Deconstructing Harry Page #5

Somebody stop him!

Somebody call the police!

-lt's fabulous up here.|-Beautiful.

Look, a ferris wheel!

-Look at the swings!|-Want to go?

Yeah!

Very good!

Would you like this?

Dad, high-five!

You want some ofthis joint?

No. l can't stand that stuff.

You see that place there?

That Red Apple Rest?

Years ago...

my then wife, Jane,|and l...

were coming back from|her sister's house...

and we had a fight.

She had her period, and we|stopped to get water for Midol.

l don't want a child!

And don't bring it up|in front of my parents!

-l don't understand.|-We've discussed it!

-Don't l get a vote?|-You have a child!

-Who l never get to see!|-That's not my fault!

l like being a father.

l'm not Lucy. You knew|that when you married me!

So your work means no children.

Since when are you a family man?

Don't think l don't see|you staring at my sister Lucy.

What?

Don't play ignorant.

You watch her walk and sit.

You can't keep|your eyes off hertoes!

Are you f***ing nuts?|What are you suggesting?

l wouldn't put it past you if you|wanted to have athing with her.

She's a neurotic, suburban Hausfrau!

l have no interest in her.|Zero. Nothing.

You're level of denial|is a little intense.

You're suffering from|a pre-menstrual nuclear meltdown.

You want a hit?

No. That smoke is killing me.

l'm going to go to the bathroom.|Catch you later.

Cold fish, your third ex-wife.

She never would have made|a good mother.

Who are you?

lt's me. Ken!

Look at this guy! You created me,|now you don't recognize me?

l'm a little bit high because|of her smoke...

How'd you ever|hook up with Jane?

Jane was fine. Jane was just|having her period. She was...

lt wasn't just her period.

She was a cold, selfish woman.

She's so self-involved she doesn't|realize her sister hates her.

How do you know so much?

l'm just you, thinly disguised.

You gave me a little more|maturity and a different name.

Are you saying that l knowthis?

Yes!|That's why you picked her!

So it wouldn't work, and you'd|never have to give up...

sport-f***ing and chronic|dissatisfaction and grow up.

l won't stand here and get|lectured by my own creation.

You can't fool me.

l'm not your shrink.|He only knows what you tell him.

l knowthe truth.

And her sister, Lucy.

Another head-case.

You sure can pick them.

But even she was better|than Jane.

More maternal and she loved you.

You weren't there the day your|bomb dropped on her...

but take a look.

He left me!

Our marriage is finished!

l'm sorry to hear that.

You shocked?

Yes and no.

Things have not been very good|for some time.

l knew he played around.

Did you?|You never mentioned that.

l don't like to discuss|my private life.

First suspected Lynn, his editor.|Then l thought...

it might be Allison Davis,|a friend of ours.

l even thought he might have|a crush on you.

Me?

You're beautiful and we've spent|a lot oftime together...

and you two get along very well.

Obviously l knew you never would|in a million years...

but l imagined he longed for you.

l even heard him mention|your name in his sleep once.

My goodness.

That's absurd!

Really!

You're all red!

No!

Are you okay?

Since we're talking openly...

l have a confession to make.

Yes?

Life sometimes takes very|strange twists and turns.

lt overwhelms us, and we can't|help our feelings.

Our feelings are irrational.

But to hear from your husband|that he found another woman!

He said that?

He said his future|is all mapped out.

l'm going to be totally|frank with you.

-Try to hang on and understand.|-What? l'm being replaced.

But it doesn't have to be|a nightmare...

ifwe're all just mature about it.

Replaced by a 25-year-old.

-Excuse me?|-A 25-year-old.

A wanna-be writer. Fay Sexton is her|sexy name.

What's the matter?|Now you're white!

Lucy have you|eaten anything today?

Have a drink.|Finish that.

-How could l believe such a liar.|-l'm weak!

What's wrong?

You'd think he dumped you.

-You feel bad, but can handle it.|-Air!

l'm in shock today, but...

l want to speak to Fay.

lt's Harry Block. l've been trying|to reach her.

No, it's an emergency.|l gotta talk...

Tell her to call me back.|lt's the car number.

Yes. The car!

-She's in love with someone else.|-This guy is too old for her.

Younger than you.

l'm much too old for her.|lt's ridiculous.

-But my immaturity makes me boyish.|-ls it much longer, Dad?

-We just got done at the fair.|-You're speeding.

-About how much longer is it?|-lt won't be long.

Okay, my sister lives|ten minutes from here.

We'll surprise her.|lt'll be fun.

-You can eat and walk around.|-She's your half-sister.

But it'll still be 10 minutes...

not 5, 'cause she's|a half-sister.

lt's wonderful!

-lt is so funny.|-Do you think?

-And it's so sad.|-You're so sweet.

l love it.

You're so great.|You're so kind to me.

You have such a sweet,|kind instinct.

Don't do that.

l count on you|to be critical...

to really be tough.|You're too easy on me.

What's wrong with this?

What's wrong is that it had...

it had no energy.

l became discouraged with it.

lt doesn't release any power.|lt's nothing.

l thought it was really touching.

You knew when the boy grew up|he would never learn to love.

l think your problem is...

that you love too easily,|and too much.

l think you're beautiful,|and great...

and too kind to me, and lovely.

But you're not in love with me.

l told you not to fall|in love with me.

But still haven't|figured out why.

Why? Because l'm the boy|in that story...

and l can't love.

So, l don't want you to|get into anything.

You love Hilly.

What?

You love Hilly.

Sure. l love Hilly.

He's my son. lt's easy to love|a little kid.

You love music.

And you love baseball.

Baseball's also easy,|because it has rules, foul lines...

but women are complicated.

Happy birthday.

You're kidding!

Come on, open it up.

You didn't have to|get me anything.

Another sweater, right?

A baseball signed by|the 1951 Giants.

Really! That's so great!

Bobby Thomson!

They were the one genuine miracle|of my lifetime!

When he hit that home run...

it was the only hint l've had|there may be a God.

What made you think of it?

lt was easy.

You are the greatest.

lt's your birthday,|so you get awish.

Anything at all that'll make|your day special.

You are the greatest.|l don't deserve you.

You're too...

Too what?

-We thought we'd stop in to see you.|-Come in!

This is Richard.|This is Cookie.

l'm your Aunt Doris.|You won't remember me.

Remember Uncle Burt?

You haven't seen him|in awhile.

lt's been a long while.

Something to eat?|A cookie or something?

Come in the kitchen.

l gotta go to the bathroom.|Where's the john?

The bathroom! You just go right|through there.

So, l thought we'd drop in.

You're the last person|l ever expected to see.

Don't say that, Doris.

-And what's with Cookie?|-Cookie's the nanny.

You get her from an agency|or massage parlor?

What are you picking on...

Still with the sex pots,|the tramps, the vilda chayes.

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