Deconstructing Harry Page #3

-You never return calls.|-Leave me alone!

-How do l reach you?|-Shall l call the police?

l've got a question.

-Will you stop?|-No. l won't listen.

Tomorrow they honor me at my old|school. l want to take Hilly.

-He has school tomorrow.|-Trade a visitation day.

No! l have plans with him.

lt'd be good for him|to see me honored.

l don't want him to.|l don't want him to see you ever!

He'll have a day in the country.|Will you stop?

A day in the country.|What is so bad?

He is 9 years old.

Where does he learn phrases like|"banging beaver" and " f*** God"?

What are you saying?|From me?

Do l look like an imbecile?

l know your conversations with him...

and l heard about "Open School Week".

Beth Kramer was appalled.

Dad?

Why doesn't my penis|look like yours?

Why doesn't your penis|look like mine?

Because your mother and l...

never had you circumcised.

When l was your age, you know|what kids used to do?

They used to name their penises.

l'm going to name mine Dillinger.

Dillinger is perfect!|Dillinger is great!

Hilly, you're inspired.|A genius.

Dillingerwas a genius|in his chosen profession...

like Willy Sutton.

Remember how we|discussed Freud once?

Freud said the two most important|things in life...

are the work that you chose|and sex.

Those two things.

Women...

are God.

God's awoman?

No. l'm not saying that.

We don't know ifthere's|a God...

but there are women.

Not in some imaginary heaven,|but right here on earth.

And some of them...|some of them...

shop at Victoria's Secret...

Beth Kramer has never been|so mortified in her entire life.

Beth Kramer's a tight-assed,|busy body c*nt...

and it's none of her business|how l speak to my son.

She is a decent parent|and great friend.

Bullshit!|Just change one visitation day.

What is so terrible?

No! He is not going to miss school!

lf Hilly was sick|he would miss school!

Yes, he would.|But he's not sick...

and he's not spending the day|with his pill-popping...

alcoholic...

beaver-banging|excuse for a father.

Years ago you didn't say that|about me.

-You were an easy-going spirit...|-Put it in a book.

What am l saying?

You already did.

"Epstein had married|his third shrink.

He'd confessed his|feelings for her often.

She seemed to put it down|to transference

But one day she surprised him."

l think it best...

that we terminate your|treatment.

And then, l think we should...

give it a substantial|period oftime.

Then, if we both feel|the same way...

l think we can begin|to see each other again...

socially.

"lt was, to Epstein thinking...

a match made in Heaven.

Here, at last, was a woman who|understood him."

You know all my secrets,

every nuance of my psychic life.

l've admitted every feeling|and desire in therapy.

Now it's your turn|to explore me.

Yeah, but you accept|all my perversions.

Being tied up, watching you|with other women.

Feeling your spike heels|in my mouth.

Non one can say l didn't know...

what l was letting myself in for.

The first two years|were amazing.

They moved to a West|Side apartment.

He wrote.|She saw patients.

But her best insights|were into his work.

What one comes away with|is your total isolation.

Your fear of people,|your panic over closeness.

And that's why your real life|is so chaotic...

and your writing|is so much more...

controlled and stable.|You're unable to..

lt all went quite well...

until Helen became pregnant|and gave birth.

From then on, as if she'd|had a divine revelation...

She became what Epstein|referred to angrily...

as "Jewish with a vengeance."

l rue the day|l listened to you...

and l didn't have him|circumcised.

Are you nuts?

We can still do it.

No!

He's too old.

-Sure. Now he's too old.|-What is wrong with you?

You're like a born-again Christian|except you're aJew.

l see my father's face in Hillel.

Hilliard. His name is Hilliard.

We didn't name him Hillel.|Not after some rabbi.

Hilliard Epstein.

l'm sick of smug cynicism.|There's value in tradition.

l thought it meant nothing,|but nowthat l'm a mother, it does.

l see not only meaning|in Judaism, but true beauty.

You're a scientist!

Einstein was a scientist!

And he was a Jew!|And he was religious!

"Helen had taken on|the obligation of daily prayers.

Jews, of course, fearing|a wrathful and vengefulgod...

give praise and thanks|for everything."

Baruch atah adonai elohenu melech|ha-olam...

borei pree hagofen.

Hamotzi lechem...

min ha-oretz.

Vitzi-vonu l'hadlik nair|shel shabat.

Boreh pree ha...blowj*b.

And one day the inevitable|happened.

A patient of Helen's,|an lsraeli...

who had come to her, depressed|that his wife had left him...

captured Helen's heart."

l think it best...

that we terminate your|treatment,...

give it a substantial time.

Then, if we feel the same way...

start to see each other...

socially.

Lost in thought, l think.

l was just, l was thinking|about a book l wrote.

-Well, l'm a mess.|-What's the matter?

l'm going to the doctor.|l have pains in my chest.

lt's nothing.

lt's indigestion or gallbladder|or acid reflux...

l've got a family history.|My dad died of heart attack...

my mother died|of a massive coronary.

Both brothers died before they|were 50 from heart failure.

Why waste time talking?|Get an ambulance.

Are you busy?

l was going to see my editor.

l just hate going alone.

My mother died|giving birth to me.

For which my father|never forgave me.

lt's funny. l wish before he died,|l had forgiven him.

But we're morbid. You think|you're dying but you're not.

Today they got lasers,|all kinds of...

Yeah, you and science, right?

Nothing wrong with science.

Between air-conditioning and the|Pope, l'll take air-conditioning.

l'm scared.|l'm really scared.

Can l change the subject?|You know l have writer's block?

l know.

l have awriter's block.

First time in my life...

l can't come up with an idea,|something to hold my interest.

Since Fay left you you've been|having trouble.

l'm seeing Fay later|for a drink.

l think is very good.

She's good for you.|She's a lot better than...

a lot of those other|crazies that...

My God! My arm!

l'm telling you it's nothing.|Nothing.

l'm not scared.

-You're in great shape.|-Really?

You just have a little|bursitis in your arm.

That's fantastic!|My God, thank you!

The loveliest words|to hear are not, "l love you"...

but "lt's benign."

We could do more tests,|but l don't think so.

Your heart's in great shape.

l hurt my back some weeks a go|opening a sub-zero refrigerator.

-Let me buy a cup of coffee.|-Let me schedule you.

-No. l don't have time.|-Let me schedule you.

What are you doing tomorrow?

l'm busy. Why?

l'm going to my old school.|The honoring me.

l'd like someone|to come with me.

l can't get out of this thing...

but that's great.

Congratulations.

-You look great.|-Thank you.

You look a little tired.

l'm struggling with this book.

Naturally, l spent the advance...

and l'm having atough...

a tough time.

l wanted to have|this drink because...

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