Defending Your Life Page #7

Synopsis: Yuppie Daniel Miller is killed in a car accident and goes to Judgment City, a waiting room for the afterlife. During the day, he must prove in a courtroom-style process that he successfully overcame his fears (a hard task, given the pitiful life we are shown); at night, he falls in love with Julia, the only other young person in town. Nights are a time of hedonistic pleasure, since you can (for instance) eat all you want without getting fat.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Fantasy
Director(s): Albert Brooks
Production: Warner Home Video
  5 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.3
Rotten Tomatoes:
97%
PG
Year:
1991
112 min
4,673 Views


...he still walked to the microphone.

He never said anything!

There was a gas leak!

But he never went back

and accomplished it.

He never got up in front

of a large audience again.

Maybe he didn't want to.

Mr. Miller accepted that engagement

with a great deal of excitement.

He wanted to be there.

If he had accomplished that moment...

...l'm positive his life would have gone

in a much better direction.

You're positive! She's wonderful!

"His life would have gone in a much

better direction."

Just incredible!

I'd like to move on to something

I think we'll have a ball watching.

This is damned exciting stuff.

Daniel, where did this scene take place?

What are you showing?

I'm sorry. We're going down to 31-1-9.

The snowmobile.

Big Bear.

Big Bear.

Watch this, Your Honors.

Just dynamite.

"Where the buffalo roam

"And the skies are all cloudy all--"

Oh, my God!

How far did you have to go for help?

About three miles.

You broke your leg in two places?

-Yes, I did.

-I'm proud of you.

With no help, by himself, with as badly

a broken leg as I've ever seen...

...this man crawled three miles to get help.

You're kidding.

What have we just watched?

That is self-preservation.

He didn't risk his life, he saved his life.

You're not a hero if you save your own life?

A hero? No, you're not.

No one here is accusing Mr. Miller

of not having a survival instinct.

We're here to see if he can overcome fear,

not pain.

You don't see fear in this?

Fear of what?

How about death for starters?

I hope you realize it would be very hard

to be a brilliant public speaker...

...if you're lying dead in the snow.

For the record...

...you never rode a snowmobile again.

Hold on. Not because I was afraid.

Because I hated it.

You must believe me.

This is not about fear. This is hate.

This is a rotten contraption.

It heats up like a toaster oven.

I burned the hair off my thigh

from my knee to my crotch!

Singed it right off. I don't know...

...if the seat was leather or lined with fur...

...but years of rotting,

drying out and getting wet...

Mine smelled like an old sheepdog.

Also, it's very, very noisy.

You don't find that out until the

second hour when you can't hear anyone.

You get off and your friends

are in a silent movie.

Pardon me, but your balls vibrate

for three weeks afterwards.

I'm very proud of you. Very good day.

Very emotional day.

-What are you doing tonight?

-I'm seeing this woman.

-Julia?

-How'd you know her name?

Still don't get the big brain bit?

I'll see you tomorrow.

You did very well. See you.

Here it comes again.

Look at her go!

Going back for the cat is wonderful.

What kind of cat was it?

Persian.

I love Persian.

Sorry, but I just had to see it again.

That's all right. It was spectacular.

That's all for now. We'll meet once more.

For enjoyment's sake.

Let's make it at 1:00.

Daniel, nice to see you. How are you?

You have a good time tonight.

I'll see you tomorrow at 1:00.

Sam told me

about an amazing ltalian restaurant.

Exciting. It was like watching

a Mutual of Omaha commercial.

You're jealous.

You'll never know how much.

-Those portions are gigantic!

-I'm so hungry.

The residents love this place.

It has the best resident food in the area.

Good clumps?

Enjoy your meal.

What was your favorite food?

Turkey with stuffing.

-I couldn't eat turkey.

-Why not?

When I was a kid,

I had one as a pet and I named it.

You can't eat something you name.

I wish I'd known that.

I would have named ice cream.

Do you eat meat?

Sometimes. How about you?

