Deconstructing Harry Page #6

She's got a Ph.D.

l bet she got an "A" on her|oral exam.

Give me a break!|l drive upstate...

and take the time to drop in|to say hello.

Can you believe they're|honoring me at Adair? l can't.

Not that l care, but it's great|for Hilly to see me.

The last time l saw him|he was six years old.

You don't exactly contact me either.

l know what you think of me.

Please Doris, don't start in.

Am l wrong?|lt's all in your book.

"Too Jewish",|"professional Jewish".

You attributed it to your ex-wife,|but used the details of my life...

to depict herwith contempt.

-What are you talking about?|-What am l talking about?

You portrayed your 'ex'|as a horror.

And to make her unsympathetic,|you used some of her,...

but mostly you caricatured|my religious dedication.

Because it always enraged you that|l returned to my roots.

What roots? You were a wonderful,|sweet kid.

You got me through my childhood.

Then you go to Fort Lauderdale...

and you meet this fanatic,|this zealot.

He fills you full of superstition.

lt's tradition.

Tradition is the illusion|of permanence.

You have no values.|Your life...

it's nihilism, cynicism,|sarcasm and orgasm.

ln France l could run on|that slogan and win.

l'm aJew. l was born aJew.|Do you hate me because ofthat?

And if our parents converted...

to Catholicism a month before you|were born, we'd be Catholics.

They're clubs.|They're exclusionary.

They foster the concept of|"the other"...

so you know who to hate.

That's enough!

A question:
lf a Jew|gets massacred...

does it bother you more than|if it's a Gentile...

or a black or a Bosnian?

Yes, it does. l can't help it.|lt's my people.

They're all your people.

Burt is right about you.|You're a self-hating Jew.

l may hate myself,|but not because l'm Jewish.

Not a self-hating Jew,...

but look how he talks about them|in his stories.

Max and Dolly Pincus|were married for 30 years.

They raised two children...

participated generously at|family weddings and bar mitzvahs.

Max, How are you?

Mazel tov. Here, for Donald.

Thank you, Max.

Dolly!

You got a private minute?

Sure. We're leaving anyhow|in a few minutes.

l don't know if|l should tell you.

What? Tell me what?

Tell me, and l'll tell you|if you should tell me.

My heart is heavy.

Nothing terrible happened|to your husband Phil, did it?

He's been dead for so many years.

When l was in Florida last week...

l ran into a man...

who heard from someone|who knew someone who...

Anyway...

it seems Max has some secret|from his past.

You're talking about my Max?

-A dark secret.|-What kind of a dark secret?

Dark!

What is by you dark?

l don't know.

What kind of dark secret?|We've been married for 30 years.

You're his first wife?

Sure l'm his first wife.

Before me, he worked for...

What?

You heard something different?

l heard only a dark secret.|Do l knowwhat?

Who told you?

Wolf Fishbein.

Be careful, Dolly.

That's all l want to say.

Dolly tried putting Elsie's words|out of her mind...

but Max's dark secret|plagued her.

Then one day she ran into|Wolf Fishbein...

and the truth was revealed.

Try to breathe deeply.

Elsie, you were right.

Fishbein told me a tale.

Max, before l met him,|lived in Florida.

He had a store. Groceries.

He was married.

Now it comes out!

To a woman...

with two children.

Max had other children?

No. The woman's children.

From a prior marriage.

He began an affair...

with the downstairs neighbor,|a widow.

He probably had all his hair then.

Meanwhile, he got into debt.

Deeper and deeper.

And then carry on|with the neighbor.

Oy, my heart!

He can't get himself out|of a predicament.

So what does he do?

He stole money.

l should be so lucky!

He killed his wife!

No!

The man purchased an ax.

With an ax?

You know Max.|He's nothing with tools.

He can't even hang a picture.

l'm dropping dead!

Plus her children!

Plus the neighbor!

Four.

Four people he killed|in one night with an ax.

Your Max?

-And this is not the capper.|-There's more?

More!

What more?

He ate them.

What, are you talking crazy?

He devoured them.

l can't breathe.|Everything is closing in.

Whatever you do...

first hear Max's side.

Max has a side?

He kills his family|and eats them up.

The man has a side?

He was a good husband and|loving father for 30 years.

You have a daughter who|went to college.

You have a son who's awriter.

Maybe the best course of action|is to let sleeping dogs lie.

Honey, would you|pass the sour cream?

You haven't touched a thing.

Nice weather.

lt's okay.

lt's not just okay.|lt's nice.

All right. What are you getting|so steamed up about?

What makes you such an|authority on the weather?

Me?

-All l said was...|-l know what you said.

The fish is delicious.

Wouldn't you rather have meat?

Since when do l eat meat?

With my arteries, you gotta|watch the cholesterol.

-Uh-huh.|-What is the "uh-huh"?

You've been very touchy lately.

Don't interrogate me...

Mr. Max Pinchick!

Where did you hearthat name?

Did you kill your first wife|with an ax?

l got a headache.

Did you chop her up?|Along with your mistress?

Okay.

lf l tell you why l did it,|do you promise not to nudge me?

Wolf Fishbein said,|in orderto hide the bodies...

you ate them!

So, what are you making a fuss?

Some bury,|some burn...

l ate!

l remember "Max Pincus's|Dark Secret".

And you don't see your|sick view of our parents?

l wrote it when l was young.

The first of many anti-Semitic|pieces ofwork.

Direct from the Wailing Wall.

Disrespectful.|Shameful.

The Jews haven't suffered enough,|you depict us as cannibals?

No spiritual center.|He's betting on physics and p*ssy.

Excuse the expression.

He gets cancer, he's straight to|the synagogue in a yarmulke.

Why should l get cancer?|l eat broccoli.

You care about the Holocaust?|Or you think it never happened?

Not only do l know that|we lost 6 million...

the scary thing is that|records are made to be broken.

l know what's out there.|Do you?

He creates offensive Jewish|stereotypes, like in "Der Sturmer".

Max is a version of Daddy,|who you hated.

A man you accuse of being|aterrible parent.

He was aterrible parent.

Thank you for dropping by.

Come again in another 4 years.

Wouldn't it be a better world|if not every group...

thought they had a direct line|to God.

He thinks l'm all|Jewish paranoia.

No. l think you're the|opposite of a paranoid.

l think you have the delusion|that people like you.

-What's the matter?|-Son of a b*tch!

What's wrong?

You sick, sick, sick,...

f***ing bastard!

What's wrong?

What's wrong? You've been having|an affair with one of my patients.

Who?

You know what|l'm talking about!

Don't speak!

She just told me|the whole thing.

-Who?|-Who? Who! Who!

Mrs. Pollack. Amy Pollack.

Can l explain something?

No. You cannot explain anything!

Will you calm down?

Don't tell me to calm down!

What's wrong with you?

What is wrong?

l treat this woman|and she exits.

You meet her and you f*** her!

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