Dear White People Page #14

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Ladies, we need to see huge hoop

earrings, long nails, and cheap

tight clothes.

(MORE)

81.

KURT (V.O.) (CONT'D)

A proper hood rat starts fights,

speaks loudly, and when she can’t

think of the word she’s trying to

say just makes one up, such as

“edumicated.” Feel free to fry up

some chicken, bring Kool-Aid,

Watermelon, 40s, Henny, and of

course Dat Purple Drank. No bougie

b*tches allowed.

76C

Sam removes the pins and the black power Afro pic holding76C

up her pompadour fro hair-do, and lets it fall flat around

her ears. She takes in her image in the mirror.

KURT (V.O.)

Naturally there will be a freestyle

rap competition so bring it, get yo

shine on and join us for the party

of the year! Oh and Nigga Nigga

Nigga Nigga. Boy that felt good.

77

EXT. GILLESPIE HALL - NIGHT 77

Laughter and music from the well to do event wafts outside

while Troy dressed in a slick Armani tux hangs by the

entrance. He smokes on Coco’s one-hitter from before.

Lionel steps out in his ill fitted suit, a camera in hand.

The two are surprised to see each other.

LIONEL:

Funny seeing you here.

TROY:

Father likes to show me off at all

the Donor functions. The dessert

course is usually my cue to take a

breather while they talk shop.

(friendlier)

The trick is to dazzle them into

forking over their estates just

before they kick the bucket.

Lionel could just leave. Instead he accepts the olive branch.

LIONEL:

So...Picard or Kirk?

TROY:

Kirk. Wait...

LIONEL:

I saw you watching Star -

82.

TROY:

-- Yo what happens in the crib

stays in the crib. Not trying to

get my card revoked.

LIONEL:

Hey, some could argue that a show

with Whoopi Goldberg, Michael Dorn

and Kunta Kinte himself is a pretty

Black show.

TROY:

Yeah? That work out for you?

LIONEL:

No. No it did not. At least not in

High School. I bet there’s a statue

of you at your High School.

TROY:

I was beloved. Won’t lie.

LIONEL:

Did they know you were a trekker?

TROY:

My pops left a paint by numbers

template for success at that High

School. All I had to do was fill in

the blanks. Football captain.

Valedictorian. Prom King.

Lionel sees a sadness in Troy.

TROY (CONT’D)

So what? You’re growing that out?

LIONEL:

I think it’s gaining sentience.

TROY:

It’s...out there.

LIONEL:

It’s like a black hole for white

people’s fingers. They’re obsessed.

TROY:

You know I cut hair. Why didn’t you

ask me?

LIONEL:

You’re I dunno...you?

83.

Behind Lionel, George and Annie pass by the steps to

Gillespie.

GEORGE:

Li! You ready man?

LIONEL:

No costumes? I got a tux for this.

ANNIE:

We just got out of the staff room.

GEORGE:

Yeah, we’re going as overworked.

LIONEL:

Where is it?

ANNIE:

Garmin House. On third I think?

LIONEL:

Third and Basin. I know it.

Before Lionel jets to join them.

TROY:

Yo man. If I’d gone to your High

School, I’d have had your back.

Lionel smiles and heads after his new friends.

78 EXT. KURT’S HOUSE - NIGHT 78

Lionel pauses before his old home - now filled with the chaos

of a wild party. Lionel clears his throat and heads in.

79 INT. KURT’S HOUSE - NIGHT 79

The party is dark and rambunctious. Lots of white kids in

costume. Some as fairies or ninjas or Spiderman - but most as

pimps and thugs. As Blaxploitation characters. As Barack

Obama and Condi Rice. As Shaft, Ice Cube, and 2 Chainz.

It’s a lot for Lionel. Cups are handed to them filled with

“Purple Drank.” Everyone downs the stuff.

INT. GILLESPIE HALL - NIGHT

Troy is being appreciated by an ancient COUPLE.

TROY:

...my own firm. Maybe run for

office. Make a difference you know?

