Dear White People Page #8

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SOFIA:

-- Okay, what’s with you and my

brother? Are you in love with him?

Is this like, some DL sh*t?

Sofia storms out.

TROY:

“DL sh*t!?”

34 INT. FOREST - NIGHT 34

Lionel walks up the darkly lit stairs of a very old building.

He reaches a door marked “Newsroom.”

35 INT. NEWSROOM - NIGHT 35

Lionel looks around the dimmed office. There is music and

light coming from a room past all the cubicles...

42.

36 INT. BULLPEN - NIGHT 36

...An office filled with computers. George and a few other

EDITORS scream with laughter - beers and pizza in hand.

GEORGE does a beat on his desk while...

GEORGE:

I keeps it clean

Ya know what I mean.

I drinks my Vodka straight,

like I’m a fiend.

ANNIE, a strawberry blonde laughs in George’s lap. Lionel’s

envy shows.

ANNIE:

Wait, quiet I want to hear this.

Annie turns up a Youtube video of...

COCO (O.S.)

If I could grow straight Indian

hair out my head -

ANNIE:

Ohmigod, this is going on Facebook.

Annie swivels in her chair only to SCREAM BLOODY MURDER at

the sight of Lionel.

LIONEL:

Relax the Negro at the door is not

here to rape you.

Annie laughs. The mood is drunk and light.

LIONEL (CONT’D)

So this is what editors do?

GEORGE:

We’re taking a break, what are you

doing here?

LIONEL:

You wanted me to drop in and tell

you how the story was coming?

GEORGE:

Yeah like this week. It’s Saturday

night. You got nowhere else to be?

LIONEL:

It was this or the new Madea movie.

43.

GEORGE:

Dear God. Where does Madea go this

time? Dialysis?

37 EXT. MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT 37

Sam, flanked by Reggie and the BoFros are in mid rant.

REGGIE:

Man f*** Tyler Perry.

SAM:

Like, can we have a movie with, you

know characters in them? ‘Stead of

stereotypes wrapped in Christian

dogma?

REGGIE:

Why is every educated person

inherently evil? Why this Nigga

gotta be in a mutha f***ing dress

all the mutha f***ing time?

SAM:

How come the only Black movies

Hollywood wants to make are ones

with mammies in fat suits or Black

women in pain man?

All of this is directed at a TEENAGER in the box office.

TEENAGER:

Most people are here to see Fang 9.

(after a beat)

Kelly Rowland’s in it?

The group throw up their hands and groan in protest.

38 INT. KURT’S HOUSE - NIGHT 38

Game Night and Kurt’s house is filled with smoke, music, and

rich kids who play cards at various tables.

Coco, in a banging jumpsuit scans the room for prospects. A

few eyes from the WHITE BOYS start to flicker her way. This

perks her up, as she arches her back slightly...

...only to see their eyes follow the WHITE BRUNETTE HIPSTER

GIRL who has entered behind her.

Coco catches herself in the mirror. What don’t they see?

38A CARD TABLE 38A

44.

Troy deals cards at a table - the game is Texas Hold Em. Troy

holds court - much to Kurt’s chagrin. The mood is playful.

There’s a brief eye contact between Troy and Coco.

39 INT. SAM’S APARTMENT - NIGHT 39

A huge “Boycott Sal’s Pizzeria” poster hangs on the walls of

Sam’s chic dorm surrounded by other street art. The BoFros

and a few cool residents of Armstrong / Parker hang about.

Underground hip hop permeates the room. Sam refuses a joint

coldly from Reggie - her eyes fixed on “SCHOOL DAZE” which

plays on her 36’ flatscreen.

SAM:

How ‘bout you stop stereotyping

yourself and put that sh*t out?

This ain’t “Friday.”

REGGIE:

Yo Sam. We got to talk about the

protest. When are we are bringing

the Housing fight to the prez?

Sungmi takes a seat next to Sam. Some kids hop up and start

grooving it out when a new song pops up on the playlist.

