Dear Eleanor Page #5

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We're never gonna see him again.

- Sit down.

- I'm not gonna sit down.

- You know one more thing?

- I blame you

for not letting me eat

those chocolate chip pancakes.

Chocolate chip pancakes! Come on.

My mom doesn't even care about anything

other than stupid Cream of Wheat

and I gosh-darn hate it!

- She's driving me nuts.

- No, you don't!

- You're welcome. You're crazy!

- You're crazy!

Frank.

This is for your own good, okay?

I thought you knew me

better than this, Max.

I do.

Besides, I think

I like somebody else anyway.

Hey, buddy?

I got two kids just like that at home.

Hey, take a napkin. Clean yourself up.

Cops won't give a reward

to a couple of kids.

They'll just say we're runaways

and send us home.

Definitely, definitely no cops.

My gosh, here he comes.

- What?

- Lock the door.

Come on, open up.

Open the door.

- Open the door.

- What's on your face?

- Open the door.

- No, Alcatraz man.

I already bailed you out once.

- What's he doing?

- I don't know!

"Want to hear a story

about right-hand, left-hand?

"A story about good and evil?"

- Okay, I know this one. My gosh!

- "H-A-T-E."

- It's going to kill me. I know this one.

- "It was with this hand

"that old brother Cain struck the blow

that laid his brother low.

"L-O-V-E.

"You see these fingers, dear hearts?

"The veins go straight

to the soul of a man.

"The right hand, the hand of love.

"Let me tell you a story,

a story about life.

"These fingers, they were...

"They were a-warring and a-fighting,

"one against the other,

and old brother left hand,

"he was a-fighting

and it looked like love was a goner,

"but wait a minute.

"Wait a minute.

"Love. Love was a-winning.

"Hot dog, love was the winner.

"Old left hand, hate,

"he was down for the count."

Night of the Hunter, Robert Mitchum!

Loved that.

Don't leave me out here.

I think we should take him, Ellie.

Heck, this guy's better than Brando.

I can learn a lot from this fellow.

- Night of the Hunter, huh?

- You got it.

I got it.

Did you work a lot on your fitness

in prison, Frank?

Not a lot else to do on the Rock.

It shows.

Is it wrong to think

a convict is cute, Ellie?

He's an old man. He's probably already 30.

Everything's A-okay, Mr. Potter.

My parents are glad I'm gone.

- Got fired from Dairy Deluxe, though.

- It happens.

- Can I ask you a question, sir?

- Right now?

How come you gave up pumpkins?

How come I did what?

You're not really a farmer anymore, sir.

All your pumpkins are rotting.

I just see you sitting in your truck

doing nothing. It's creepy.

I don't know why you'd call it

creepy, son. I mean,

I don't get the problem

you kids have with that truck.

I just enjoy sitting in there

and smoking the occasional cigarette.

I like it. Makes me feel good.

See, I think you might get confused

sometimes because, you know,

you're just a little kid.

You know, what are you? About 12?

- Sixteen, sir.

- Okay.

Well, see, I'm a grown man,

and sometimes grown men do things

that younger people don't understand.

It doesn't make sense to you

'cause you haven't...

You haven't been around,

and I don't just mean

been around town, I mean you haven't...

You haven't been alive that long,

so you don't really know

what in the hell's going on a lot of the time,

so you get kind of confused like...

Like you do.

But...

I appreciate your being interested

in how I spend my private time.

Why don't you finish up?

- We gotta get back out on the road.

- Yes, sir.

You gotta... You gotta keep eating

- and just don't talk for a minute, okay?

- Yes, sir.

Dazzling Daisy's Palace, showtimes,

all right, 2:
00, 4:00 and 6:00 p.m.

What time is it, guys?

- All right, comes to 5 and 30.

- It's 1:
30.

Well, hurry up! We can make it!

Charleston Chew?

How did you know I like Charleston Chew?

I want a bite.

Everyone likes candy, Frank.

It's not that, it's my favorite.

If I hear this song again,

I'm gonna kill someone.

- That's not funny, Frank.

- Relax, it's just a euphemism.

- What's a euphemism?

- A nicer way of saying something.

- Like, lovin' them up?

- Yeah.

Frank, guess what I just did.

I don't know. What?

I just ate a peanut M&M

with two nuts in it.

So, tell me about this Aunt Daisy.

She was a big Broadway showgirl

until she married my Uncle Rocko,

and he thought it would be better

for her career to move to Las Vegas.

She's the best in the business, Frank,

and an amazing dancer.

Great, make it fast.

I want to get back on the road.

You're not coming in, Frank.

You're staying in the car.

Fine. I don't want to see some old lady

doing the splits with a hula-hoop anyway.

I gotta say,

it looks better in the movies.

Where's Frank Sinatra

and the Rat Pack and the dancing women?

Where's Bugsy and his bulletproof office?

Max, you didn't think we were going to

Las Vegas, Nevada, did you?

Are there two Las Vegases?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

And the one Aunt Daisy lives in,

that's Las Vegas, New Mexico.

All right.

This is certainly a full house.

All right, ladies and gentlemen.

Let's give a warm Las Vegas welcome

for the star of the show, Dazzling Daisy!

Let's go find her. Come on.

Max, are we supposed to be in here?

She's my aunt. I can do what I want.

Gone with the Wind.

This is like Clark Gable's suit!

We should get this for Frank!

- This is her stuff.

- I'm going to get it on the way out.

Jeez, she's got a lot of stuff.

Aunt Daisy, are you back here?

It's your favorite niece, Maxine!

Maxie?

- Is it really you?

- Yeah.

Honey!

What are you doing here?

Well, my friend Ellie and I

are on our way to New York.

We decided to stop by.

- Ellie, this is my Aunt Daisy.

- Hi. Nice to meet you.

- I like your show.

- Thank you.

I just started incorporating

the whole hula-hoop thing and, you know,

you just never know

how it's gonna turn out.

Sensational. Do you live here?

With all this stuff?

Well, you know,

it needs a bit of straightening,

but I couldn't imagine

parting with any of it.

This is one of my favs.

Worn by the Sandra Church in Gypsy.

What about this pizza box?

Can you get rid of this pizza box?

Give it to me.

So, where did you put Uncle Rocko?

He vamoosed a long time ago

when he couldn't fit through the door.

Would you girls like some tea and cookies?

Yeah.

Great. Coming right up.

Look. She circles dance auditions,

but then she just crosses them out.

This one's for next week. In New York.

We have to get her to go

to that audition, Ellie.

All right, catch the cookies.

My goodness.

- And the tea?

- What?

I'm just kidding. I'm not crazy.

Well, I might be a little crazy,

but not that crazy.

So, New York City.

My goodness, I love New York.

Yeah, it's just...

It's really lonely on the road,

isn't it, Max?

I have an idea.

Why don't you come with us, Aunt Daisy?

- That's a great idea, Max.

- Isn't that a great idea?

No. I can't go with you guys to New York.

- You won't be gone for long.

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