De Helleveeg Page #2

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the child out of the room?

Albert, go and play upstairs.

I'll call you when we eat.

Dear Lord, the misfortunes

cast upon this house...

And now?

Now it's no longer a case

of whether I want to marry Peter.

I will have to marry Peter.

But how?

- Just quickly, before it shows.

How could you let that happen? We've

always kept such a close eye on you.

You know damn well how it happens.

Don't pretend you're innocence itself.

Don't make me say

it was a dirty toilet seat.

Peter is the father and we've been,

well... careless.

Does he know?

- He'll be here tomorrow to talk about it.

I'm so ashamed.

- Be ashamed about something else.

We've always set a good example.

Another option is to get rid of it.

- That I should live to see the day!

I'm fetching Albert. He doesn't know

what's going on and he hasn't eaten yet.

How's the courtship going?

I don't approve of what you've done.

- Done what?

Making up a story to create a break

between Tiny and me.

What you mean "making up"?

It's a dirty trick, especially

for a policeman, to dream up a story.

The truth, and nothing but the truth.

She's not infertile.

She's pregnant.

Here, this belongs to Tiny.

There is no letter. What's more,

I've never been examined.

I'm as fertile as anything.

I get pregnant from sitting in wet grass.

Henneman asked me to give you this.

Infertile as a result of inflammations...

- Enough.

What it boils down to is

that you told Henneman the truth...

...to get rid of him and that you lied to me

to marry me.

Or not?

All right, because I'm no longer

asking for your hand in marriage...

...there's no point in waiting for your

parents. Give them my regards.

What's the last word?

Erm... hourglass.

- Let me have a look.

Yes, hourglass. Well done.

Bye, old chap.

Something the matter?

Hey, are you ill?

That's normal when you're pregnant.

Now what's up?

I've had a miscarriage.

You make your bed, you lie in it.

It's a sin. They say that God punishes

but here He's offered a solution.

She could have married well.

That superintendent has a good future.

Let's go to bed.

Wait...

Your last wages.

You're going to do the housekeeping.

Mother is too ill.

That means I can never go out.

- Exactly.

At last, there you are.

I thought you were ill.

Go and make some tea.

Be nice to Grandma.

Here's your guest again.

Good to see you, young Albert.

Wait for me, we're going into town.

Looking for something?

- The woman who lives above the place.

She left. Years ago.

She runs a dog kennel

in the industrial estate.

I'm in trouble, young Albert,

because of a dirty woman.

She'll have to suffer for it,

never mind the consequences.

Is that why you put that knife

in your bag?

What are you going to do?

- Scare her or stab her. I'll have to see.

If something nasty happens,

get out and wait for me at the bus stop.

What do you want?

I might leave my dog Bobby here

for the holidays.

I'll lock up the Bouvier first.

You don't have a dog.

- She doesn't know that.

Don't I know you?

I wouldn't know why.

I don't know if my Bobby

would like it here.

It stinks and it's airless.

They get high quality dog food

three times a day...

...and clean water all the time.

And they get taken out every day.

I keep thinking I know you

from somewhere.

We did meet once, when you lived

over the fish market.

There was also such a stench then.

I've never lived over a fish market.

I don't know you.

I thought I did, but I was wrong.

Not true. I came to see you upstairs.

There was a stench of rotting eel.

You're mistaken.

I have never seen you before.

And my kennel is full up.

That woman did some really evil things,

young Albert.

Things your mother knows about.

What evil things?

- I should've killed her.

But that would be something worse...

...than what she did.

I didn't want to give her that joy.

Did you notice her fingers?

Those dirty nails. Dirt underneath.

You wouldn't trust her with your dog.

The maid has just made

a pot of tea.

Could the butler take it upstairs

so that the maid can peel the spuds?

You look pale.

Are you feeling sick?

I don't feel well.

- The doctor is upstairs.

Ask him for some pills.

That quack makes a mint out of her.

He's here all the time.

He can spare a few pills.

Doctor, I'm not dying am I?

You've improved. Drink a lot and

you'll feel better in a few weeks' time.

I'll feel better, he says.

It can't be worse than this.

I keep having to be sick and...

Doesn't he give you something?

- The doctor is no use.

They might as well send a plumber.

It's coming out at both ends.

Pour me some tea.

I've got this bad taste in my mouth.

Have a cup yourself. Drinking a lot is

good for everyone, the doctor says.

So let's drink.

Aren't you feeling well?

The tea will do you good.

You look so pale, young Albert.

I had some of Grandma's tea.

Does tea often make you feel sick?

No, only today.

I'll make you a hot aniseed drink.

That will help.

There I go again.

She's upstairs in bed like a queen

and I'm just a skivvy.

That's my lot.

But it's not a lottery lot, I can tell you.

Your lot... ever thought about it?

Young Albert Egberts, top of the class,

the brainy one.

You can rebel against your lot.

A French Revolution on your own.

Don't be surprised

if there's a revolution here.

Young Albert, it's meant to be a surprise.

Grandma told me to give it for Easter

and your birthday, but I'll give it now.

You look pale. Are you ill?

Must be the milk.

Were you dreaming?

Of me?

Why is Grandma so ill?

Gall stones.

And a lot of silly pretending.

Shall I cheer you up a little?

If I get some of your chocolate egg...

...I'll tell you about Uncle Hasje

and the Papuans.

OK.

You know that Papuans are warriors.

They don't have guns

but they shoot arrows at the Dutch.

Poisoned arrows. With real poison.

One arrow and you're a goner.

But what you don't know is

that they hardly wear any clothes.

Instead, the men wear penis sheaths.

Do you know what that is?

First some chocolate or I'll stop.

The reason is that they always have

a hard... an erection.

That's when the penis isn't like

when you pee, but it's up here.

Straight up.

And they shove this sheath over it.

That's just their custom.

They tie the sheath with a string

round the neck...

...and under the balls. To keep it in place.

They don't teach you that at school.

You need your Aunt Tiny for it.

Do you want to hear more?

- Yes.

Koos Kassenaar wants to get married.

- Who?

You don't know him. He's from Breda.

Should I do it?

I'd be stuck in Breda.

I'll miss you.

You dirty-minded sod.

He's coming. In a fantastic suit.

He had to erm...

Could you knot my tie for me?

Nice and tight.

Oh, your nose

shines like a billiard ball.

You can't go to the altar like that.

I don't want any powder on my face.

- No?

You're shiny all over.

Come here a minute.

Ouch, I've got a very sensitive skin.

- But you've got a shiny face.

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