De Helleveeg Page #3

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All right, but you're taking my skin off.

Koos...

What have you got on your face?

Is that what they do in Breda? Before

their wedding day they sit in the sun?

You with your freckles, too.

I can't be on a photo with you like this.

Martina Antonia Maria van der Serckt...

...will you take Kornelis Lucas Maria

Kassenaar to be your wedded husband.

And will you be true to him for better or

for worse, in sickness and in health?

Yes.

Hello dear people, hello to you all.

Hello Koos, nice party.

You'll need it mainly for pissing.

What. What do you mean?

You don't seem to know much

about Tiny.

Getting some fresh air.

What did the apostles do after

the miracle of the loaves and the fishes?

Come with me.

After the miracle of the loaves...

they were stuck with the leftovers.

Why didn't you tell me earlier?

There was nothing to tell.

It's not true.

You could have said there was a rumour.

I look an idiot at my own wedding.

I didn't know of any rumours.

- I've been misled.

I was supposed to be infertile. Fell

wide-legged out of a tree on a branch.

I'd never have children, the doctors said

and now I am expecting my third.

Koos, don't believe gossip.

Anyone can see you're a fertile couple.

The honeymoon is off.

Tomorrow we'll go to the doctor

to be referred to a specialist.

I want certainty.

And our honeymoon in Lugano?

I'll claim the money from the insurance.

No honeymoon until I'm sure.

I'd so been looking forward to Lugano.

Get into a normal dress

because we're leaving in half an hour.

Young Albert...

Go and ask one of those

waiters for a sharp wire cutter.

Young Albert, how are you feeling?

I can see you're ill.

You're white as a sheet.

I want to go to Breda.

- You can't go to Breda like that.

Aunt Tiny needs me.

She has no children.

I have to be her son in the holidays.

Off they go.

Good riddance of bad rubbish.

Go and lie down and you'll feel better.

- OK.

Poor boy.

Are you all hot?

Move up.

Do you know it can grow?

And something comes out

that's not pee?

Before long, seed will come out

to make kiddies.

And nothing at all comes out...

Your Uncle Koos...

Well, something comes out of it...

...but it's lazy seed.

Remember him shouting at me

on our wedding day?

We went to the hospital for

an examination, and what do you think?

Your Uncle Koos is as sterile as hell.

So Peter Porter was wrong

about that letter?

What letter?

- From the hospital.

He showed it to you. I was there.

He got it from the policeman.

It said you couldn't have children.

Oh, that nonsense.

Now I remember.

The porter stood there bragging.

Men... Yuck...

I'll get you a sandwich.

You're better now.

Albert, one thing: Never mention

that letter when Koos is there.

It was forged.

I can't show you it was forged

because I tore it up.

It could lead to great misunderstandings.

You don't want to be part of that.

Don't forget.

Maaike Boezaardt here. Hello?

- Hello, neighbour.

What do you mean... blood.

Can't you be any clearer?

Get me Aunt Tiny or Uncle Koos.

They're not here.

- They can't have left you alone?

They don't appear.

- Have you looked everywhere?

They're in the bedroom.

The bed's full of blood.

- What's going on?

Yes, young Albert.

Your aunt is still losing blood.

Shouldn't you go to the doctor?

I will, one day.

I don't mind the creatures

but I do mind their mess.

Hurry up and get in. We'll be late.

Stop moaning...

...or I'll throw you out and you can sit

beside the road with your pillow.

Tiny, sit straight. If you go smack into the

windscreen we're even more in trouble.

I'm enough in trouble with a man

who looks for offspring elsewhere.

Why are you so quiet, young Albert?

You don't mind it being a bit later?

Good thing you rang them.

I want to go and see my parents.

They mustn't think...

Stop nagging-

I'll tell him what's what.

- There's a boy in the car.

I'll throw it in their faces.

That mother of yours for a start.

See you next time.

How's things?

- Great, let's say.

Nearly bled to death for a change.

But otherwise moonlight and roses.

And you, Hanny?

We're going to cheer them up

in Lynx Street.

Thanks for having me to stay.

Had a good time?

- Yes.

Do you feel like going? Or not?

Keep your mouth shut.

The party hasn't started yet.

Party!

I'm wearing my slave's outfit. I'll have

to crawl through the dust for them.

Party. Yes. But not for me.

They get me all the way from Breda

to work for them.

They all knew I was kept as a slave

but nobody took action.

Congratulations.

Congratulations everybody.

Mother, you too.

Tiny, stop that and come here.

Or go to the kitchen.

- Don't cry.

You know her. She'll be OK.

No expense spared.

Are you going to order me around

like you used to?

Nice dress!

Everybody one teaspoonful

and there'll be enough for you all.

Hey, young Albert Egberts...

...top of the class. Tell me:

A ruby wedding, what does that mean?

A fortieth wedding anniversary.

That's true. And how old

is your mother now?

Forty-two.

- Forty-two.

Yes, typical for

those hypocritical Catholics.

First it's their daughter's 42nd birthday...

...and a week later it's their 40th

wedding anniversary.

Forty-two minus forty is two.

Hanny was two

when they got married at last.

We kept being harangued about morals

but you didn't bother to get married.

Hush, Tiny. Quiet.

A look at them sitting there.

The Royal couple.

Making a servant of their own daughter.

That's enough, Tiny.

We couldn't get married.

What?

- Don't be provoked.

I was in prison, in Veenhuizen.

- I say!

There was no work in the 30s.

I went grape picking in France.

Then I heard I was going to be a father.

I went straight home.

After the border there was a man who

pulled out a knife.

I stabbed him in the guts

with the grape scissors.

I spent eighteen months behind bars.

When I got out we married immediately.

Gut Ham was two the.

We moved house straight away

and that's how it happened.

So that your new neighbours

wouldn't know.

Do I hear that only now?

Now I understand why you're not really

part of the family.

Because for two years

you were illegitimate.

The eldest daughter was made

assistant mother...

"because my real mother was too ill

or so they said.

And you never stopped meddling with me

and being a tyrant.

I don't know what

you're talking about, Tiny.

I only did what I was told to do.

When I got married

I gave you good advice.

Good advice. Bad actions.

Haven't I always been a good mother?

You've been no mother at all to me.

Your two youngest children

were brought up by your eldest daughter.

To punish her for being unwanted.

And when she was married, you said I

couldn't leave home before I was twenty.

Supposedly because I was not a good

girl and couldn't be trusted out of doors.

But in fact it was

because you needed me as a skivvy.

That's enough.

You have kept me on a short lease

on the pretext of that very bad thing.

But that very bad thing

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