Death Race 2050 Page #2

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I know you've

won a lot of races,

and I hope for both our sakes that

age hasn't diminished your skills.

But this is a prince of

an opportunity for me,

and I have blown my

share of frogs to get it.

So, show me some professional

courtesy and smile for the camera.

That way, we both win.

(ENGINE STARTING)

What is this?

It's my gear bag.

(OBJECTS CLATTERING)

(OBJECTS CLATTERING)

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

(ENGINE REVVING)

(BEEPS)

Holy Chairman's hair!

Frankenstein!

Oh, my God! Frankenstein!

(CROWD CHEERING) Here he

comes, ladies and gentlemen.

Battered and bruised,

slashed and gashed,

ripped up, tripped up, turned

around, but never torn down.

Made from the part bin

and hungry for one more win!

Part man,

part machine, all legend.

The one,

the only, Frankenstein!

(CHEERING)

They really love you.

You could've died a champion,

but now you'll have to taste

defeat at the hands of perfection.

You'll pay for that, boy.

Citizens,

you know who I am,

The Chairman of the United

Corporations of America.

(CROWD CHEERING)

I love you. (KISSES)

Europe, Asia, cancer,

we kicked them all in the ass!

The only thing that can kill an

American is another American!

It's survival of the fittest,

do or die.

Citizens, get ready

to race for your lives!

(ENGINES REVVING)

ABE:
Rerouting.

You think science can defeat

the divine truth?

Math is for

heathens and nerds!

(ENGINE REVVING)

I swear by St. Dwayne "The Rock"

Johnson, I will slap that sinful tramp.

Boo-yeah!

Shouldn't we go back?

I don't go back.

What are you doing?

Oh, brother. Motherf***er!

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

How about

a burial at sea!

Let him pass.

(ENGINE REVS)

(CRASHING)

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

Time to shine.

(ROPE STRAINING)

(GRUNTING)

I am Perfectus!

How you like me now, America?

Meh.

Well, looks like we lost him.

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTS)

(VISOR HISSING)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

What?

What!

No one's ever seen your face.

The mask is a gimmick!

And plus, it's itchy!

And in the future,

would you mind not yelling out

stupid things like, "Let him pass!"

Right, no,

you never let anybody pass.

The next thing, you're gonna be

yelling out, like, "Are you crazy?

"Is this a suicide move?"

I think I already know

the answer to both of those.

Just pipe down.

Look, it's just

that I was terrified.

(SIGHS)

It's easy,

just try to face the inevitability

of a violent death.

(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

Hmm.

He took the f***ing mask off. The

marketing guys are gonna go nuts.

(EXHALES DEEPLY, GRUNTS)

Job, jobs, jobs,

I'm just creating jobs.

Don, do you like your job?

Yes, I'm happy to be

gainfully employed, sir.

Do you like Frankenstein?

Um... Do you?

CROWD:
(CHANTING) Frankenstein!

Frankenstein! Frankenstein!

I did.

(BEEPING)

(GROANS, GRUNTING)

(BEEPING)

Hey, yo, b*tch!

(MOANING)

Unplug that sh*t and

find yourself a real man!

F***ing Creamer!

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

(MACHINE BEEPS)

ABE:
Warning, meltdown

imminent- (ALARM BEEPING)

That'll do.

ABE:
Attack, attack!

Attack, attack!

Oh, what the f***!

(GROWLS) Oh! Sh*t's about to

get real up in this b*tch!

CHILD:
Come on.

We're out of Mood-Whiz again!

Honey, I'm trying to

watch the Death Race.

Come on, this is more

than cracker topping.

This is a delicious treatment for clinical

depression! (CHILDREN CHATTERING)

"For the treatment

of hunger and mild psychosis"?

Maybe you need

the extra strength!

(LAUGHING)

(BEEPS)

(EXCLAIMING)

Yay! Ga-ga-ga-gooey!

(EXCLAIMING)

What a fantastic kill,

ladies and gentlemen!

And with judges approving

her pre-race spectator kills,

Tammy is out to a comfortable

lead with style!

Now, each driver has split off

into their own preferred route,

as they race toward

tonight's first checkpoint.

Check, please!

Oh, yes,

and this is

the part of the race

that really gives me

the tinkly-winklies!

Shameful.

The shame is ours.

And here's a bit of

inspired fan art...

We need to watch this!

We've watched enough!

Brothers and sisters,

this was once a great nation.

A shining city upon a hill,

where people worked,

and lived, and loved,

and had book clubs.

The Death Race...

No, brothers and sisters

of the Resistance.

Today we fight back!

ALL:
Yeah!

Mrs. Hamilton, again,

I respectfully disagree.

We must use education, eh?

Peaceful protest.

Perhaps if we

form a committee...

You know what the Dalai Lama

said about committees?

Oh, that's right, he didn't talk about

committees, because he wasn't a p*ssy.

Brothers and sisters,

remember,

I lived in

the belly of the beast.

I was a network programmer.

Hmm-mmm.

We must stop

the Death Race!

We must kill every single racer

and send them all to oblivion!

ALL:
Yeah!

Give us liberty,

or give them death!

ALL:
Yeah!

F***ing b*tch!

I hate to say it, Chi Wapp, but I'm

starting to lose my temper, yo!

(CLICKS TONGUE) Aight, it's time

to even the score. Hit that sh*t.

CHI WAPP:
Yo, yo, yo.

Time to get three-fingers-deep

with the soul survivor

Minerva Jefferson!

(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

(SINGING) Drive, drive,

drive, drive (CHEERING)

Drive, drive, drive, drive

Drive, drive, kill, kill

Drive, drive, drive

Kill, drive, kill, drive

Kill the white man

Here we go.

Jihad for Jimi Hendrix!

(SCREAMING)

(THUDDING)

(SQUELCHING)

(GASPS)

(GLASS SHATTERING)

(SCREAMING)

Those were my fans!

(CACKLING)

I'm gonna kill that b*tch.

(BIRDS SQUAWKING)

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

This thing

have a Hole-Vision?

Radio?

How about an interview?

Well, that was classic

Frankenstein back there.

Have you ever run your car

off a building before?

Look, we need some

candid reaction stuff, okay?

Have you ever

thought about your legacy?

Have you ever...

Okay, dude.

(SNIFFING)

What are you doing?

I'm transmitting your smell

to millions of people.

If you won't talk to me,

that's the best I can do.

Three questions.

Do you think that

Jed Perfectus can beat you?

No.

Do you consider

yourself a role model?

Hell, no.

Got any soft spots

under that armor?

Feelings, any places

I could stick a knife?

No, no, and no.

End of interview.

Hmm.

Boy, you're the worst.

It's your fault.

What?

You're asking yes

or no questions.

Are you telling me

how to conduct an interview?

I've covered every major story

for the last five years.

Then why become a proxy?

Because it's hard to turn

global famine into clickbait!

The corporations

want positive news

and that's

increasingly hard to find.

So, how do you feel

about the Death Race, Annie?

ANNIE:
Um...

(CHUCKLES)

You see, open-ended questions...

Much better interview.

I just got

a message from a fan.

An easy scoring opportunity,

take a left.

And it's great to see so many of

you Asian parents turn out today!

You're the lifeblood

of every school.

(WHEELCHAIRS CLAN KING)

Wait a minute, wait a minute,

I think I see our VIP coming.

Yes, there he is!

Let's give him a warm Bieber

Elementary School welcome!

(CROWD CHEERING)

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