Deconstructing Harry Page #4

Synopsis: Harry Block is a well-regarded novelist whose tendency to thinly-veil his own experiences in his work, as well as his un-apologetic attitude and his proclivity for pills and whores, has left him with three ex-wives that hate him. As he is about to be honored for his writing by the college that expelled him, he faces writer's block and the impending marriage of his latest flame to a writer friend. As scenes from his stories and novels pass and interact with him, Harry faces the people whose lives he has affected - wives, lovers, his son, his sister.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Woody Allen
Production: New Line Home Entertainment
  Nominated for 1 Oscar. Another 2 wins & 4 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.4
Metacritic:
61
Rotten Tomatoes:
72%
R
Year:
1997
96 min
1,911 Views


Can l get a red wine?

Same thing she has, please?

l wanted to be the first|to tell you that...

l'm getting married.

Don't say that!

-Why?|-What do you mean?

Because...

l love you.|How can you get married?

Don't!

-Who? ls it Larry?|-Yes, it's Larry!

l knew it!

l don't f***ing believe this!

This guy's allegedly|a friend of mine.

lt's the Devil.|And l introduced you.

When Larry's around.|l smell burning sulfur.

Can we have your blessing?

No! You certainly|don't have my blessing!

l don't want you|to get married.

l don't want you to.

l should go.

l was your pupil.

lt was Henry Higgins|and Eliza Doolittle.

That's what it was,|and that's what you loved.

But it didn't work that way.|What can l say?

Why did you|fall in love with me?

You gave me endless lectures|on love in the Western world.

l didn't think l could.|l thought l was too damaged.

l woke up one morning, and|l looked at you over breakfast...

and l thought to myself...

God, this is what they mean.

This is what they were|talking about.

All those warnings not to|fall in love with you!

But then l fell in love with you.

Thought you were|another jerk fan...

l'd f*** you...

and move on to the next fan.|But that didn't happen.

You were a fan...

and a follower...

and then a pupil...

and then you were a roommate.

And before l knew it...

you had control|ofthe channel changer.

l loved you.

l was in awe of you.

But it wasn't in love with you.

My old university is honoring me,|if you can believe that.

Come with me, let me try|to talk you out of it...

Just one day.

l'm getting married tomorrow.

-Tomorrow? The day l'm honored?|-Yes! Tomorrow!

l can't f***ing believe this.

You're getting married tomorrow?

Yes. lt's been planned for months!

Don't do it!

"While Goldberg was asleep|onenight...

the devil entered his apartment...

abducted his beautiful|blonde love...

and took her to hell.

The next morning...

Goldberg noticed the odd smell of|burning sulfur".

Harry Block?

You're Cookie?

Cookie Williams.

You wanted me here at ten?

You wanna, shall we get to it?

You don't want to talk|a little first?

Talk? Why?

Really? Most guys don't|like to jump into bed...

without talking. They think it's|too businesslike.

Not me. l'm not...

that you'd tie me up.

Whatever you want! Let's settle|the monetary part and then relax.

Absolutely.

-You get $200?|-That's right.

So you want me to tie you up?

Yeah, tie me up.

l'd like you to hit me...

and give me a blowj*b.

A blowj*b, then you hit you.

No.

Hit me and then the blowj*b.

lf the order's not right,|it's no fun.

Tie me up, hit me,|give me a blowj*b.

What should l tie you with?

The truth is l thought you|were going to wear stockings.

Cookie,|you're a definite artist.

They should put your lips|in the Smithsonian.

lt took you awhile.|l didn't think you'd make it.

l was having a little|problem focusing.

Finally, l got the right fantasy.

l thought of awoman l saw|in the Sixth Avenue...

and l coupled herwith|Svetlana Stalin.

lt's the daughter of the dictator.|lt worked.

What do you take medicine for?

Me? Depression.

What are you depressed about?

Depressed. Don't you ever get|depressed?

