Dean Page #6

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about the house.

Okay, okay, right, yeah.

Let's talk about the house.

We had an open house and...

Whoa, wait, wait.

We were gonna make the decision

- about the house together.

- Yeah, we did. I did.

And I...

Since you decided to run away.

Okay, I didn't run away.

I came out to meet

those ad people.

Can we just not do anything

with the house until I get back?

Okay?

Okay.

Well, you know,

you had a really good realtor.

- Yes, well done.

- To full asking price.

Oh, full asking price, yes.

Now how do I break

the news to my son?

Mmm.

Well, we could ask for some

extra time before closing.

People are understanding

about that.

He's just been at loose ends,

kind of, you know,

missing in action for a while.

Now he's in L.A.

I don't know what he's doing.

I keep thinking he's gonna

come home with a Mohawk

and face piercings.

People still get Mohawks?

Oh, if Dean thought it would

help him not get a job,

he'd get two Mohawks.

How do you...

How do you get two Mohawks?

I...

You put two Mohawks

together, and you...

I don't know.

It'd be sort of an "X,"

look like a heliport.

Maybe he's just trying

to figure himself out.

Yeah, he's been

trying for a while.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't

be talking about this.

- I don't want to cross any lines.

- Don't be silly.

You've already

crossed those lines,

and that's okay.

Okay.

Mmm, why don't I look

for some listings,

and we'll maybe look at

some places later this week?

- All right, sounds good.

- Yeah?

- It's a date.

- Hi.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- How are you?

- It's good to see you. Hey.

- Hi, you, too.

Um, you remember my friend Jill

from the party the other night?

- Yeah, hey, Jill.

- Hey.

Hey. Okay.

- She wanted to see the show too, so...

- Cool.

- So...

- You were wearing that same outfit

- the last time I saw you.

- Yes, I was.

Thank you for pointing

that out, I appreciate that.

We need to find a restroom,

like, right now.

Oh, yeah, uh, number one only.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- So I'm gonna go.

- Okay, bye.

- Yeah, I got to go.

- Really?

That's the game

you're gonna play?

- Oh, I'm not playing a game.

- Oh, aren't you?

- I can stay for a few.

- Thanks.

- So, okay, the artist...

- Nicky, come look at this.

- Oh, okay.

- Yeah.

Oh, yeah, hey, uh...

Just a sec.

Yeah, I can be there in,

like, ten minutes.

Yeah, totally.

Weird reception out here.

Yeah, in your face so hard.

I was just doing a bit.

Are you gonna stay,

or are you gonna go?

Um, I'll stay.

- Phew, what a relief.

- Yeah.

Uh, so Jill's, like,

your best friend?

- Is that the deal?

- Mm-hmm, yeah.

And you guys just

do everything together?

A lot of stuff.

You show up everywhere with her?

That's normal?

Do you have a best friend?

Um, kind of.

Former, I'd say.

- He ditched you?

- He got married.

But... we weren't romantic.

It's not like that.

- No, I get it.

- Yeah.

But you're a little sad

about it.

- Mmm, no, I think I'm...

- Nicky...

Look at this one.

Isn't his work powerful?

I want to put it above my bed.

Dean?

Hey.

Is that that guy

from that vampire show?

- That's Dean, huh?

- Yeah.

- Hey, Becca.

- Hi.

I thought you went

back to New York.

I extended my trip a little bit.

- Why don't you just get back to New York now?

- Yeah.

- I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to see you ever again.

- I don't.

Just so you know...

- We're done.

- Done.

- Me and you?

- Mm-hmm.

- Okay, yeah, I'm pretty sure we never started.

- Oh, my god.

All right, well, let's make

things real simple here, okay?

Why don't you just end

whatever you had going on

and just agree to

never talk to her again?

- Okay.

- Don't say another word to her

starting now.

- Okay.

- Ah! Not one more word.

- He got it.

- I'm sorry.

What was that?

- I just heard something.

- Let's go.

- Okay, okay, okay.

- You want it on the other side of the face?

- Oh, my god.

- You're in an art gallery right now.

- No, come on, you...

- I think he's really sorry

and he's not gonna say

another word.

- Hey, look at me. Come here.

- What?

- I'm sorry. I'm good, yeah?

- Look at me.

Oh, my god,

I'm... oh, yeah, yeah.

- Yeah.

- Uh-huh.

- Are you okay?

- I am, thank you.

Thanks.

I appreciate that.

That fake vampire, he's just

lucky I didn't lose my sh*t.

- Oh.

- Could kill a man, you know?

I took Kendo

in high school, so...

Is that...

Does that require sticks?

Not the way I do it.

By the way, Becca...

I mean...

There's nothing there.

- I don't know what she's... - oh, you

don't have to explain anything to me.

- I...

- No, I know, I know.

I know, I just... I figured

I'd just let you know.

You know, it's not like we're...

- Yeah, I mean, we're just...

- Yeah, we're hanging out.

- It's fine, yeah.

- I mean, you're visiting.

- Yeah, yeah.

- And I'm going out of town this weekend...

- Yeah. - ...So it's not

even like I'm around.

- You going out of town?

- Yeah.

Jill and I are gonna

drive up to San Francisco.

Cool.

That's nice, yeah.

It's funny, my friend Eric

and I were actually

gonna head out of town

this weekend.

He was gonna show me

the bay area.

- Really?

- Yeah, some of the sights.

- Oh.

- Mm-hmm.

Well, I mean, I guess

the four of us could...

- Yeah.

- Go together.

- Yeah.

- If that's not too weird.

No, no, I think that's cool

if it's cool with you guys.

- Yeah.

- You know, it was gonna be a guys' trip,

but, um, I'll check with him.

- Hey.

- Hey, Jill, this is Eric,

- Dean's friend.

- Hey.

Uh, well, actually,

Dean's my friend.

I'm kind of, like,

the main dude, I guess.

Right, we got it.

Oh, yeah?

Well, okay, cool.

Are you guys doing good?

Jill, you okay?

Excuse me?

I just, you know, I didn't know.

It seems like you're kind of,

like, upset or maybe,

like, stressed out

about something, you know?

No.

Oh, oh, are you, like,

one of those, like,

pickup artist dudes?

Like, you're gonna,

like, take me down a peg,

and then say something like,

"oh, that's so cool how you're

comfortable being fat,"

or something, and then

I'll feel bad about myself

and sleep with you,

or something stupid?

- Uh...

- No, he's...

He's on the spectrum, actually.

He's got Asperger's

and he's not that great

at reading other people, so...

Asper... do I?

He can't even read

himself, actually.

It's okay, man.

Sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to just

attack you like that.

I'm just... I'm really

sick of guys trying to

insecurize me into sleeping

with them, so I just...

- Yeah.

- I hear you.

Yeah. Cool.

Remember to make

eye contact if you can.

- Thanks.

- Sure.

All right.

- So this is nature.

- Mm-hmm.

All right, so let's talk

about our game plan.

All right. Um, I think

we're gonna go on a hike.

- So what does that entail?

Um, walking along this trail?

Ah, yeah, now I can feel it.

Hey, Toby. What?

Well, what happened?

Oh, Jesus.

God.

Toby knocked a bookshelf

on top of Nicholas,

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