84.

The couple smile. A buzz draws Troy’s eyes to his phone -

photos from “Dear White People” pop up in his news feed.

80 INT. KURT’S HOUSE - NIGHT 80

Lionel watches as Gordon and other Pastiche crew nervously

put up flyers and posters. They seem caught off guard. Lionel

glances at the posters - it’s Kurt with a large Afro wig

mimicking Sam’s “Missing Black Culture” flyers.

LIONEL:

This is kind of f***ed up. Right?

GEORGE:

Pastiche. The world’s most erudite

boneheads. Who wants another round?

Come on Lionel, help a brother out.

LIONEL:

Kitchen’s this way.

80A ENTRANCE - CONTINUOUS 80A

Coco enters the party - blinged out like Nicki Minaj. She’s

feeling herself as she’s handed a drink.

She’s got eyes on her - for the first time like this at a

party. But she sees the same thing Lionel saw.

Her confidence starts to fight a shame that creeps up beneath

her party face. She switches her iPhone to video mode...

COCO:

Hey there muffins. How do I look?

Why are white folks so obsessed

with being Black? And why are Black

folks so addicted to Blonde Barbie

doll weaves? Honeys it’s a strange

symbiosis we’re here to explore...

Coco’s voice cracks as she stares into her own image on her

iPhone. She pauses it and takes a breath.

80B HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS 80B

Lionel leads George through the dense crowd towards the

kitchen - George pulls Lionel into a hallway and into...

80C BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS 80C

...the bathroom and up against the door. George inhales

Lionel’s lips. Runs his fingers through Lionel’s hair.

85.

LIONEL:

Ouch.

GEORGE:

Sorry.

LIONEL:

It’s okay. Can’t wait to cut all

this off.

GEORGE:

Don’t you dare.

George plunges his fingers into Lionel’s fro once again.

Pulls a touch too hard.

GEORGE (CONT’D)

I could eat you like a Hershey’s.

This sets something off in Lionel.

LIONEL:

I’ll be right back.

Lionel breaks George’s grasp and heads out the bathroom...

LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

...and back out into the party. He’s trapped in a nightmare

of caricatures and reveling students. Can’t breathe.

EXT. KURT’S HOUSE - NIGHT

Lionel squeezes his way outside. Something goes off in his

head as he starts walking away from the party.

Just then Kurt arrives in front of the house with some

friends. Looks at Lionel then at the house.

KURT:

What the hell?

81 INT. ARMSTRONG / PARKER - NIGHT 81

Lionel paces the halls. His mind churns as he passes the

dining hall. Sam and Reggie are engaged in something intense.

DINING HALL:

SAM:

For a genius dude you’re a f***ing

idiot.

86.

REGGIE:

I did it, we did it for you.

SAM:

I didn’t ask for it Reggie. I look

like I betrayed this house.

REGGIE:

Yeah? Well you betrayed me.

Sam gets up and storms out - brushes past Lionel.

LIONEL:

Sam? Can we talk?

Sam turns back around fiercely.

82

INT. KURT’S HOUSE - NIGHT 82

A turntable is uncovered and rolled out - as a DUDE DRESSED

LIKE SERENA WILLIAMS starts up a MYSTIKAL record.

The crowd starts to get live now.

Coco continues to make her way through the party - her face

visibly perturbed by the time she reaches the kitchen. She

continues out back...

83 EXT. KURT’S BACKYARD - NIGHT 83

...and sits pulling out a cigarette. She sees Annie put on a

long straight Black wig and brag to friends...

ANNIE:

Hey who am I? “B*tch it’s weave.

Noun. Present tense ho!”

Right in the gut. She’s playing Coco. Coco grabs her phone...

84 INT. KURT’S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS 84

Kurt stumbles about the party in a daze. Drunk? Folks give

him props while he searches for and spots Gordon with the

others. His phone rings.

KURT:

Yeah?

INTERCUT:

COCO:

Kurt, it’s me. I can’t do this.

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