Doesn't yourwork get you down?

lt's okay. Beats the hell out of|waitressing.

lt's funny.

Every hooker l meet says it|beats the hell out of waitressing.

Waitressing's got to be|the worst job in the world.

lt's unbelievable.

What are you sad about?

l'm spiritually bankrupt.|l'm empty.

What do you mean?

l'm frightened.

l got no soul.|Knowwhat l mean?

See, when l was younger,|it was less scary...

waiting for Lefty than it is|waiting for Godot.

You lost me.

You know that the universe is|coming apart?

You know what a black hole is?

Yeah.|That's how l make my living.

l gotta tell you, a great writer|named Sophocles...

said it was probably best|not to be born al all.

Honey, it's a little|too late forthat.

l didn't want to come out.|They had to come in and get me.

You want another blowj*b?

How come?

On the house. No charge.

Because them pills you takin'|sure ain't working.

l'm just in a peculiar mood|tonight.

Because l had|some bad news today.

Let me ask you,|what are you doing tomorrow.

Hustlin'.

Yeah?|Why don't you come with me?

Where?

l'm going to my old school.|They're honoring me.

l got nobody to share it with.

l'm serious. Come with me.

l'll give you 500 bucks.

Sleep here,|come up with me tomorrow.

Why you got all this money?

l always have|hooker money because...

l once paid by check years ago|and the lRS killed me.

Fay, when you get this message,|if it's not too late...

don't get married...

because l love you...

and l want to marry you.

l was looking at...

my last book...

at the part where we met.

l tried to exaggerate it|to make it funny...

but it was actually|very romantic.

-She can't hear.|-l'm in town.

Norman's meeting me for "Les Mis."|l have a free hour.

l don't know if l can.

l got our usual place at the|Wyndham. lt's been 2 weeks ago.

We gotta be fast. l can't make it|believable for so long.

You'll be back in an hour.

l have to be done by then anyway.

Think l'll take awalk.

Now?

Yes, l thought that l would just...

just get some fresh air.

Okay.

Excuse me.

Are you Harry Block?

Yes.

-Your writing's so meaningful to me.|-Thank you.

l can't believe l'm in|the elevator with you.

lt's no big deal.

Are you staying here?

No. l'm meeting someone.

What is this?

lt's stuck again.

lfthis was one of my stories,|this elevator would get stuck...

and you and l would start a major|affair, and fall in love.

Promise you won't|fall in love with me.

No?

Definitely not.|Not a good idea.

Why?

Because...

l'm too screwed up.

l have...

too many quirks.

l have trouble being faithful.

l have too many phobias.|l'm crazy.

Yeah, but l fell in love with you|before l met you.

When l read you.

Yes, but you fell in love|with my work.

That's a different thing.

l love yourwork.|l love your imagination.

l love it.

But this is not a book.|You know what l mean.

We're not characters|in a fictional thing.

-So don't fall in love with me.|-Kiss me.

-Promise you won't.|-No, kiss me.

l promise.

Thank you.

The subway took forever. Sorry.

You said you weren't coming.

What do you mean?

-We said 10. l'm sure.|-No.

l called last night,|to say l got out of my thing.

You called? When?

At 9.30 last night.|You don't remember?

l interrupted you writing.

-We spoke on the phone.|-Absolutely.

My mind has been playing tricks.

This is Cookie Williams,|Richard.

How ya doing?

What's so special|about this honor?

He's being honored by|the school that expelled him.

lf only Hilly could see me,|he'd be so proud.

lt's sad, but short of kidnapping,|he ain't coming.

Oh, dear!

Dad?

-Hilly, Where you going?|-What are you doing?

Stop it!

lt's an emergency.

What are you doing?|Come on!

You can't do this!

Hilly, get out ofthe car!

Somebody stop this man!|He's a deviant!

Rate this script:4.7 / 3 votes

Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and playwright, whose career spans more than six decades. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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