Deathtrap Page #4

theater and now i'm here--

We get--We get the gist

of the message, clifford.

But, um, you see,

the thing is, uh, look.

It's as if

i went to a doctor,

One of the world's

leading specialists,

And he recommended

surgery.

Well, even--Even

with all my respect

For his eminence,

his experience,

I still want to get

a second opinion, wouldn't i?

Oh, i mean, i'm sure

that your ideas are terrific.

When i hear them,

I'm probably going to

hit my head and say,

"Wow, why didn't i think

of doing it that way?"

But, uh, i think

you're right, mrs. Bruhl.

I don't think it would be fair

for me to hear them now

Without some sort of

an understanding or arrangement.

And, uh, to be

perfectly honest with you,

Without having heard them,

I really feel that deathtrap

is pretty good as it is.

What i ought to do, i think,

is just xerox a few copies

And send them off

to those agents

That you recommended

in the seminar.

And, uh, well, if they say

it needs major rewriting,

I'll be back here begging you

to do what mrs. Bruhl suggested.

We can make whatever arrangement

you think is fair at that time.

Maybe the same one

you had with mr. Kaufman.

Um, i really hope

i haven't offended you.

Not at all.

Oh, mr. Anderson,

please.

Agents only know

about contracts.

They don't know

about creative...

Don't, myra!

Don't beg!

He'll think he has the wealth

of the indies in there

And we're mr. And mrs.

Long john silver.

I would never think

anything like that.

Really, i am

very grateful to you

For going out of

your way to help me.

But the truth is

i'm not really.

Myra here has just been

rattling on for a moment.

The fact is, i do

not wish to set aside

A play as timely

and inventive

As

the drowning wife

In order to do

wet-Nurse work

On something

as speculative

As deathtrap.

Why--Myra, sit down.

Don't hover!

Sit down!

Do as you said. Show

it to some agents,

And then, if you decide

that a major rewrite

Is in order,

get in touch.

Who knows,

i might hit a snag.

It's happened

before.

Thank you very much,

i will.

Though i doubt that

i shall this time.

I already have

the drowning wife

Completely outlined

And i'm halfway

through it.

And i have a play

ready to go next.

Based on the life

of harry houdini.

Jeez, there's been so much

television stuff on houdini.

Oh, yes, lousy stuff.

Phony and pathetic.

In reality,

Houdini's life was

extraordinarily dramatic.

He's always been

an idol of mine.

These are a pair

of his handcuffs.

Sidney.

He always made his own

magical apparatus,

Did you know that?

Extraordinary

craftsmanship.

Take a look.

Sidney.

Wow!

Sit down, myra.

My god, sidney,

for god's sakes,

I don't even believe

what you're thinking.

I must apologize for myra's

suspicions, clifford.

But a few years back,

we had a nasty experience

With a plagiaristic

playwright,

Whose name

we will not mention.

So now she gets alarmed if i

so much as tell a fellow writer

What language i'm writing in.

Don't take it personally.

Oh, have a--

Have a good look at those.

They're quite remarkable.

Jeez, they really seem

like very solid,

Escape-Proof cuffs.

Give them a try.

Huh! Well, you mean

put them on?

They cost me $1,300.

Wow! Let's see.

Firmly manacled?

Yeah, it sure

seems that way.

Now turn your wrists

like this,

Now, turn, press, pull.

No, you're not

doing it right.

It's got to be all

in one single moment.

Turn, press, pull.

Both:

turn, press, pull.

I guess i'm just

not houdini.

It's all right.

I have the keys here.

Somewhere.

Don't fuss with them,

clifford, you'll ruin them.

Sorry.

Key, key, key. Where are you,

little brass key?

I wonder if i put it

up there somewhere.

[Whistling]

Um...

I forgot to mention

that i should be getting

A phone call

any minute now.

There's a girl that's coming

to see me at, uh, at 8:30.

It's about what time

it is now, isn't it?

You see, i--I couldn't

reach her before i took off,

So i just left her a note

in the hall mirror,

Telling her where i am

and giving her this number.

Uh, so she can call

and find out

What train i'll

be taking back,

So she can pick me up

at the station.

I mean,

one 2-Hour walk a day

Is just about enough

for me.

So i hope you find

the key pretty soon,

Otherwise, you'll have

to hold the phone for me.

How's she going to get in

to read the note?

Oh, she has a key.

Ah. You said in the car you

didn't know anyone in quogue,

Except a few tradespeople.

No, you see,

she's from islip.

Her name is

marietta kelnofski.

She teaches at

stoney brook. Phys. Ed.

How'd you get this number?

It's not listed.

I've had it

for a long time.

I got it from mrs. Beecham

at the university.

I'm very friendly

with her.

That's before i decided

to send deathtrap

To the music box.

Beecham?

Yes. The short

red-Haired lady

With the hearing aid.

I hope she gave you

the right number

Because we changed it

a few weeks ago.

An obscene caller

was boring us,

And i don't remember notifying

old southampton college.

What number did you

give ms. Kelnofski?

Well,

i don't remember.

Or 324-5457?

Uh, the first one,

it was 3049.

Ah, the new one.

I must have notified

the university

And completely

forgot about it.

How strange and

how untypical of me.

Well, uh, could you go on

looking for the key, please?

Certainly.

Sidney!

What?

My heart won't take it.

Did you take your pill?

Uh-Uh.

Why are you so anxious?

You must know that i'll

find the key here somewhere.

Oh, sidney!

Egads, i do believe

that you two thought

I was going

to take that mace

And do a vincent price,

didn't you?

You can't write

a play like that

And not have a mind that

envisions possibilities.

True, very true.

I'm paranoid myself.

What's your excuse,

o loyal and loving wife?

marital relations,

And she apparently believes me

capable of, well...

There's a lesson in there

somewhere, isn't there? Hmm?

Ahem.

Here we are, clifford.

Uncuff yourself.

Deathtrap is promising,

but it's not that promising.

Good.

I think your best

invention so far

Is the name

marietta klenofski.

It's lovely.

Congratulations.

Well, thanks.

Mrs. Beecham's

hearing aid however,

That was a bit heavy.

Oh, i hoped it was

the kind of fine detail

That you always

told us to try for.

Are you sure this

is the right key?

Egads, houdini

opened them in a milk can

and you--

Aah!

Aaah!

[Myra screaming]

Shut up, myra!

Right on the rug.

One point for neatness.

Well, my darling,

Your heart seems to have

held up quite well.

It can convalesce

on the riviera.

After the opening

of deathtrap.

We'll go to prison

for life.

No, we will not.

A young would-Be

playwright...

Walks away from his

house-Sitting job.

No. The police

won't even yawn.

Leaving his clothes

and his typewriter.

Why not? Who can

figure kids these days?

Especially

would-Be artistes.

Maybe he realized

he wasn't going to make it,

So he ran off

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