Dead Shack

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1

( bloodcurdling scream )

( door opens and closes )

( staggering )

It was a lonely night,

The feeling in the air

was turning,

Oh, baby take my hand

and close,

close your eyes,

I'll lead...

( gasps )

lead the way

the way to an end

( laboured breathing )

I know what I want you to,

to do to me,

( laboured breathing )

I know what I want you to,

to do to me,

Come on, come on

come on, come on

just take my hand

( closes car door )

( low growling )

Oh no... why am I so high?

( footsteps outside )

( fearful moaning )

( low heavy breathing )

( screaming )

No, no, no! No, no!

No!

( c*cks gun )

( screams )

( gun shot )

( whimpering )

( sobbing )

I know what I want you to,

to do to me,

What the f***?!

( horn honking )

( snarling )

( horn honking )

(horn honking )

( snarling and feeding sounds )

Come on, come on,

Come on, come on,

Just take my hand.

take my hand.

I know what I want you

to do to me

( arguing fades in )

...so what, now he needs...

his friends?

Yeah!

He f***in' does!

Want me to send you a

f***ing list of people

he can hang out with, Shane?

Maybe.

I'm sure he doesn't approve

of all the time

you spend with Mary.

Oh!

Now we're going there?

I thought we talked

about this.

Now we wanna talk about

f***ing Mar.

How many f***ing times do you

wanna talk about f***ing Mary?

I want to talk about Mary until

we get to the bottom of it!

That was bullshit,

you know that!

( message alert )

( message alert )

Yo, Jay!

Jason, yo.

You got my text, right?

You got- it was a dick.

Yeah.

You got that, right?

Yeah, I got it.

Ok. Get in.

( bumps head )

Ow!

What's up, big Jay?

Hey, Mr. Slade.

Hi, Miss Lisa.

Hey.

Hey Summer.

You know, why do you always

wait outside

when we come and pick you up?

You never let me in your house.

Are you- are you embarrassed

of me or something?

Like, what if I have to pee,

man?

No, man.

I just- you know, my house

is a trashy piece of ding dong.

No, my house is a way

trashier piece of ding dong.

There's no way, man.

Yeah, no, 'cause we're way

poorer than you-

Hey, Colin, come on.

We're not that poor.

And stop saying "ding dong".

You sound super lame.

Hey, there we go.

Ha ha!

Jesus Christ, Roger!

Don't text and drive, dad!

I got it!

I'm not texting, ok?

I'm checking my emails.

Alright, guys.

Let's go eat.

Summer, wake up

your brother.

Ok.

Oh, no.

Oh, come on, honey.

The Hilltop Diner I'm sure

is good enough

for your distinguished palate.

Yeah, Lisa, I hear that they

serve their chicken nuggets

with caviar.

Mmm, nuggets.

Eh, I'm not hungry.

Sure you don't want

somethin'?

Yeah, a top off.

Nobody likes a morning drunk,

Lisa.

Nobody likes a smart-ass,

Summer.

I like morning drunk Lisa.

I'm on vaycay mode.

Great catch, dad.

I hate you.

Be quick.

( snaps photo )

Yeah.

I'm gonna post that.

What'd you say?

I said "great catch".

And "I hate you".

( door opens )

Oh, wow.

Check out all the missing bros.

I mean, ugh.

One dude called himself "Gator".

What a dick.

Come on, Colin.

Don't be an a**hole.

Those guys are missing.

Dad, did you crack a window

open for Lisa?

Don't disrespect your maybe

future stepmom, please.

Ugh.

Oh, seriously dad,

don't settle.

What? She's nice.

Yeah, but so was Dolores

and Denise...

And Shannon and Lily.

Yes, and Michelle, too.

Michelle.

Oh, yeah, Michelle.

She was hot.

She was super hot.

Really hot.

I blew that one.

I blew it.

Yeah, it sucks.

And what can I get ya?

Oh, hi.

Uh, yeah.

We will start off with uh,

maybe some bigger menus.

( dry laugh )

Ok.

Uh, can I get some coffee?

You know, com- don't listen

to him.

He's making me sound like

I'm an irresponsible parent.

We'll just get four beers,

please.

( silence )

Nope, still nothing.

I'll get the Trucker's Breakfast

please and thank you.

Uh, salad, please.

Uh, can I get toast and jam,

please?

Uh, can I just get some

eggs and sh*t?

Colin, come on.

Can I have some eggs

and sh*t, please?

Eggs and sh*t

coming right up.

Thank you.

Shouldn't take too long.

That's- you wanna

take those?

No?

Ok, we'll just leave them.

So, guys, who's excited,

huh?

Camping trip?

I'm excited.

Going to a cabin.

We're gonna act

like rednecks,

or people who don't trust

the government, huh?

You already don't.

I know I don't, yeah.

So, Jay?

Not excited?

Your dad doesn't take you

camping or something?

No, my dad's not really

the camping type, Mr. Slade.

Yeah, 'cause your dad's more

of the dick-sucking type, right?

( smack )

Stop!

Woah, Colin, too much. Uh uh.

No, I mean, that's what

Jason says

and Jay knows I'm just

messin' with him.

That's how we roll.

What, you act like a little

douche and then Jason

politely takes it?

Hey, I don't just take it.

You kinda do, Jay.

Yeah, you kinda do,

Jay, honestly.

You need to toughen up

a little bit, you know?

Start with a power five,

you know?

See, a power five.

Like this, come on.

Power five!

Like that.

We'll work on it.

We'll work on it

this weekend.

Or you could just be super

butchy like Summer.

Hey, shut up, pube-head.

Uh uh, stop it.

Stop what?

Stop wasting food, Colin.

Ketchup is not food,

Ronald Reagan.

Ok, stop it now-

Ooooh!

Guys, come on!

( laughing )

Oh man!

Sh*t, Colin!

Colin, enough. Seriously.

Summer, language.

Jason, bathroom.

I'm sorry about that, Jay.

That was super trashy of me.

What?

It was funny.

Uh uh.

What?

Nope!

Ok, alright.

Put it down!

Ok, just leave the condiments

alone.

Please.

I swear both of you are adopted,

you know that?

( laughing ) That's some funny

sh*t, dude.

Seriously, you should come

by my dad's cottage.

You know, I'm gonna start

my own business-

Blue chips, paint chips, stocks.

Yeah.

Yeah, we like to go

to the casino-

Paint chip stocks?

Yeah.

Seriously, you should

come to my dad's cottage,

it is so chill.

Hot tub.

So. Chill.

Um...

excuse me, I need to...

get through...

Hey! Hey, broskis!

Can you let the kid through,

please?

Dude.

I think that kid just got

his first period.

What a fine young woman

you've become.

( chuckles )

Sweetie, don't let the big bad

bros scare ya.

They might look pretty

but they ain't that smart.

I like you guys better drunk

and quiet.

The more you drink the less you

talk and the more I like you.

Hear that, bro?

She thinks we're pretty.

Why don't you go get the rest

of that taken care of, sweetie?

Alright, thanks.

I'll just...

Yeah, let's get lit!

Don't forget to thank

the nice lady, Jason.

Don't forget to ask your friend

for a tampon, Jason.

( laughing )

( door slides open )

I had coffee.

I saved you some sausages.

You like sausages, don't

you, Lisa?

Colin.

Yeah.

Of course she likes sausages.

( laughing )

We're talking about penises.

Couldn't find somewhere further,

could you?

Seriously, Roger.

Yeah, seriously, dad.

It's the cheapest place

that I could find on Craigslist,

alright?

You think that I can

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