Deathtrap Page #7

writes itself out?

Yeah, that's right.

No notes?

No outlines?

Well, this isn't

a thriller, sidney.

It's not dependent on

intricate plotting

And contrived theatrics.

I mean...

See,

these are real people.

And all i'm doing is

just bringing them on,

Letting them pour out their

dreams and frustrations.

You know,

like the clerks

With their pettiness

and frustration.

And the clients

with their bitterness

And their battered

self-Esteem.

I've really lost interest

in thrillers, sidney.

What i'm doing here

is relevant.

Even though

you said that word,

I am still going

to let you stay here.

Let me see a few pages.

Ah, i'd rather wait till

the whole thing's done.

I'll just give it to you

in one glorious bundle.

Do you mind?

Of course,

what's another half hour?

Nothing doing?

Why don't you have

helga ten dorp over?

I don't know,

Maybe talking with her

might spark something.

You do like to live

dangerously, don't you?

No way. I do not want her

on the premises.

Never again, thank you.

Oh, i don't know.

Maybe not

when the moon is full,

But any other time,

why not?

I mean, christ,

look at the egg she laid

On the griffin show.

That was pathetic.

Yes. She was

pretty rattled.

[Doorbell rings]

I'll go.

We don't want to break

the flow, do we, dear?

Porter.

How are you,

sidney?

Oh, i'm not

too bad, thanks.

There are a couple

of things--

I had to be in the area

And i just decided

to take a chance--

Uh, thank you.

You feel up

to a few papers?

Why not? I'd be glad

of the break.

Would you like

some coffee?

Of course i would.

Sidney:
this is clifford

anderson, my secretary.

My friend, porter milgrim.

How do you do, sir?

How do you do?

Sidney:
i would say my attorney,

but he'd bill me.

Ah, well, i'm going

to bill you anyways.

It's a business call.

Look at that.

Isn't that a beauty?

Partner's desk.

Mmm. Where did you

find it?

I happened on it

last week.

It makes more sense

Than cluttering

up the place

With 2 single ones.

And it is

deductible, porter.

Well, uh, shouldn't

i go get the groceries now?

And you and mr. Milgrim

can talk in private.

Would you mind?

No. I have to do it sometime.

Might as well go now.

Oh, wait a second,

porter.

Hold on, clifford.

Porter:
take your time,

sidney.

I haven't started

the clock yet.

I like this room--

Has character.

It's a pleasure

to be working here.

He's looking well.

Well, just in the last

few days, really.

You know, it was

pretty bad last week.

He was crying

every night.

You could hear him

right through the walls.

He was drinking, too.

Ahh.

But he'll be all right.

You know, his work's

a great solace to him.

Oh, it should do.

We just need salad things,

milk, paper napkins.

I'm going to gibson's.

Got the keys

to the car? Yeah.

Oh, and yogurt.

Any flavor but prune.

Well, it's very nice

meeting you

Or see you later,

Whichever

it turns out to be.

Pleasant

young fellow.

Good-Looking,

too.

I guess.

Do you think

he's gay?

Oh, didn't strike me

that way.

I have a sneaking suspicion

he might be.

Still, so long

as he does his job

And doesn't fly on little

fairy wings into my chamber,

I suppose it's

none of my business.

Besides,

how people would talk

If i'd taken on a female

secretary, right?

If she were under 80.

That's why i called

clifford.

Good to see you looking

so well, sidney.

That's the main reason

i've come.

I was delegated by

the wessons and the harveys.

That young man's been

discouraging all callers,

And we were afraid

you might be

In worse shape

than he was letting on.

Obviously

that's not the case.

No, but i'm not up

to socializing yet.

But i'm coming through.

The work is

a great solace.

That's what he said.

Bring that damn thing

out on the porch.

Let's at least deal

with it in the sunlight.

Right.

And the next item on

the agenda is your will.

Now that myra's gone,

you ought to look it over.

As it stands, if anything

should happen to you,

Your cousins in england

would inherit.

Do you want to

leave it that way?

I'll deal with it

later.

You hang on to it,

porter.

Well,

don't put it off.

This is the third item:

This is

only approximate

Because i don't have

up-To-Date appraisal

On the real estate yet,

But this is what

you can anticipate...

Roughly...give or take

a few thousand dollars.

I had no idea

there was this much.

Porter:
well, old man...

You've gotten off cheap.

Sidney:

yes, i'm aware of that.

What's the procedure?

You dictate and he types?

Oh, no, i type

the first draft

And then he types...

and types and types.

He also

does the letters.

That what he was doing

before--Letters?

Oh, no. He's trying

to write his own play.

Oh, the seminar,

of course.

Yes,

he started yesterday,

Will probably finish

tomorrow.

Well, i hope he's not

stealing your esp idea.

Have you discussed it

with him?

What in the world

makes you say that?

Well, whatever

he was working on,

He locked it up

in this drawer.

Unobtrusively,

but i noticed.

No, not unobtrusively.

Slyly.

Then again, maybe he was

afraid you'd steal his idea.

Oh, the dreams

and frustrations

Of welfare workers?

He worked

in a welfare office?

Yeah, that's where

he was before.

Oh, well, then it was

only force of habit.

People in large offices

often lock their desks.

I'm sorry

if i worried you, sidney.

Suspicious legal mind.

He's probably exactly

what he seems--

An honest and helpful

young man.

Completely trustworthy.

No doubt.

Oh, that, uh, check

from the insurance company--

Has it come yet?

No.

Well, i'm sure it's something

you'd rather not do yourself.

Would you like me

to get after them?

Would you mind?

I'll write them

first thing in the morning.

I'd appreciate that,

porter.

When are you coming

to town to have dinner?

Oh, in a week or two,

I'll be ready to face

the world again.

Good.

Good.

Good-Bye, porter.

I'm proud of you,

sidney.

Sh*t.

Bloody

old-World craftsmen.

[Car engine,

screeching tires]

Where have you been?

Gibson's.

Then i stopped by

the jeans shop.

Got mauled by

that b*tch nan wesson.

She thinks i'm standing

between you two.

And so you are,

luv.

I'll put away.

Clifford:
no, that's

all right. I'll do it.

You shopped.

I'll put away.

I know you want to get back

to your welfare office.

Well,

only literarily.

[Coins clank]

Change is

in the bowl.

[Typing]

Cliff, can you

come in here a sec?

Where are you?

What's going on?

Hello?

Where the hell

were you?

Where the hell

were you?

I--I thought you

hadn't heard me,

So i--I ambled round

through the dappled day.

I thought you might

like one of these.

I had a sudden craving

as in the commercials.

So, you've lost your

interest in thrillers?

Mm-Hmm.

No taste for

the intricate plotting,

The 2-Dimensional

characters.

You want to do

something real...

And meaningful...

socially relevant.

Hey, give me a break,

will you?

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