Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts

[Thomas]:
Before we get rolling… *holds up food* This video is brought to you by Hello Fresh! You see this? You jealous? You jealous of this, bro? Well now you, too, have the power to begin cooking amazing din-dins like this one with 8 free meals! That's $80 off your first month of Hello Fresh. Just go to HelloFresh.com and enter the promo code: THOMASSANDERS80. You can't have this, though. This one's mine. Cook your own. Back to your regularly scheduled programming! *finger snap to alarm clock buzzing* Oh my gosh, I'm late! I got to do this video. Umm... Get ready? No... I don't have time to get ready... I can do this. I'm awesome and I can do this!

*falls face first, floored*

*Sanders Sides Intro*

[Thomas]:
*yawning* What is up everybody? *short yawn* How are you all doing? Comment below, because the human connection will make me feel like a person again. What? Sorry! That one was supposed to stay up here. *laughs* Help me. Ooh- There I go again. Hm- I'm just really... really… *yawn* ...tires. Tired! Can't talk. Because of the tires. I just- couldn't get to sleep last night and I think with that new addition that brings the grand total to... Um… everything. Everything is going wrong in my life. Even my thoughts are starting to go wrong.

[Patton]:
Ooohhh, come on, no! No. what are you talking about?!

[Thomas]:
Sorry! Umm... Let's talk about something else.

[Virgil]:
Yeah, let's.

[Roman]:
Uh oh! Here comes the noblest Roman of them all! What up, plebs?

[Patton]:
Oh, hey Roman! We were just talking about something else!

[Roman]:
Mmm- What?

[Patton]:
Yo- What?! Nothing else! There's nothin' else! Uhh, we were just talking about something and never anything else.

[Virgil]:
*aggravated sigh*

[Patton]:
*whispers* Is that okay?

[Roman]:
Wait, are you all seriously not gonna let me in on what's going on here?

[Virgil]:
*clears throat*

[Thomas]:
Patton already said we were... we were talking about something.

[Patton]:
♪ Singin' to myself 'cause I'm not uncomfortable at all. ♪

[Roman]:
Secrets, secrets are no fun, tell me now or else we're done!

[Thomas]:
Look, you don't want to know.

[Virgil]:
Unless you want to be deeply troubled.

[Roman]:
I do! Mystery loves company.

[Virgil]:
N-... It's "misery loves company".

[Roman]:
Not for me, it's not! I am not feeling any love OR misery, because it's a mystery for me alone! I have yet to receive my invite to the pity party. Thomas, come on! You can't have a bawl without a prince.

[Thomas]:
Just- leave it alone, Roman.

[Virgil]:
Seriously.

[Roman]:
*scoffs* I can't believe you're making me do this.

[Logan]:
What do you need?

[Roman]:
Logan! Do you know why everyone is so Moody B. Moans?

[Logan]:
Oh, goodness... are they still disconcerted?

[Virgil]:
That's putting it a little lightly, Logan.

[Logan]:
Or, your reaction is a little too extreme.

[Patton]:
Well, that's easy for you to say.

[Logan]:
Why wouldn't it have been easy to say...? It was an 8-word sentence. That's... not exactly laborious.

[Virgil]:
What he means is that you're not a great judge of what is and isn't an overreaction. Your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise.

[Logan]:
FALSEHOOD!

[Virgil]:
*snaps twice* I stand corrected.

[Patton]:
There's the one for today.

[Roman]:
Logan! *claps* Put on your blinders, or in this case take off your glasses. *laughs*

[Logan]:
What are you tal- What are you talking- What are you talking about...?

[Thomas]:
Look, I barely got any sleep. That's the best joke my creativity's got.

[Roman]:
*laughs* But seriously, ignore them for the time being and explain to me what is going on here!

[Logan]:
Well, last night, Thomas struggled to fall asleep due to persistent troubling thoughts about-

(overlapping voices cutting Logan off)

[Virgil]:
Shut up or I will shut you up!

[Thomas]:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA!!!

[Patton]:
♪ Hey now, hey now, stop what you are saying. ♪

[Roman]:
Whoa, you guys are acting fishier than the Kraken's crack.

[Patton]:
Eww.

[Virgil]:
Alright, so I'm acting fishy, so sushi- I mean- sue me.

[Roman]:
Don't act like that was an accident.

[Virgil]:
*sighs*

[Thomas]:
Everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the purp man.

[Roman]:
Just tell me. Blurt it out if it'll be easier! Like ripping... the sword from the stone!

[Thomas]:
That was... canonically not easy.

[Logan]:
Yes, only Arthur was able to remove the sword.

[Patton]:
May the odds be never in our favor...

[Logan]:
But, this isn't the sword in the anvil.

[Virgil]:
You mean, the sword in the stone?

[Logan]:
Why don't you read the book and see if you still need to correct me?

[Thomas]:
Ohhh! Sorry...

[Roman]:
I guess Disney was more faithful than we all thought!

[Patton]:
Huh!

[Logan]:
What I mean is that talking about this shouldn't be as impossible as liberating the sword from its ferric prison. I don't understand why we must prohibit any and all discussion about the intrusi-

(overlapping)

[Thomas]:
Please stop, seriously! Please! I really don't wanna think about it.

[Virgil]:
I'm gonna prohibit your breathing if you keep this up!

[Patton]:
You know exactly why we're not talking about it.

[Logan]:
But he's-

[Virgil]:
Logan, if you continue to push this...

[Thomas]:
*groans*

[Virgil]:
...we're gonna end up in really dangerous territory.

[Logan]:
Push... what, exactly?

[Patton]:
I'm sorry, but I can't condone any more of that kind of thinking! Please! Just...

[Virgil]:
Just- listen to US this time.

[Logan]:
*sighs*

[Virgil]:
We're going to talk about something else now, okay? Patton? What are we talking about?

[Patton]:
Uhh.. 2005's "Just Like Heaven" starring Mark Ruffalo and Reese Witherspoon?

[Virgil]:
...Sure!

[Thomas]:
Ugh! Great flick. *flicks finger* ...I'm really out of it.

[Roman]:
The very same "Just Like Heaven" that won the Teen Choice award for best chick flick?!

[Patton]:
You Ruffal-know it!

[Logan]:
Were there any other "Just like Heaven" films released in 2005 starring Mark Ruffalo and Reese Witherspoon?

[Roman]:
Heh. If they got married, then he'd be "Mark With-his-spoon".

[Thomas]:
*laughs* Am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made?

[Patton]:
That's ridiculous, Roman! Have you ever heard of what's mine is yours? They'd be Mr. and Mrs. "With-their-spoon".

[Roman]:
PATTON, THAT WAS MY JOKE! You hijacked my joke! You hi-JOKED!

[Virgil]:
You know what I never got about that movie?

[muffled audio]

[Roman]:
Why it won best chick flick? *laughs* I love "Just Like Heaven" and I'm not a chick!

[Logan]:
Of course you're not a chick. You're a metaphysical human being. A chick is a newly hatched bird.

[???]:
*not muffled* Have you ever imagined killing your brother?

[muffled audio ends]

[Virgil]:
N- HOW is she a ghost if she's not dead??

[Logan]:
Perhaps she was accidentally and unknowingly astral projecting?

[Patton]:
Ooh, OR maybe it was an out-of-body experience!

[Roman]:
I though astral projecting was an out-of-body experience?

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