Dead Hooker in a Trunk

1

I'm not going back next time.

Darkness all my own.

This is a darkness

all of my own.

The darkness all my own.

No one's got me by.

But not this time,

no, no.

Now run.

Bring to life.

I'll make you think

I'm into you.

No one but myself.

I won't gamble my heart

on love.

Gamble my heart on love.

Oh, so it's all my fault.

That you're running away

from me.

You said one kiss

was nothing.

Well, then one

turned into three.

Oh, so it's all my fault.

That you're running away

from me.

- Well, then one

turned into three.

What are you doing?

Don't do this.

- F***ing a**hole.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh

Oh, Lord and then Christ

gonna save my soul.

- Open the door!

- Are you awake?

- They're sleeping.

- F***ing c*nt!

Why do you have to-

Go ahead.

Here.

Go ahead.

Pull the trigger,

you stupid b*tch.

F***ing cow.

Baby.

B*tch!

- What the f***?

Merde!

- I'll call you later tonight.

- Sure.

Let me guess.

You want me to pick up your

goody-two-shoes little friend

from saving orphans

or something.

- It's youth group, actually.

Morning.

- Morning!

Can we go pick up some sh*t?

- Yeah.

- Thank you.

- Okay, that is so not fair.

- I'll pick up your little

friend from his youth group,

and then you two

can come with us to pick up.

- You know, whatever.

- Morning.

Pleasant day.

Nice to see you.

- Jesus Christ, our Lord.

And Savior

keeps me on my best.

Behavior.

When I'm all alone.

Out to pasture.

Light will kill the dark.

So much faster.

Jesus Christ.

Everyone!

Jesus Christ.

I need you now.

I need you now.

- Have you accepted Jesus Christ

as your personal Savior?

- You came.

That's totally awesome.

This is my youth group.

- Cool.

- Fist ups!

Replay.

- We were just doing some

totally awesome brainstorming

on our next

anti-pornography bake sale.

It's pretty cool.

And that was-l wrote that.

- That's great.

- Are you losers

ready to go yet?

- You brought

your sister's friend too.

How was your concert last night?

- What the f***

are you talking about?

- F***!

- Awesome.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah.

Thanks.

- Sorry.

I should get off you.

- No complaints here.

- That was probably one

of the more exciting things

that's happened

at one of these events.

- No sh*t.

- Look,

she is Satan.

I might have known.

Did she try to kiss the priest?

- I don't know.

He wouldn't do that, though.

- She's amazing.

- Just forget about it.

She's not even worth it.

- If you say so.

- So I've never seen somebody

catch on fire

at a church before.

You guys think

that means something?

- Maybe you died.

So the whole church lit on fire,

and we all died,

and then we didn't

even realize it,

and now we're stuck

in that waiting room

between life and death.

- Purgatory?

- Yeah!

Purgatory.

So this car is purgatory.

- The car is not purgatory.

- So the car is purgatory.

But we've all lived, like,

these messed-up lives,

so the dude upstairs

calling the shots

doesn't know

if we're going up or down

because it's, like,

a complicated decision,

and you're such, like,

a goody-two-shoes

that maybe you haven't even

had the opportunity

to make a bad decision,

so they can't let you in

until they know

if you're good because

you choose to be good, right?

- I choose to do good things

because I'm a nice person.

- I'm just saying it

like I see it.

Perfect.

- What the f*** is that smell?

- Awesome.

- Actually,

I think these are mine.

- Oh, you think those are yours?

There is a dead body

in the trunk!

With drugs...

and things.

- We have to call the police

right now.

- No.

We don't know

how she got in there.

- What do you mean we don't know

how she got in there?

Who cares?

That's for the police

to figure out.

It's not like you guys had

anything to do with it, right?

Right?

- Last night is really fuzzy

right now.

- Yeah?

Well, you better make it pretty

f***ing unfuzzy pretty quick.

There is a dead hooker

in a trunk,

and that is a big f***ing deal!

- Just let me f***ing think.

- Hey.

You guys okay?

You having car problems?

- No.

No problem.

- What about him?

- Oh, he has

acid reflux disorder.

Sometimes, you know,

he just has to let it all out.

- Yeah, my brother-in-law

has that too, sometimes.

- Thank you so much

for stopping.

- Oh, well, you're welcome.

Which way are you guys going?

- Why?

- Well, I just spent

a half an hour going through

a roadblock back that way.

Thought I'd save you

some trouble seeing as your-

your friend

has an infliction and all.

- Thank you so much.

That's really good to know.

We'll keep it in mind.

- F*** off now.

- Yeah, thanks.

- Okay, get in the f***ing car.

- No.

We go to the police.

- Get in the car,

or I'm leaving without you.

- Let's go, little man.

- Drive still, okay?

- Hi, there.

- Hi.

- We'd like a room.

Now, I know this isn't enough

for a room,

but my friend out there

wants to make up the difference.

Oh, yeah.

- You got yourselves a room!

- You know, that was pretty fast

thinking there, sis.

- I'm surprised it worked.

I thought he might

have some questions.

- Like why she's not moving

or talking?

- Well, maybe he just thought

she was shy.

- I'm going to be sick.

- Can you wait, please?

I almost have her rinsed out.

- I think I'll be okay.

I made a bed for her

in the other room.

I thought it would be nice if

she had somewhere nice to stay,

and that creepy hotel clerk

still thinks that she's alive,

so maybe we should play along.

She deserves to stay somewhere

nice to stay tonight.

She's done a lot for you guys

and for us.

It must suck to be in a trunk.

- So now what?

- We take her into the woods,

and we bury her.

- I don't approve of that.

- You don't even have a shovel.

- I saw one outside.

I'll go get it.

Look after them, okay?

- Okay.

Careful.

- This is nice.

It's like when you used to

live with us.

My mom said it would be like

getting a sister,

but it wasn't really like that.

It didn't seem like you were

related to me at all.

It seemed like you were just

my friend that was a girl,

like a girlfriend.

- Yeah.

You're my best friend.

Well, kind of like

my only friend, but...

I just-

I just hate how stubborn

she gets, you know?

- Do you think they had anything

to do with it?

- No.

I don't.

- What are you doing?

- I'm calling the police.

- Excuse me, ma'am?

- Me?

- Yes.

We're just following up

on a call we received.

Can we talk to you for a minute?

- Sure.

Why not?

- We received

an anonymous phone call

that you may have

some information

regarding

the missing person case.

- Nope.

Wasn't me.

- Hmm, sell, the caller said

you might be reluctant

to give information.

We just have a few questions.

That's all.

- I told you boys

I don't what you're talking-

- Ma'am, we can do this here,

or we could take you down

to the station.

It's your call.

- Okay.

You win.

Now, what can I do for you?

- Oh, don't you worry.

This won't take long at all.

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