been found.

When we were rolling him up,

he started whimpering.

I had to hit him three times again.

The hallway was covered in blood.

We spent two days hosing it down.

- Just kidding.

- Goddammit.

Jesus. Jesus, man,

I'm sobering up all of a sudden.

There, I gave her a good time

sliding her up and down my Euromast.

Nice work, Niek.

Goddammit.

Goddammit.

Well, that was the shawarma.

- Geer.

- Lee.

- Friend. Do you mind me calling you friend?

- Course not.

- How do you think...

- Right.

...we'll get home now?

Hello, this is your captain speaking...

...we're leaving for Rotterdam

in a few minutes.

So please get in now.

It's working. Come on.

We're going to Rotterdam!

Man, we laughed our heads off.

Know who's laughing the loudest?

Uncle Houssein, who's coming to renovate.

It's your own fault.

No mentality at all.

Bunch of losers.

I went there early with schedules,

sponges, bananas, everything.

And I'm standing there like a fool.

You treated it like a fishing trip.

I told you:
Take the train.

But, no, what does that camel know?

Start at 1 pm on the dot.

But, no, what does that camel know?

But who was the only one here

who knew how to save this garage?

The camel.

I'm leaning over backwards for you.

You're a disgrace for marathon running.

- Take it easy, all right.

- I won't. We were working on something.

- It's about my job too.

- You're only here for the subsidy.

- Kees!

- It's true, isn't it.

- Which subsidy?

- On your clubfoot and your descent.

Other than that we didn't need you.

You don't have a job,

you earn us money.

Is that true, Gerard?

Well...

Well, congratulations, Kees.

Wonderful. Just great.

- Yous, stop.

- Get lost, man.

Wait up. Goddammit, Yous,

stand still.

I haven't been receiving subsidy for you

for a year. Do you hear me?

You're on the payroll.

Like the others.

The guys don't know,

but there's a lot they don't know.

The garage is just as much yours

as of the others.

What's wrong, man?

Cancer.

I've got cancer, Yous,

of the esophagus.

It spread to the lungs.

I won't get better.

I've got a few months left. Maximum.

- Since when?

- It's been going on for a while.

No one knows, apart from you.

I'd like to keep it that way.

- Jesus, Geer...

- I want life to continue...

...normally for as long as possible.

Got that? OK?

Leentje will be desperate. OK?

I want to spare her this.

And Harry.

And...

...the guys.

Look, everything would change.

Stop it with that marathon, goddammit.

And then what? Get chemo?

You guys come by with a cake

and give the garage to your uncle.

What about Leentje then?

Right?

And my Harry?

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