Dear Eleanor Page #4

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on her doorstep in Little Rock.

There's a million pigeons out there.

That could have been any bird in Little Rock.

- True.

- With a note?

"I could have been somebody.

"I could have been a contender."

Y'all want to go

squirrel hunting tomorrow?

Hey, Max?

I'm pretty sure I saw Frank Morris

at the store today.

Who's Frank Morris?

The mastermind who escaped Alcatraz.

Well, Billy says

nobody makes it off Alcatraz alive.

Billy doesn't know anything.

Well, why was he on the Rock?

I don't know. Probably murder.

All I'm saying is,

I'm pretty sure

I saw him steal crackers today.

I need a cigarette.

I'll be right back.

You know, smoking's bad for you.

Well, not that it matters.

We're all gonna die anyway.

After all, this is the western hemisphere.

Can I bum one?

- Yeah.

- Thank you.

You look like Warren Beatty.

Do I make you nervous?

No.

- How old are you?

- 17.

You know you're not inhaling that, right?

- What?

- Here, go like this.

Try it.

There you go.

You got it, you got it right.

So, Why'd you run away from home?

- I... I didn't.

- Sure you didn't.

You know you can tell me.

I ain't gonna turn you in.

I didn't run away from home. I'm...

I'm on vacation.

Hey, you wanna see something cool?

- Yeah.

- Yeah? Come on. Let's go.

Come on.

It's beautiful, huh?

Yeah.

They're not 17.

Look at this postcard

Max asked me to mail.

"Dear Steve,

it's your favorite 15-year-old again.

"I was in the great state

of Utah recently.

"This is what my motel looked like.

Sincerely, Max the Wax."

I mentioned calling their parents,

they changed the subject,

so I'm gonna call the police

in the morning.

I think they're runaways.

Why don't you call Max's father?

I don't have his phone number.

You don't have

Steve McQueen's phone number.

I don't think so.

You better not.

Wake up. We're leaving.

Why? Did your boyfriend

break up with you already?

What? No.

"Dear Steve McQueen, it's your favorite

15-year-old again." That's what it is.

Charlotte thinks we're runaways.

She's calling the police.

Charlotte's making chocolate

chip pancakes for breakfast.

Gosh, we don't have time

for chocolate chip pancakes!

Ellie!

Get up.

You kissed him, didn't you?

Are you kidding me right now?

Why'd you have to tell everyone

Steve McQueen's

- your dad in the first place, Max?

- You know,

sometimes you have to believe

stuff like that, Ellie.

You don't know.

You know, maybe Steve likes my cards,

and maybe one day,

he'll pick me up in his corvette and give

Dave the what's what for a whole day.

And it'll be great...

- What was that?

- I don't know.

- Max, what was that?

- I don't know. You hit it.

Oh, my God, it was a squirrel!

- No, no, no, no! I killed a squirrel.

- You hit a squirrel!

- Why would you do that, Ellie?

- Because I was distracted.

- Well, why were you distracted?

- Because you won't stop talking.

- Oh, my God.

- One of the reasons that you like me

is because I talk!

You know what?

Are you serious right now?

I hate to say it,

but it's a great addition to the scrapbook.

I'm done.

- I'm done. Stop! Hush!

- You're...

Don't talk.

Let's drive in peace, please.

This trip is a disaster.

A complete disaster.

- Can we just go see Aunt Daisy now?

- Fine. Fine.

Who's Aunt Daisy?

- Stop. Stop. Stop screaming!

- We're just kids!

Are you the mastermind from Alcatraz?

- Is that what they're calling me now?

- I knew it was you!

I knew it was you, Frank Morris.

- It's Frank Morris?

- Yes! This is Frank Morris!

- We're going to die. We're gonna die!

- I'm not dying in Colorado!

Hold on, no one's going to die.

Now calm the hell down.

You know what?

Before you do this, you should know

that I am just like you, okay?

I put laxative in my teacher's coffee

and she was out of school for two days.

I have a longer rap sheet than you, Frank.

I am bad. I am bad, all right?

I am... Ellie, I am bad.

Max, hey, give him the money.

We don't have any money.

- Give him the money, Max!

- We do not have any money!

I don't want your money.

I don't need to go back to prison.

I want something else.

You are not gonna get any of the money!

Relax.

I just need a ride.

Okay.

Now, we're gonna walk in calmly,

sit down nicely

and you're gonna act like I'm your pa.

This is Sunset Boulevard,

Los Angeles, California.

It's about 5:
00 in the morning.

That's the homicide squad complete

with detectives and newspapermen.

A murder has just been reported

from one of those great big houses...

- What are you talking about?

- ...on the 10,000 block.

- Monologue. You can't stop her.

- You'll see it in the late editions.

- Monologue?

- I'm sure. It'll play over your radio.

And you'll see it on television.

Because an old time star is involved.

One of the biggest.

But before it gets all distorted,

blown out of proportion,

before those Hollywood columnists

get their hands on it,

maybe you want to hear the facts.

If so, you've come to the right party.

- Make her stop.

- I can't. She's gotta finish.

You see, a young man was found dead

in her mansion swimming pool.

Two shots in his back

and one in his stomach.

No one important, really.

Just a movie writer with a couple

of B pictures to his credit.

The poor dope. He always wanted a pool.

Well, in the end, he got himself a pool.

Only the price turned out

to be a little high.

- Hey, Delores.

- Hey, how are you? Good to see you.

Hey, Officers.

How's your night going?

Let's sit up near the bar here.

Cool.

You rat me out,

and I'll tell them

that you're juvenile delinquent runaways,

and you'll be the ones

trying to find your way off Alcatraz.

Man, this is tepid.

Hey. Hi.

Can you heat this up for me?

And can you also put some more of that

"pff, pff," on top? Thanks.

Coming right up.

I hear you have to eat slop

in prison, Frank. Is that true?

You say another word

and that's all you'll ever eat.

No more "pff, pff," ever, you hear me?

I'm in charge now.

Okay.

You know, none of this would have happened

if you didn't take us on that stupid detour.

- Don't blame me.

- Like, didn't you?

Yeah, well, whoop-de-doo.

That should have been a clue.

You meet a guy who looks like

Warren Beatty and ride a horse.

None of that would have happened

if it wasn't for me.

Yeah, if it wasn't for you,

I wouldn't be stuck with this guy!

- Hey, hey, hey. Sit down.

- I'm not gonna sit down.

If you didn't write that stupid letter

to Eleanor Roosevelt in the first place,

we wouldn't be

in this predicament right now.

I only wrote that letter, Ellie,

because I'm your best friend

and I didn't want you to end it.

Maybe you just should have, because

you're not the only one with problems.

- Thank you.

- Come back soon, now.

Will you shut up, Max?

You don't even know

what you're talking about.

You kissed Bud

when you knew that I liked him.

- This is about scoring Warren?

- Yeah, it's about scoring Warren!

Sol kissed him. Big deal.

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