Death At A Funeral

Subbed and Timed By darkskythe

Straight through there and

to the left

Would you like to...

- Who's this?

- Pardon me?

That's not my father.

Sh*t, we've taken the wrong one.

We're really sorry for this.

We'll go back and get him.

Jesus...

They brought the wrong coffin.

You're joking.

Can you believe that?

Good thing I checked.

We could be running the service for

some random member of the public.

What kind of business are these people

running anyway?

My God.

There's just so much to worry about

you know. And mom's in such a state...

Robert is clear he'll not do anything to

help, assuming he gets here at all.

Even the funeral speech is awful

I'm sure it's not that awful.

Yeah, it is.

I was thinking that maybe Robert...

..should write the speech.

He's such a good writer.

Maybe we should

let him do it.

You're every bit as good a writer as

your brother Daniel, if not better,...

...you just have to let somebody

else read your novel.

Everything is gonna be okay.

When the funeral is over...

...we just have to focus on

moving out of here

...and starting our own

lives properly.

You called them?

Didn't you Daniel?

You did put the deposit

on the flat?

I'll sort it out.

I promise.

God, i hate funerals.

Don't you?

They're just so depressing.

It's just the death and

everything...

...know what i mean?

Do you agree Justin?

Justin?

Yeah, it's alright

Alright? How can you possibly think

of that as alright?

Why are you even coming to this?

You don't even know Daniel.

I do know Daniel.

I met him a couple of times.

A couple of times. Well he's not

a friend, is he?

No, not a friend

If you're gonna smoke will you please

put that out the window?

I'd rather not get your cancer

thank you very much.

I got my own problems to be

worrying about.

Yeah, like what?

The discoloration on my wrist

i keep telling you about

Look at it.

It's f***ed.

I'm f***ed.

Why are we even coming, eh?

Cause of Martha, isn't it?

Justin...

Are you okay?

Not too bad, thanks Martha.

I'm a bit nervous.

About seeing my Dad?

I just don't think i've been so

openly hated by anyone before.

He just hates everyone.

You mustn't take it to heart.

You need to relax with him.

I can't help it.

He puts me on edge.

He'll be more concerned his sister

husband just died.

He's not gonna be focused

on you.

Anyway, I'm sure when i tell him

that we're getting married...

...He'll start to learn

to accept you.

Are you sure about that?

Of course.

I can't really see Victor

as the accepting type.

We're on our way to a funeral you wanker!

Haven't you got any respect?

Okay, calm down.

It's all right, breathe.

Through your nose.

Okay?

Deep breaths.

You alright?

That f***ing...

Alright, i'm gonna go down.

Hope they brought the right

coffin this time.

I'll come with you.

It's okay, I can do it.

I know, I know you can.

I'm just gonna check on

the seats

To make sure there's enough room

for uncle Alfie.

Sh*t

Hello?

Hey mate. How are you?

You alright?

Yeah.

Of course I remember

uncle Alfie.

Absolutely fine.

Yeah, not a problem ata all.

No. Of course I don't mind.

Alright. Yeah, don't worry.

It's fine.

I promise.

See you soon.

Okay, bye.

Sh*t

Is this...your father sir?

Yes, it is yes.

Hey mum.

Yoy allright?

I just don't know what i'm

going to do without him.

What do i have to live for now?

Don't be silly.

You got your friends, family...

You got me and Jane

and Robert...

Where is Robert?

Have you heard from him?

His plane will land at 10:00

But he'll be here.

Don't worry.

If there's anything i can do Sandra...

Don't put your hand there dear...

...you'll leave marks

I'll get'em to you

this evening.

No, can't do it this afternoon.

I got a funeral

Yeah, my uncle died.

Yeah, tragic.

I'm telling you mate.

This is really powerfull stuff.

You really only need to take half

Trust me. You're gonna

bite your f***ing head off.

I gotta go.

My sister's in.

I'll tell you if i get to the bar

after the funeral.

Bye.

Hang on!

Hi. How's it going?

Troy you're not ready?

Come on, we're gonna be late.

I put on my trousers and

I'm done.

Are you guys okay?

Simon is a bit freaked out.

Some a**hole almost drived us

off the road.

F***ing bastards. Make youselves comfy.

I'll be out in 2 minutes.

Look at these pills all

over the place.

Troy is studying to be

a pharmacist

Are you okay?

i'm a bit shaky...

Not much, just a little...

Take one of these.

It will calm you down.

You sure?

Absolutely.

It's just Valium

I used to take them all the time.

It will make you feel better.

Honestly.

Come on. Open wide.

I'm ready.

Hello?

Hello?

Robert?

Robert.

Hi, mom.

Darling.

Happy to see you

- How are you doing?

- Okay.

Hi Robert.

How are you?

Good.

How was your flight?

Great... There was a lot of turbulance

that was a bit worrying...

That's the thing about 1st class.

It doesn't matter how much you pay

for the ticket...

...if the plane crushes we're

all gonna end up dead.

Sorry.

No, no, I'll go.

Don't worry.

Sh*t.

That's him.

Jesus Howard. You didn't say he was

gonna be in a f***ing wheelchair

Uncle Alfie, hello.

We're here to take you

to the funeral.

Where the f*** have you been?

You're late.

This is bloody grim, isn't it?

It's not supposed to be fun.

I know, but Jesus...

I feel like my heart has been wrenched

out of my ribcase.

It's awful

Well, that's grief for you.

That's why i don't like

close relationships

Too much emotion about

I'm just glad you're

gonna be here with mom.

Yeah, well not for long.

Jane and i are moving out.

What about mom?

Actually I was thinking

maybe she'd like to...

...to come with you to New York

for a bit.

Don't be ridiculus.

I can't take her to New York.

What am i gonna do with her?

Take her to parties?

We've already decided.

We're putting a deposit

in a flat.

- I'm gonna need money.

- What money?

Money for all this.

For the funeral.

You agreed to pay the half.

- Did I?

- Yeah.

Yeah, so...

Yeah, I don't have it on me Daniel.

I can get it to you in a few... months.

A few months?

Robert, I need it now.

Can't happen

I'm skinned.

What do you mean skinned?

You're a succesful novelist

you live in New York...

...and you have a penthouse there.

What do you mean?

Do you have any idea how

much it costs for upkeeping it?

And besides this, i payed a fortune

to fly out here

Do you know how much they charge for

It's a f***ing disgrace.

So, poor old uncle Eddie, eh?

Yes.

Did you ever meet uncle Eddie, Simon?

Simon?

Was there a dog in here

just now?

What?

I'm sure there was a dog in here.

What the hell are you talking about?

There's nowhere to park.

This is ridiculus.

How about over there?

The guy is coming out

Take it!

Alright!

What are you doing?

Are you mental?

Sorry.

Excuse me.

Sorry...

Oh, hi Martha.

I was just about to park there

actually.

Are you a relative, Howard?

No, I'm not.

But...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes