Dead Hooker in a Trunk Page #2

- Probably not.

The drugs are in the trunk.

See if I'm lying.

- Go get 'em.

- Today is the day

The threading will fade

Today you held me together

Fastens, stuffing, silk,

and feathers

Tied up

Ln lace

Lt won't be too long .

Yeah.

No.

It's just me.

Um... no, no, it's not that.

Everything's fine.

I just, um...

I'm not going to be able

to come in and help today.

Yeah, no,

everything's okay.

I just have to help

my friends out with something.

[whispering]

You guys!

That's just praying.

We're just doing some good

old-fashioned loving the Lord.

Okay.

Well, it's-

Okay, bye.

Thanks, guys!

Isn't that great?

That's what you want to hear

right when I'm talking

to my youth group leader,

you guys dropping a dead body.

- Sorry.

Maybe if one of us

wasn't stoned 24-7.

- Grab her bum.

I can't do it.

- What the f***?

- Gentlemen.

You have to undo us.

- No.

But I will leave the door open.

- F*** this sh*t, man.

I'm taking a break.

I don't need this sh*t.

- You're taking a break, huh?

- Yeah.

- And what union

of mentally inept workers

do you belong to, exactly?

- Get off my case.

- She's only on your case

because we care about you.

- I can't believe

you called the cops on me.

You are such a f***ing b*tch.

- Well, it looks like

you managed to escape

in your typical Sylvester

and Tweety sort of way.

- You're not as smart

as you f***ing think you are,

you f***ing geek.

- It was the right thing

to do, okay?

I mean, what are you doing?

I don't understand

why you can't see it.

Just because you find a body

and you think

you might be responsible,

you try to bury it?

- What am I supposed to do?

- I wish for once

you'd just listen to me, okay?

This is stupid.

You can't just dump it

and pretend it never happened.

- Well, you can't just

drive around

with a corpse in your car.

F*** it.

I'm gonna dump it.

- Do it.

- No, you're not.

- Get the f*** out of my way.

- Don't worry.

I got this.

- Anyone else?

- No, I'm cool.

Let's just f***ing do it.

- I don't think we should.

Maybe we shouldn't.

- What did you say?

- Um, I'm all for burying her

and stuff like that.

I think it's a good idea.

I really think that

I do like it,

but, um...

it's broad daylight.

So maybe we shouldn't.

- Sh*t.

It is kind of sketchy.

We should probably wait

until it's dark.

- Can we do a pickup?

- Yeah.

- Thanks.

- We're going to

pick up drugs now?

- Yeah.

- Why?

- Isn't the trunk full of them?

- I need different.

- Any more f***ing questions?

- No.

- What?

- No.

- Good.

Well, let's go.

- Help her.

- Can you help me?

- F***ing cock punch! Cock punch.

- I'll be just a minute, okay?

- If we have to do this

one more f***ing time,

I'm going to lose

my f***ing mind.

- It's fine.

I'll be right back.

- How is it f***ing fine?

- Don't give me that.

- So you're just going to

leave me in the parking lot

for the rest

of the f***ing night!

Thank you.

Thank you!

- Nice.

- Get out of my f***ing face.

- Is that any way

for a lady to talk?

- Whatever, Liberace.

- Hey.

- I'm just here

for my sh*t, okay?

So don't give me

any of your sh*t.

- I'll get your bags.

- You know, you and I

don't really talk much.

- No, we don't.

- Well, we have a minute.

- Yup.

You look pretty... or...

- Thanks.

- So, like, you...

can't even try

to clean up without me?

- Is your friend

waiting for you?

That little juvie psycho b*tch?

No, wait, wait, wait.

I'm sorry.

I'm just-

I miss you.

- Yeah, well...

I really miss you too, okay?

But I'm not such an a**hole

about it.

- Help me out.

- So are you f***ing anyone?

- What?

No.

- Sorry, I mean, like,

do you have a boyfriend?

- I'm not gay.

- Girlfriend?

- No, I don't.

- Really.

Not even you and my sister?

Because, you know,

I've always kind of wondered

about the two of you.

- Things with your sister and I

are going very fine,

and I don't need your help,

thank you.

- Really?

How well can they be going

if everybody thinks you're gay?

You should probably

man up man up a little.

- You should probably try

acting more like a lady.

- Yeah?

Whatever.

- Hello?

We have Chinese food here.

- The door.

- Yeah.

Shut up.

- Hello?

- Who is it?

- Chinese food guy.

- I didn't order Chinese.

- My boss told me,

Chinese food here.

- What the f***!

Stop!

What the hell?

Get that-

No!

No, don't!

- Where's the drugs?

- Dude, dude,

before you even start,

I didn't mean to hit you.

It's just,

you called the f***ing cops,

and you know

I f***ing hate f***ing cops.

Sorry.

- Where are we?

- We're just here waiting for-

- Where are we?

- Wait,

shut the f*** up.

- Attention, please!

- Wait.

Where did you say she went?

Sh*t.

- Hey, assfuck!

- B*tch!

- I don't know.

But it certainly sounds like

some very f***ed-up sh*t

that the police

would most certainly

be very interested in

investigating.

Don't you think?

I already told you.

We were picking up drugs.

I don't know what kind.

Lots probably,

knowing her.

I'm not lying.

- We need to get up, okay?

- We do it all the time.

We always pick up drugs.

Yes.

- All right.

All right.

- I will testify to that.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

These aren't really

my friends, okay?

My sister has

an illegal firearm.

That might be something else.

Sh*t!

- What were all those noises?

- Son of a b*tch!

- What happened to your eye?

- Why are we stopped?

- I need to check

the f***ing map.

Are you okay?

- I'm totally freaking out here.

- Not you!

- It's fine.

We just need to stay calm,

regulate our breathing,

and stay focused.

And find a drug store.

- She needs serious

medical attention.

- Well, there is no hospital in

the middle of Buttfuck, Nowhere.

My apologies.

- It's fine.

I can fix us.

We'll just find some supplies,

and we'll be fine.

I mean...

You're fine right?

- Actually, I'm quite

f***ing far from being fine.

Why do people always ask

if someone's okay

when something

bad happens?

I'm f***ed up!

I'm f***ing f***ed

right the f*** up!

- She said not to freak out.

Have a cigarette or something.

It'll calm you down.

- Smoking's bad for her.

- I don't think it's going to

f*** me up anymore.

- Just saying,

the smoke gets in-

- Hey.

I can take care of myself.

I don't need you

fussing over me.

- You guys just

almost died today,

so, you know,

I was worried about you.

- You know what?

I don't need your help!

- What the f***?

- What the f***?

- Get in the car!

Turn around!

Get in the f***ing car.

Now!

Get her in the car.

Get her in the car.

Help her in the car!

Ln!

Get in.

Come around!

God damn it!

Get in!

Hold this!

Hold this.

F***, man.

- There's nothing

in the f***ing car.

This is all I could find,

and the gas station

didn't have sh*t.

- It's fine.

Just give me it.

The tape.

- Is she okay, or...

- You'll have to give me a hand.

How's it look?

- Lt looks good.

You look like an anime character

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