SUNGMI:

The House voted down sponsoring the

rally.

REGGIE:

What do we need it sponsored for?

SAM:

Demonstrations can get shut down if

a House doesn’t sponsor them.

REGGIE:

Like the House you’re head of?

Sam shoots Reggie a glare. He backs off.

SUNGMI:

Hey Sam, I read “Ebony and Ivy.”

What’s with the Oofta, Nose-Jobs,

One Hundred stuff? I miss

something?

Sam smiles.

SAM:

You want me to break it down?

45.

40 INT. KURT’S HOUSE - NIGHT 40

Troy deals another hand with Kurt, Mitch and Gordon. Troy’s

homeboy swag is thicker than usual.

MITCH:

Yo my perfect Friday night is

whiskey and my T-Bone Walker

records, real talk.

TROY:

Who the f*** is T-Bone Walker?

40A INTERCUT WITH SAM’S APARTMENT: 40A

SAM:

Only a few ways colored folks

survive at a place like this.

MITCH:

Uh only a pioneer of electric and

jump blues bro. Know your roots.

TROY:

White folks always be on stuff like

decades too late and act like they

discovered some sh*t.

SAM:

“Oofta” is the jazz age term for

Bojangle types who Blacked it up

for White audiences.

MITCH:

Don’t sleep on T-Bone man.

TROY:

Rock, Jazz, Blues - Nigga whatchu

got on right now?

MITCH:

Public Enemy my Nig-

TROY:

--Yo watch that man.

GORDON:

You just called him -

TROY:

-- Ya’ll get Country Clubs we get

to say Nigga.

Everyone at the table erupts in laughter. Except Kurt.

46.

GORDON:

And golf? And all our girls?

TROY:

Whatchu mean all your girls?

GORDON:

Dude, between OJ, Tiger, Wesley

Snipes and uh, Troy over here...

TROY:

Yo. It’s a word for that.

Reparations.

More Kurt-less laughter from the table.

TROY (CONT’D)

Forty white b*tches and a mule.

Perfectly executed. Troy grins as the table erupts.

SAM:

An Oofta modulates his Blackness up

or down depending on the crowd and

what he wants from them.

MITCH:

Kurt?

KURT:

What?

GORDON:

Kurt.

Troy watches this exchange closely.

GORDON (CONT’D)

Troy. You thinking about Pastiche?

TROY:

That’s the magazine right?

GORDON:

For starters.

MITCH:

What other “magazine” you know has

a first look deal at NBC? The third

biggest Youtube channel. Talk show.

Platinum comedy record homie!

47.

GORDON:

Couldn’t you see him on the talk

show Kurt?

Kurt looks at his cards.

KURT:

I fold.

41 INT. SAM’S APARTMENT - NIGHT 41

A small crowd’s formed around Sam.

SUNGMI:

Okay, and a nose-job is a wannabe?

42 INT. KURT’S HOUSE - NIGHT 42

Coco finishes her drink and catches Mitch and Gordon as they

start up a Youtube video on their iPad. The previous game is

over. They watch “Dear White People - 1,378,480 views.”

42A INTERCUT WITH SAM’S APARTMENT: 42A

SAM:

Sort of. Nose-jobs smooth their

Black edges and try to blend.

Coco runs her fingers through her straight hair.

GORDON:

You seen this one?

SAM (YOUTUBE)

Dear White People using Instagram.

You have an iPhone and go on hikes.

I get it.

COCO:

Ugh.

Gordon and Mitch turn and notice Coco. Mitch eyes her curves.

GORDON:

Not a fan?

Coco makes a “no” face.

MITCH:

Sup ma?

COCO:

Don’t talk like that.

48.

GORDON:

Hey I know you...

Coco is taken aback as Gordon punches up her video and plays

it back. She hovers over them.

COCO (YOUTUBE)

Muffins. I hate to do it, but Imma

have to get real Black with you.

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