Defendor Page #5

flesh out the story.

No. I've already

done enough. Sorry.

No, Mr. Carter, listen.

This could really help

sway public opinion

in Arthur's favor.

Damn idiot!

I'm sorry,

is it lunch, guys?

Let's go.

Get to work.

The question is, this guy, this lunatic,

is he good for the Hammer?

You know what I say?

If we're gonna live in a frontier town,

maybe it's time for a desperado

who's a little out there.

All right. The switchboard's lighting up,

so let's go to the phones.

First caller, you're on the air.

I love this guy.

Finally someone is

stepping up and

actually doing something.

Okay. So you're with me.

You like the guy. Next caller.

Defendor, yea or nay?

Yea. Totally.

He's got to be a little bit stupid

to do what he's doing,

you know what I'm saying?

But I love him,

I absolutely love him.

All right, Arthur.

Anything else you'd like to add?

Anything else you think

I should put in my report?

No.

Thank you for being honest

and forthright with me.

You're welcome.

Okay.

Doctor? When I put Kat's

dad into the garbage.

Was that wrong?

There are probably better ways

to deal with people like that.

So it was wrong?

I'm not sure, Arthur.

FAS, ADD, depression,

delusional megalomania,

unable to anticipate consequences,

serious lack of common sense,

socially immature.

Sounds like me.

I can't put him on the street, Ellen.

What?

Judge, Arthur has been ostracized

his entire life.

This... This persona,

this Defendor character,

is a way

of escaping that.

He can be a perfectly

functioning member of society.

He needs guidance.

An 18-month sting completely scuttled.

Captain's whole

investigation lost.

Find a way, Judge.

He won't survive inside.

Find a way to keep him out of jail.

Arthur, would you take a seat, please?

Now, Arthur, this judgment

has been accepted

by all parties and Mr. Carter,

who has very thoughtfully agreed

to be your guarantor and custodian.

And from this day forth, you will

live with Mr. Carter and his family.

More importantly,

you are to cease and desist

all acts of vigilantism.

And you are forbidden

to don the guise

of the Defendor, his likeness...

No! No!

No!

Arthur, come on.

Come on.

No, no, no!

Mr. Carter, I have serious

reservations about this!

Your Honor, please,

just give me a second with him.

Arthur? Listen to me.

Where do I get one of those

shock machines?

Arthur, it's over.

Defendor's over.

You can't be Defendor any more.

But I didn't do anything.

Some guys got hurt.

People, they think it's your fault.

If you don't come home with me,

you're going to go to prison.

You want that?

Come home with me.

Okay? Just come home.

Up against the wall.

I said up against the f***ing wall!

Don't make me tell you again!

Empty your pockets!

Everything out of

your pockets. Come on.

What have you

got here, honey?

Nothing!

Come on.

All right, go, go. Go!

Watch, don't step on the sh*t!

Dooney!

Well, well.

So where have you been?

Nowhere.

I want to come back.

Now why should I take you back?

After what your friend did to me.

He's not my friend.

I never even met the guy.

He's not your friend?

You read the papers, don't you?

Not your friend. He stuffed

your daddy in a garbage can.

Where is he?

How much does he know?

I don't know.

I still don't know.

Get in.

Just like old times.

We could always take him out.

No. No. Let's not paint a big,

flashing neon bull's-eye on us.

We have to be on

our best behavior.

Then, when the

container comes in,

then we will swat the fly

and he will be dead.

What if he talks?

Heads up, superhero.

A little present for you.

You don't say anything any more, Arthur.

Is that because you're sad?

Are you sad because

you're living here now?

Is it because you can't be a

Defendor any more?

Are you ever going

to speak again?

Jack, honey, come on in

and get ready for bed.

Well, if you change your mind,

you can at least talk to me, okay?

It's raining out, Arthur.

Why don't you come in and get dry?

It's a poncho.

I want you to sleep indoors tonight.

And I'm not asking you, Arthur.

I'm telling you.

Do you remember when

you saved Jack's life?

I'll never forget

what you did that day.

You were just a regular guy

doing something remarkable.

You don't need a costume.

Ordinary people, they do

extraordinary things all the time.

You're always going to be that hero,

Arthur, just by being yourself.

Keep back, Jose,

or I'll kick your ass!

What's my name? Glad you asked.

Defendor, greaseball.

Defendor.

No.

I'm Defendor.

It's just for a few more days,

and then you'll be back to work.

And it'll be business as usual, okay?

Joy. I can't wait.

You hungry?

No?

Not hungry?

I'll just put it up here.

All right.

Let's make love then.

Okay. Untie me.

I kind of... I kind of like you

being tied up like a little pig.

It pays to be nice sometimes.

Can I just fix my hair, please?

Make myself pretty.

Okay, I like that.

Why not?

Okay. You're a pretty pig.

See?

Nothing wrong with a little romance.

Oink, oink, motherf***er.

Arthur! My God!

I was coming to rescue you.

I shot him, Arthur!

I shot Dooney in the balls!

Good girl.

How did you know?

"Container in 3 weeks."

That's what he said.

Half-moon, then no moon, plus one

more half-moon, then full moon.

Full moon equals 3 weeks.

What the f*** are you...

What are you doing?

I'm going to capture

Captain Industry.

Arthur, excuse me.

They have guns.

Guns don't hurt me.

Really? So... So,

what, I could just

shoot you right now

and nothing happens?

I lied, Arthur.

Radovan Kristic is

not Captain Industry.

Not even close.

I just said that because

I thought you had

a snowball's chance

in hell of doing

anything about it.

Because I wanted

revenge, like you.

It was convenient for

both of us. That's it.

It's time for justice.

I just shot that fagot cop, Arthur!

You don't think I can do it?

Bullets don't hurt me.

Go ahead.

Squeeze the trigger.

They bounce off.

They just bounce off.

Go ahead.

Here. You have 5 shots.

No, I don't like guns...

Arthur, shut up!

Take it! Take it!

I don't like... I'm not letting you

leave unless you take it.

What are you doing, son?

Right now, a shipment

of guns and girls is arriving.

Captain Industry will be there.

And maybe Sergeant Dooney.

Although he got shot in the balls,

so maybe not.

I'm going to get them,

with or without you.

Damn it!

You know what I'm

going to do right now?

I'm going to get you a muffin and

a cup of coffee. Would you like that?

Why don't you just hold your

horses right there?

Hey, can I get a muffin and

a cup of coffee, pronto, please?

Mike, I need you

and your partner

to meet me in the parking

lot 5 minutes ago.

We got to check something out.

All right, and, Mike,

just between us.

Do you follow?

Got it.

Hey, Defendor, I think...

God, what have I done?

En garde, gentlemen.

Release swarm.

Swarm, Dog. Swarm.

F***!

F***! F***!

Incoming!

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