Dear God Page #6

It could be Jemi|headed into the water!

- Wendy, I actually heard you!|- A plunge in the water!

That's him! That's gotta be!

Jemi!

Don't do it! Jemi!

He's gonna drown!

This guy has officially become|a pain in the ass.

They're both gonna drown!

- What do you want?|- We got your letter.

- What letter?|- To God.

- You're not God!|- Not even close.

Not much of a swimmer|either, really.

I'll go. Be brave.

I'll go find towels.

We need to borrow towels!|There's someone in the water!

I got you. Maybe not.

More towels! Sir, please! Sir!

Two more. There.

I gotcha.

Napkins. Great. Coming!

Jemi...!

It's so dangerous.|I was gonna go in there

and then I had to get the towels.

There were three.|Wendy, you're really wet.

There you go.

You poor thing.

Why did you do that?

It's my job at the Post Office.

We don't like citizens in the water.|Makes it hard to deliver mail.

Why did you do that?

OK.

My wife died last Christmas.

All my friends are dead.

Anybody I can talk to is dead.

I wanted to be with my Ann|and my friends. You stopped me.

- Why?|- Maybe the reward is in the caring.

- You don't even know me!|- So you'll do this again tomorrow?

- Probably, yeah.|- We only do rescues on our day off.

He's kidding.|Of course we'll rescue you.

But could you give us an idea|of the time?

No! That's good.|You can spend the rest of the day

not butting into|other people's business.

He lost his wife and friends.|That's so depressing.

Did I tell you|I was a recovering workaholic?

- Rebecca, more towels.|- OK.

If you were going to kill yourself,|why write to God? Why not just do it?

There is nothing wrong

with people choreographing|their own ending.

A lot of people do it.|Even more people think about it.

Didn't you ever think about it?

Well, I guess I'm just curious|to see how the hand plays out.

I'm 74 years old!

I don't have time|for another hand to be dealt.

- Maybe you need to meet someone.|- Sure. Who would date me?

I got brown spots all over.

I got a voice like a loud snore.

I got a lot of hair in my ears.

Sure, who's gonna date me?

Maybe a blind woman.

If we're gonna keep the ball rolling,

up with a system. Mr Dooly?

- Hats?|- I get headaches. I can't wear hats.

To people coming in, it looks like|hats, but wait till you see this.

Got 'em all categorised, people.

Bin A, these are people's needs.|Things, someone, food, love, a break.

Bin B, places and what they need...

"Dear God,

my sister and I are nurses|at a retirement home."

"We read an article that said|single people live longer

when they have a pet to love|and care for." Dooly, listen!

"We've got the senior single people."

Thank you, Lori and Terri Nathan. "

Hi, how are you?

Darwin! He needs a home.

This is Darwin. Best dog of the lot.

Here, how about a nice kitty?

No, Mr Raskin is allergic to cats.|He can't have cats.

- He ought to have a medical sign.|- Forget that, go get Mr Raskin!

- Tom.|- Excuse me.

Dooly! Dooly,|are you completely psychotic?

"Dear God..."

and Charlotte. I thank you for them. "

such a job raising them!"

It's day and night, 24 hours. "

my in-laws live in Alaska

since I married Kenny. "

Just one night to relax. "

"Thank you, Crystal Fricker."

"Dear God, I've tried to maintain

since Alex died. "

Thank you. "

and happy, healthy kids. "

from cleaning at the hotel

to do it again in my own home. "

and patience with the kids

and cause more work for me at home. "

So, this the big date?

There's no date.|Sarah gave me the afternoon off,

so I figured I'd test out|some new recipes on him.

If Sylvia Plath were alive today

in a microwave oven

- I'll do that one tonight.|- OK.

Tom and I are going out|but Rebecca will take you next door.

You can play as many video games as|you like then she'll take you home.

- We'll have a good time, won't we?|- Yes.

- OK.|- This isn't a...

I know.

Well, it's a beautiful day today,|so you two have a lot of fun.

Is she gonna do that all day?

OK, here come the videos.|Let's go.

Charles, I owe you.

Yeah. It's OK, Tommy.

Just clean up after yourselves.

You got about an hour.

- How do you know that guy?|- Gave him a tip on a horse.

And he still let us in.

- You're confusing me.|- Why?

We both know|that you're a screw-up, but lately...

Gloria, trust me, you can't trust me.

That's what I thought.|I believe you.

Thank you very much.

What did I promise you?|A concert, a picnic and a dance.

And that, my dear,|is exactly what you shall have.

So what about your father? I've|only heard you talk about your mom.

My dad couldn't cut it as a golfer|so he became a golf hustler, I guess.

This is my place.

- Celebrity Apartments?|- Yeah.

- Do celebrities live here?|- Yeah.

None that you'd actually know,|but a lot of international stars.

Huge Honduran contingent.|You're not coming, are you?

- Tell me more about your father.|- We've done this. He's a golfer.

You told me your dad's a mortician.|I didn't laugh.

We talked about Indiana,|New Jersey.

I believe we're to|the awkward groping part.

Yeah, but you said, "I guess".

So where's your dad?

I don't know.

Where is he?

Well, when I was a kid,|one morning, very early,

I heard a noise downstairs.

It was my dad. He was standing there,

and he told me to close my eyes.

I thought he had|some sort of a surprise for me.

When I opened them...

...he was gone.

I never closed my eyes again.

Sorry you asked, right?

- And you never heard from him?|- No, I never did.

It's still early.|You should check the place out.

You'll feel so much better|about your own place.

I think I'd like to feel awkward|in private.

Just for a few minutes, though.

It's right here.|It might be on the messy side.

- I'm sure it's fine.|- More company, Tom?

- I won't tell "The Enquirer."|- Thanks, Otis.

I won't tell "Unsolved Mysteries"|about you.

Tom!

Somebody really trashed the place.

The fish are OK.

Who's Junior?

Someone determined|to ruin our evening.

I'm sorry.

It's just stuff.

Yeah, well,|it's the only stuff I own.

Possessions are chains.

A free man owns nothing.

You don't really believe that.

You want me to say|you don't have a pot to piss in?

Like they say,|no good deed goes unpunished.

Would you mail this for me? Word is,|you have a lot of pull with the man.

"God, the big guy in the sky."

- Would you?|- We'll take care of it.

- Thank you.|- I gotta get some breakfast.

Why would they break my eggs?|It makes no sense.

- Don't we know each other?|- I don't think so. I'm here a lot.

I love this neighbourhood.|I love the ambience, the milieu.

"Dear God, my horn is in hock."

will only hold it a few more days. "

"I'm desperate for a horn."

Randy Sky Tyler. "

All the clerks selling Elvis stamps

are not permitted to dress like him.

No, not there!|Throw it here. Like me.

You? Like that?

No, not at me! Like me.

- You like me?|- No. Get away!

No, no. Like me.

I don't see why you can't|do your nails at the end of the day.

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