-I like fish.

-Me, too. What kind?

Salmon.

And I like the kind that live

near the nuclear reactors.

-I forget their name.

-Glow fish?

They light up your house

when you cook them.

-How was your screening?

-Very, very good.

Some fine wine for yourselves?

-What's your name?

-Eduardo.

-How are you, sir?

-I'm fine.

You're going to eat a lot with us tonight?

What do you recommend?

You like pasta?

I'll bring you three pounds of it.

Best you've ever tasted.

You'll love it. What about you,

my friend? Do you like shrimp?

They're so fresh, they'll crawl up

onto the plate themselves.

Aren't they high in cholesterol?

I don't know what you're talking about,

but don't worry.

I'll be right back.

Is there a Jacuzzi in your room?

In yours?

Not in my room.

It's in the bathroom.

It may not even be a Jacuzzi.

I think it's just holes in the tub.

You don't have to protect my feelings.

If you have a Jacuzzi, I'm happy.

Okay, I do. I use it every night.

It's just wonderful.

I'm happy for you.

-I love it.

-A lot of bubbles?

Here we are. You're going to love this.

And you will love this.

There's 30 shrimp...

...and 30 more where that came from.

This looks delicious.

Broccoli?

With lots of cheese?

That's my girl. What about you?

Maybe just a touch.

You got it.

That's fine.

How many days you looking at?

Nine.

You like pie?

I love pie.

I like you.

I'll bring you nine pies to take with you.

A pie for every day.

I don't want any pies.

It's my pleasure. They'll keep.

Don't. Really.

Don't bring me anything.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

It's unbelievable.

My prosecutor just sat down.

Look. Don't look!

I can't eat here.

What? You're just eating dinner.

I'm eating 30 shrimp. I'm a pig.

Everyone eats like that here.

Yes, but everyone doesn't have

her watching.

She'll have a tiny resident portion

and I'm eating a fishing boat.

Let's leave.

You're silly. You're just eating.

You're right.

When will that end?

We're having fun. That's important.

See? This woman's looking at that.

This is causing me trouble.

Don't look! Back.

Okay. Suck that up.

It's long.

Bite down now, please. Please bite.

Bite.

Done.

She makes me nervous.

I'm going to the ladies' room.

I pray to God when I get back...

...you've changed.

You're Daniel's prosecutor.

I want you to know he's wonderful.

You are?

Julia.

Pretty name.

-Nice to meet you.

-What did I say?

So you don't forget, I bring these.

You've got nine pies in here.

-Will that be enough for you?

-I didn't want these.

You told me to make them.

I did not.

-You said that.

-No.

Yes, you did.

I have no place for these boxes.

You're embarrassing me.

You're shy.

I'll bring you some steaks.

No steaks!

Did Sam say what would happen to you?

He said I wouldn't come back

to the hotel after tomorrow.

That's all I know.

I must tell you something.

-I know you think I've got it together.

-You do.

No, not quite.

But one thing I do know how to do

is make things work.

I can take a situation

and just make it okay.

I've always been able to do that.

But it's work.

And this...

...this isn't.

I don't know what this is...

...but it's--

Effortless.

I've never, ever had that before.

Tell me about it.

I didn't think it would happen to me.

Where do we find it? ln the pit stop.

Thanks, God.

-Better this than nothing.

-I guess.

Rate this script:4.8 / 15 votes

Albert Brooks

Albert Lawrence Brooks (born Einstein; July 22, 1947) is an American actor, comedian, writer, and director. He received an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor for 1987's Broadcast News and was widely praised for his performance in the 2011 film Drive. His voice acting credits include Marlin in Finding Nemo (2003) and Finding Dory (2016), and recurring guest voices for The Simpsons, including Russ Cargill in The Simpsons Movie (2007). He has directed, written, and starred in several comedy films, such as Modern Romance (1981), Lost in America (1985), and Defending Your Life (1991). He is also the author of 2030: The Real Story of What Happens to America (2011). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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