Decoys 2: Alien Seduction Page #5

Thanks.

I'm afraid you're not leaving me

a lot of choice, Luke.

She's not a doctor. You all think

she's a doctor, but she's not.

Take off your jacket and roll up your sleeve.

Look, you have to believe me. Ask him!

You know what I'm talking about.

They took one of his friends.

Look. Please.

I don't want any more medication.

Luke, you need to trust me.

Now, please, your jacket.

They're smarter this time, you know.

They're hiding the bodies.

No body, no crime, right?

- You need to rest.

- Rest? No.

We need to stop them.

We gotta find the bodies.

Then people are gonna know.

- Whoa.

- Then...

Calm down. Come on.

Don't trust anyone, man.

It's the ones that you trust...

Party computer's going on location, so

we can update the leader board in real time.

So, Sam, this TA of yours

really thinks alien chicks are

freezing guys they have sex with?

That's only part of it.

That's why they're sticking him

in the funny farm.

You know, if women are aliens,

that would explain a lot of things.

You know, the party doesn't start

for another 20 minutes.

It's never too early to rack up a

quick point. Gotta protect my lead.

But you won't be in the lead

after tonight, man.

Big words, bro, but this

game isn't about words.

It's about numbers. Adios.

Now, if you had a bunch of frozen guys

you didn't want anyone to find,

where would you stash them?

The orderlies tell me

you've been quite the troublemaker.

- Luke, this is for your own good.

- You have to let me out of here.

Please.

If I do, Dr. Snowdon will press charges

for assault.

She isn't a doctor!

- Luke, I need some cooperation here.

- You don't believe a word that I say.

Why should I cooperate with you? Why?

Have it your way.

What are you doing here?

Look. I'm sorry I didn't believe you.

I mean, there are blonde aliens on campus.

And I need your help.

- Gotta play catch-up tonight.

- Good luck.

Hey. No.

Okay. I got an idea.

- Oh, no.

- Oh, yes.

Come on!

- You okay?

- Yeah.

It's all those meds they gave me

in the Psych Ward. I'm fine.

Oh, hey! Look.

If you look them in the eyes,

they can read your mind.

- They know what you're thinking.

- That's not possible.

No. They can hypnotize you.

So never look them in the eyes.

- Okay. I won't.

- You got it?

- Yeah.

- Okay. Good. Let's go.

Okay. For spotting them,

this is the most important thing.

- Decoys don't have bellybuttons.

- What?

What do you mean they

don't have bellybuttons?

It's the only sure way to tell

them apart from real women.

No bellybuttons. Okay. I got it.

Hey, there.

That's the biggest screen

I've ever seen on a laptop.

Is it true what they say

about guys with big screens?

Huh? What do they say?

They say guys with big screens

have big keyboards.

- Way too hot in here.

- Yeah.

I could hardly breathe. This is better.

- You like the cold?

- I love it.

Do you

want

to...

Now you're gonna turn into my

fantasy and freeze me to death?

No! No!

Hey! You're a freak!

- So, baby, you nice and drunk?

- Yeah, absolutely.

Good. Well, you still better

be able to perform.

My dear, I will be the Hillary to your Everest.

Sounds good.

It's always the ones closest to you.

Check the bellybutton.

Hi!

Hi.

I was looking for you.

Where have you been?

I...

- You did something to your hair.

- Yeah.

- You like it?

- Yeah. I like it.

- But what did you do to it?

- I colored it, silly.

I got tired of mouse brown.

- You really like it?

- Yeah, I like it.

You want to dance?

You know something?

I have always wanted to dance with you,

but I thought you didn't like me.

It is way too hot in here. Come on.

I need to cool off.

That's better.

It was way too stuffy in there.

Don't you think?

Would you dance with me?

- Is she gone?

- Who?

What are you talking about? Come here.

Samster just left with Stephanie.

I think he's about to score.

Yeah. All right.

There goes Nick.

Oh, my God!

Nick's hooking it with another chick.

This guy is amazing.

I've wanted to do that for the longest time.

What in the hell is that?

- Let me see something.

- Oh. Only if you show me something first.

What're you looking for? These?

No. I want... I want to see your stomach!

You've got one!

- Got what?

- A bellybutton.

- We thought you were one of them.

- One of who? Who?

An alien. A Decoy, I mean...

- They don't have bellybuttons.

- What?

- I thought you wanted me, but you're sick!

- Steph, wait!

- Let me go!

- Steph...

Sam! You gotta come see this!

Now! She's doing it to Nick!

- You are so disgusting!

- No, Steph...

- All of you!

- Steph...

No! She's turned into some monster,

with tentacles and stuff!

That's her. The girl who went with Arnold

the night he disappeared.

Oh, my God. So they're real.

Damn! The temperature's dropping.

- We have to find them before she...

- Yeah, come on.

Go.

Come on!

Guys, don't let her get away.

Damn it!

- Where's she going?

- Probably to the hospital.

- We should call the cops.

- Right. Real smart, Peter.

First they arrest us,

then they throw us in padded cells.

No, we gotta hunt them down ourselves

and then destroy 'em.

- No, that's a little extreme.

- No.

What she was doing to Nick,

that was extreme.

Yeah.

- Nick.

- Nick!

- Nick, are you all right?

- Huh?

Stephanie, you do something to your hair?

- Yeah, you like it?

- Yeah, yeah, he loves it.

Nick, listen to me. Are you okay?

- Not bad.

- Dude, what she did to you, that was sick.

What'd it feel like?

Not too bad. Actually it's kind of enjoyable.

We've gotta get all of them.

The problem is they look

exactly like girls. Hot girls.

And it's gonna be really hard

to tell the difference.

It's gonna be hard for you

'cause you're guys.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means that you don't think

with your brains,

you think with your hormones.

I won't be so easily fooled. Come on.

She's one. Hey, you!

Come on.

Look out! Look out! Look out! Excuse me!

This sucks!

They must know the other one's

in trouble. They'll go after her.

- To the hospital?

- Yeah.

They're vulnerable to heat.

Yeah, we need something

that puts out industrial strength heat.

Okay. We're going to need

a bunch of empty beer bottles.

Check.

How fast do you think you can get

yours hands on a few cans of hairspray?

Are you kidding? This is a co-ed dorm.

How many do you need?

- A few dozen.

- Not a problem.

This place is enormous.

If they're hiding,

we won't find them for days.

I have a good idea where they are.

There's one place in there no one

ever goes. The old morgue.

- Let's go.

- Okay.

Where's the morgue?

Don't look at me.

I've never been down here before.

I think we should split up.

- Remember not to look them in the eyes.

- Okay.

And don't forget what happened to Arnold.

- Hey, good luck.

- You, too.

- Hey.

- Yeah?

I want you to know,

if something happens that...

Yeah, me, too.

- Guys...

- Yeah.

- Come on!

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