Dear Eleanor Page #3

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God willing, that goal will be achieved.

Thank you and good night.

I think we should go home.

I'm not going home.

And besides, even if we did,

we'd still be in the western hemisphere.

I knew those Soviets were up to something.

You know, they've been quiet

for a really long time.

- Good night, Ellie.

- Good night.

There it goes!

What are you doing out of your house?

I should set you free

behind the Bank of America.

But I won't.

Max would kill me,

and it would ruin my chances with her.

What was I thinking, Little E?

What's Mrs. Roosevelt gonna think

when those two crazy girls show up?

They're gonna call the cops and

they're gonna get arrested for trespassing.

Then I'll go to Folsom

for forging and impersonating

a former First Lady.

We have to stop them from ruining my life.

Yours, too.

Jack! Henry!

Where's your mother's piano?

It's right there, Dad.

Right where?

- Right where it's always at.

- I see it.

Yeah?

Robert!

What, Dad?

Where's the piano?

It's right in front of you, Dad.

Ellie?

She's at Max's.

They're working on

an outer space project for school.

Yeah, she won't be back until next week.

- Where's the baby?

- Kitchen.

Boys...

Why don't you play something for us

on the piano, Dad?

What the hell is the bird

doing in the house?

Bird? What bird?

- Don't you give a hoot no more, Dad?

- Yes, son.

I give a hoot!

Zion National Park.

- Where'd you put the map?

- It's in the back seat.

- Should be right on top, right?

- Yeah.

Well, it's...

- It's not back here.

- Yes, it is.

No, it's not.

- It's not?

- No.

I think I left it at home.

- You think anyone's gonna find it?

- I don't...

No. No one goes in my room. It's fine.

Yeah, Mrs. Wax, I'm just trying

to find my daughter. Boys!

So, yeah, so unless their project

has something to do...

- Dad!

- ...with making themselves invisible,

they're not here. Now I...

- Dad!

- What is it, Jack?

- When Ellie gets back from New York...

- Right, yes.

...can we go to Kentucky Fried Chicken?

It starts here, Manteca, where we are,

goes across the entire country,

all the way across

to Eleanor Roosevelt, okay?

Ellie's gone.

Okay, Johnny, I need you to go put out

an APB for me, son. Okay? Real fast.

Fast as you can. Call headquarters.

Hey, you kids listen to your grandma!

That, Mr. President, is the Soviet

Foreign Minister's public statement

about the policy of the Soviet Union

and of Cuba in this western...

I told you I knew how to drive, Ellie.

Max, see, for people to sleep,

you have to be quiet.

...the general assembly

on Cuba's foreign policy.

Faithful to these principles

of his international policy

and to the principles enshrined

in the charter of the United Nations.

Cuba constitutes a danger...

They're selling radiation-proof huts

over at McRooters.

Get this, Phil's got a scam.

Selling his cotton briefs

as bomb resistant underwear.

Bomb resistant underwear?

- That's $9.72.

- We should get some.

Have you girls seen the news?

Yeah. Do you guys sell that here?

You girls aren't

from around here, are you?

- No, we're from California.

- California.

- That must be nice.

- Yeah.

You have relatives in Colorado?

Why are we in Colorado, Max?

We went the wrong way.

Well, which way are we headed now?

North. Where did you go

while I was sleeping?

Not the right way?

Where is it y'all trying to get to anyhow?

We're going to see Eleanor Roosevelt.

She's a close personal friend.

- Do your parents know where you are?

- Yeah, of course, it was their idea.

They gave us plenty of money.

Listen, why don't you come home with me

to my ranch?

You can stay for a couple of days

till we know what's happening.

Call your parents, tell them you're safe.

It's a nice little ranch. I have horses.

What do you say?

- Yeah. Okay.

- Yeah.

Totally boss, okay.

I'm gonna get... Yeah.

And... And this.

- Max, I already have one.

- Steve will like this one, too.

You having fun, Little E?

We gotta go back for him.

Need a ride, sir?

Billy Hobgood?

What the hell are you doing out here?

I'm just out seeing the sights.

Yeah? Well, I'm out here looking for

my daughter, and my truck broke down.

That's what I'm doing.

Well, I can give you a ride.

In this?

- Yes, sir.

- Yeah?

This vehicle make it across country?

- I think so.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Okay. Good.

Because I know where they're going.

I got their map.

My daughter, she's just...

She's been acting out a little bit lately

and just having a hard time,

and just been dealing with that,

so I called the police and put out

an APB, so took care of all that.

- Really, sir?

- Yeah.

- You did that?

- I did.

Son, you got nothing to do with this,

do you? And be honest with me.

No, sir.

- All right, well, start it up.

- Yes, sir.

I'm not gonna ride

in the buddy-seat, though.

You have to, sir.

- And also, you have to hold the Little Elvis.

- Weird kid.

And he might poop in your pocket,

so don't get too mad.

Max, I don't know if this is a good idea.

We don't even know these people.

She seemed really nice,

and I really want a home cooked meal

and a bathroom without rodents.

Hope you girls are hungry.

Dinner's almost ready.

Yeah, I'm starving.

This place is great.

Can we go horseback riding?

Yeah, I'm sure my son can take you out.

There he is. Bud! Bud!

Splendor in the Grass.

- He looks just like...

- Warren Beatty.

Howdy. I'm Bud.

I'm Max.

- Ellie.

- Nice to meet you both.

- They're staying with us...

- Bud. Nice to meet you.

...until we get an all-clear

from the President.

Well, great. Well, welcome.

- Y'all coming?

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- Charlotte's quite the cook.

- Hold this, Max.

Be sure to call your parents right after

dinner and let them know you're okay.

Okay.

You're squeezed in mighty tight

over there, ain't you?

Do you guys want to hear

my greatest idea ever?

Homing pigeons.

Does this have anything to do

with what you did to the Little Elvis?

No. Take a pigeon,

and I drive it to a movie star's house.

Pick somebody!

Warren Beatty.

I don't think he likes birds, but I like

the way you're thinking. Charlotte.

Marlon Brando.

Yes, Brando.

So, I ride my bike with the pigeon

over to Marion's house,

show her Marlon's house, drive home,

and then I write a note that says,

"I love you, Marlon Brando.

"Will you marry me?

Check the box, 'yes' or 'no."'

Then I tape it to the pigeon's leg

and it flies to my fiance's house

and gives him the note.

Wait, the pigeon gives Marlon the note?

Boom. Flying fan-mail.

That's impossible, Max.

No, it's not, because I know

where we can get a pigeon.

Yeah, well,

the pigeon's not the hard part.

The making him fly with a note taped

to his leg to Marlon Brando's house?

- Yeah, that's impossible.

- It's impossible.

"Stella!"

I know this guy in Detroit

who got a pigeon

and he drove to his girlfriend's house

in Arkansas.

And then he drove home to Detroit,

and the next day

the pigeon showed up

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