Dean Page #5

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I love it.

- Yeah, I'm ready to get back.

- I really love it, though.

New York's the best, period.

No contest.

Even queens.

Yeah, I think I've seen enough

of L.A. to last me for...

Oh...

I'm never going back

to L.A. again.

No, no, no, I can't.

For my health, I can't.

Okay. I'm gonna try

to take a nap.

- I'm pretty tired.

- Oh, yeah.

Naomi.

I'm Naomi, by the way.

Before you, you know.

Good to meet you, Naomi.

Take a nap.

- Your name would be?

- I'm Dean.

Dean.

Put her there.

Yeah.

- Sleep tight.

- Thanks.

I should be sleeping.

I'm exhausted.

I'm so wired from the anxiety,

from the trauma of Los Angeles

that I can't sleep.

I'm not myself.

So what do you do...

For work?

I'm a...

- Speech therapist.

- Oh.

Yeah.

I work with animals.

Mmm. Communication.

How to listen,

how to communicate,

- reading signals.

- Yeah.

- 'Cause they can speak.

- They can communicate.

It's been proven

time and time again.

They are communicating,

but we're so blocked.

Animals, no subtlety.

- It's crass.

- You texting?

- I am.

- Excuse me, excuse me.

- Yeah.

Get in these last moments

while you can

- before she comes around...

and gets ya.

- Sir?

- Yeah.

You have to turn that off.

- Sir?

- Um...

I'm a scientist.

- Hi.

- Hey.

You are a little late, mister.

- Yeah.

- And you brought a suitcase.

Yeah, actually, I was on

my plane and I got your text.

You just, you know,

hopped off the plane

and ran straight over here?

I usually have

that effect on people.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I'm kidding.

Really,

what's with the suitcase?

No, I was staying with

my friend Eric, and...

I'm gonna stay with Eric.

I was staying at a hotel

and going from my hotel

to my friend Eric's place,

and he's still at work,

so I ended up with all my stuff.

- I'm kind of stranded.

- Oh.

Uh, volleyball gear, you know.

So, uh, is this yours?

- Yeah.

- Cool.

Are you fishing

for a ride right now?

Oh, I'm not fishing,

but now that you mention it,

- that would work for me.

- Okay.

- Cool. Great.

- Okay.

- Sure.

- Awesome.

- Um, you gonna drive?

- No, I'm not gonna drive.

- Okay.

- I was just, you know, being polite.

Thanks.

You want the story for real?

Yeah, I'm curious.

All right, I was in college.

I came up with

this natural beauty product,

and I ended up dropping out

'cause I was tinkering with it.

First, I started

giving it to my friends.

Then I started selling it,

and then this

big cosmetics brand

actually bought it,

um, but that was

a couple of years ago,

- so nothing really since.

- Wow.

- Really?

- Mm-hmm.

Wow.

- So you have, like, a patent and everything?

- Yeah.

So you're an inventor?

I think of myself more of,

like, a chef

'cause I came up with, you know,

a few recipes

that actually worked.

- That's amazing.

Seriously. You know,

when I'm drawing,

sometimes I'll come up with,

like, an invention or something

and I'll just do a sketch.

- Really? Like what?

- But nothing like that.

Um, let's see.

- So you're on a plane, right?

- Mm-hmm.

This happens a lot.

Plane's packed.

There's a baby that's

crying super loud.

It's bothering everybody.

How do you get that baby quiet?

Baby silencer.

All right, it's a funnel.

You put it over the baby's

nose and mouth

with a tube, like,

a little kind of tube,

and it goes to headphones

that go to the baby's own ears,

so when the baby's crying

just like,

"wah, wah!" Really loud,

it's contained into the tubes,

and then just like,

"ow, ow, that hurts.

Hello? Wah.

Uh, who is that?

That's me.

I should stop."

Baby silenced.

So what you have is something

that will silence the baby

and also teach the baby

about self-awareness

and cause and effect, so...

You know, I would make sure

that there's adequate

breathing apparatus

and, you know,

holes in it and stuff,

so I'm not gonna do

anything crazy to the baby.

Do you think that that would

actually work for adults

with helping them

develop self-awareness?

Perhaps you could

send the sound of them

pitching an invention

straight into their own ears?

Like in a restaurant

or something?

- Yeah.

- Thank you for dinner.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

No, it was my pleasure.

- That was fun.

- Yeah.

- I had a good time.

- Me, too.

- And thanks for the ride.

- You're welcome.

Um, okay, so just to be clear.

Mm-hmm?

- Okay.

- Okay.

- I'll get my stuff. All right.

- Okay.

Whoa, okay.

- Hello.

- All right.

There he is.

So this is it.

Um, that's the couch.

That's gonna be, uh...

- All yours.

- Wow.

Assuming that's okay with Tobes.

Totally, no problem.

- Heard you're here stalking some girl.

- What?

Yeah, my friend

stalked a girl once.

She lived in China,

so I'm not sure if it

counted as stalking per se

'cause he was in San Diego.

I contended that

it was more like

keeping tabs on her

from that distance.

- Yeah, I'm not stalking anybody.

- That's exactly what he said.

- Yeah, but I'm not.

- Agree to disagree.

Damn it.

- What did you tell him?

- What? Don't worry about Toby.

He's his own thing, man.

So tell me about this girl.

Oh, well, she drove me back

from the... whoa!

- What the hell is this?

- What?

I have a cat.

You know that.

No, I did not know that.

I do now, though.

And I'll never forget it.

Yeah, I share my room

with Nicholas.

- He loves this sh*t.

Anyways, the girl,

what's going on?

Uh, yeah, so we, uh...

I'm sorry, I...

- When did you get into cats?

- All right, come on, enough.

- All right.

- I have a cat. Let's move on.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, it went

really well, and, uh,

we're gonna get

together on Tuesday.

- That's great. Day or night?

- Day.

- Day? That's not good.

- Yeah.

- Night. Night.

- What?

You want night time, late.

Her defenses are down.

She's kind of tired.

Okay, I don't want to kill her.

I want to date her.

Date her?

Let's slow down, 1955, okay?

Let's just try

to sleep with her first.

Yeah, I mean, that, too.

That's what I meant.

Here, bud.

- You okay, man?

- Yeah.

- Like, things are okay?

- Yeah, things are great.

Okay.

Do a little bunny hop.

Ahh!

- You all right?

- Yeah, I'm good. I'm good.

I'll be honest,

I didn't mean to fall,

but I did mean

to take the risk, okay?

- And that's how you ride.

- You're the man.

- I feel amazing.

- Race?

Yeah, let's go.

- Hey, dad.

- Oh, you're there.

- Are you back?

- No, I'm still in L.A.

I decided to stay a bit longer.

- What are you doing out there?

- Just working on my tan.

I was gonna maybe get

my chest waxed.

You are?

No, I'm just

catching up with Eric

and just trying to take a little

break, since I'm out here.

A break from what?

You know,

just everything at home.

Things are kind of heavy.

I just want to get

a little breather.

I see.

No, it's a good idea.

- Why don't you go on to Hawaii?

- Okay, I'm not on vacation.

I'm still working on my book.

You know, I can do that

from here, too.

I need to talk to you

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