Dead Hooker in a Trunk Page #4

- Okay.

First we have that, um...

we have to take care of

that dead hooker first.

- Right.

- Irate driver.

- Come on.

Now, that's-

come on!

Sorry I acted that way.

- So she goes up and one-punches

the douche bag

and brings it back,

and then the repressed guy,

the guy I was talking

about before,

he sews it back on.

So I'm kind of worried about it,

but, well,

since you're going to be

prescribing me stuff anyway,

I would totally appreciate

anything off this list too.

Anything.

Anything.

- Hi.

Do you have any string or thread

or something to fix my pants?

- Yeah, I think I have some.

Dude, what happened?

- I walked into a door.

- You can just take that sh*t

if you want.

- Thanks.

Do you know this girl?

- Yeah, I do.

She's rad.

- Do you know where she lives?

- I didn't know

they let animals in here.

Hey!

Awesome, you're here too.

- What?

- With my sister.

- No, she took off.

- Where is she?

- You know what?

I think I have an idea.

Come on, let's go.

Yeah, that's

looking much better.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Who's this?

- It's Billy.

I found him.

- Hi, Billy.

Can I hold him?

- No.

- I have an arm.

Let me hold him.

- Don't drop him.

He's not acid.

- Hi.

- Okay, we should go.

- Hi.

Hi.

He's funny, eh?

- Good old predictable sis.

Always two steps behind me.

- F*** off and die.

- Don't be a b*tch.

- Tough.

I thought I was.

- This is going well.

- Well, maybe you guys

shouldn't have all ditched me.

- Hey.

You ditched me.

- We were going

our separate ways.

- Look, can we stop this?

We've already been here.

I know where to bury her.

- You're the one who drove off,

and now you're pretending

to be the hurt one?

- Oh, f*** you.

- You know what?

F*** you!

- Can we just quit this sh*t?

I'm f***ing tired of it.

F*** it.

She obviously doesn't have

any family

or anyone that cares about her,

so it's our responsibility

to put her to rest.

That's what everyone

wants to do, right?

That's what we all think is

the right thing to do.

Are you going to hit me?

- No.

You're right.

Guys, I'm sorry I was being

such a c*nt.

- Good.

No more weird twists.

And maybe because I know

the father so well,

he won't ask

too many questions.

- Oh, my God,

that's him.

That's the guy.

- What?

Where?

- Right across the street.

- Motherf***er.

- That is so weird.

What is the coincidence of him

being right there?

- Where's he going?

- Um, guys.

I think he's waking up.

- I'm just

getting my tools together.

- Oh, my God!

- You don't even

worry about that.

You know, I thought doing that

would wake you up.

But who knows?

Medical mystery.

- We decided we didn't want you

to reproduce.

- You blinded my sister.

- You snuck up behind her,

and you knocked

her f***ing eye out.

- I didn't do it.

- Yeah?

You killed a girl,

and you put her

in my f***ing trunk!

You're a serial killer.

We know.

We read the papers.

Who knows how many other people

are dead because of you?

The bat proves it,

and this...

is how we decided...

to deal with you!

- Stop!

- No, assfuck.

You don't get a say

in the matter.

Ice pick!

- Ice pick.

- No, it wasn't me.

- Hammer!

- Hammer.

- And after all

I've done to you

How can it be

You still believe in me

I try hard to be more

what you want me to be

But I can't help how I act

When you're not

here with me

I try hard to be strong

But sometimes I fail myself

And after all

I've promised you

So faithfully

You still believe in me

I want to cry .

- Dude, I thought he was gay.

- What?

- I thought he was gay.

- Get it, though.

- Well, apparently not.

Guys, I'm really tired.

Maybe we should just have

a good night's sleep

and then meet up

to bury the body tomorrow.

- Okay.

- What, really?

- Yeah.

Do you need a ride home?

- No, I think I'm just going to

take Billy for a walk.

- Okay.

Is that all you got?

- I don't know

where she could be.

- She was acting all weird

last night,

like acting kind

and everything.

I tried calling her,

and no one answered.

- What, is she like our

unofficial leader or something?

- Well, her room is trashed,

but it kind of always

looks that way.

- Well, you're the smart one.

Why don't you go find a clue?

- Smart one?

It's not like we're all just

a big group of stereotypes.

- Um, I found a clue.

- What did you find?

- Remember when there was a body

in the trunk?

It's gone now.

- What?

- It's a business card. Business card.

Looks like someplace

your sister would go.

- You look like a little angel

when you're sleeping.

- I'm going to f***ing kill you.

- Like you killed my brother?

- What?

- Don't play coy.

I know you did it.

- Wait a minute.

The hooker was a guy?

- No.

I killed her.

You killed

who you thought was me

but was in actuality

my little brother

who just so happened

to borrow my baseball bat.

How is your sister by the way?

- Who the f*** are you?

- Don't you know by now?

Gentlemen?

We're going to need

a little bit of privacy.

- You've got to be

f***ing kidding me.

- I'm afraid not, dear.

- But you helped me.

- I know.

But it's only because

I want to be

the one to hurt you.

- I don't see her anywhere.

- Sh*t, she must be inside.

- I have an idea.

- Big man.

- If you're a very lucky girl,

you might get to find out.

But you'll probably be dead

by then.

What's that?

Excuse me?

I'm sorry.

I couldn't hear that.

Could you speak up?

No quip?

No smart remark?

I get it.

You're waiting for your friends

to bust in and save the day.

- Not even my friends

are that retarded.

- Hey, there, you b*tches,

who wants a piece of me?

Or are you all too busy

sucking cock

or rather fantasizing about cock

to suck in the future

or past cock sucking

experiences?

- And if you think that little

girl punch intimidates me,

you're even more pathetic

than I thought.

I mean, seriously,

what the f***?

What the f*** is wrong with you?

- What the f***'s

wrong with you?

- What the f***

is wrong with you?

Oh, my God.

- What the hell

is wrong with you?

- Good boy doesn't even cry.

Don't worry.

I've done this

hundreds of times.

- There is no way

I'm touching that thing.

- What the f***'s

wrong with you?

You have a forked cock.

Peace at last.

So much better.

Just the two of you

against me?

Oh, my God,

I'm so scared.

- Now it's fair.

- Well.

Actually still not fair.

Gentlemen?

Now it's fair.

- F***er!

- Did you just barf?

- A little in my mouth.

I'll get the dog.

- I'll get the hooker.

- Okay.

- She's beautiful, isn't she?

Just like all the others.

- That was my sister,

you sick f***.

It was you in the papers too,

wasn't it?

- I thought you were

the smart one.

Took you a little while

to figure it out, though,

didn't it?

- Don't come near me.

- Actually, I was thinking

more like in you.

And X marks the spot.

- Why?

What the f*** is wrong with you?

- Oh, all this aggression.

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