Definitely, Maybe Page #4

Here's a list of Madison graduates

in the New York area.

These people earn 200 grand plus a year.

We have a $10,000-a-plate fundraiser

on Monday with 15 empty tables.

I can't have that, Hayes.

I need you to sell five of them.

Hold on. No more coffee, bagels?

- We'll see how this goes, okay?

- Gareth.

- What?

- Thank you. I'm really happy right now.

- Okay, Hayes.

- Okay.

- There's the desk.

- Look at that. Yeah.

Yeah, that's funny, the toilet paper.

That's good because it's ironic.

Yeah, that's right, everybody. My desk.

Right here, I got a desk, and I got a list.

And I have a phone. And this empty basket.

No, no, no, I really don't agree

that the Governor has a character problem,

Mrs. Perleman.

Did you know that

marijuana use should be legalized?

Hello?

No, no, no, he wasn't a draft dodger.

Besides, did you know that

the majority of Americans believe

that the Vietnam War

was just a terrible idea?

Both legs.

Wow, I am sorry. You must miss them.

Yes, I understand your concern,

but I think you should remember

that the Governor comes from

a town called Hope.

And hope is exactly what he stands for, so...

No, no, I know it's corny, but I also think

that sometimes corny is exactly

what this country needs.

That would be wonderful. No, thank you.

Two seats.

Okay, great. Thank you, Mr. Bishop.

Yeah, the dinner's next Thursday.

Yes, when I spoke with Hillary this morning

she said that she wanted to get to know

our most important supporters.

No, I think you'd definitely

enjoy meeting her.

Yeah.

An entire table? No, that is very possible.

I'll put you down for one table, then.

That sounds great.

Okay, I look forward

to seeing you next Thursday.

Okay, thank you.

I just sold an entire table for $50,000.

That's my guy, Will. My guy.

Toilet paper guy! Toilet paper guy!

Good evening, gentlemen.

Pack of Reds, please.

Christ.

Tell us the truth, my friend.

- Did that Clinton inhale or not?

- What does it matter?

That's like if your girlfriend catches you

in bed with another woman, then you say,

"But we didn't do it."

- What, is that gonna matter to her?

- Yeah, it does. Hi.

- Hello.

- Pack of American Eagles, blue, please.

for a pack of cigarettes?

They don't put as many chemicals in them.

- So those are healthy cigarettes.

- Something like that.

So if there's not as many chemicals in them,

they should cost less, not more,

don't you think?

They put saltpeter in your cigarettes,

which make them burn faster,

which make you smoke more.

Which means, at the end of the day,

your cigarettes actually cost more, not less.

Copy girl,

what I think you're actually paying for

is the picture of the eagle

and the pretty pastel colors.

Some reassuring idea about your lifestyle.

The rest is pretty much crap.

- You wanna bet?

- Sure.

- 20 bucks.

- I got 20 bucks.

Easiest 20 bucks I ever made.

- Really?

- Yeah.

That's funny.

In a minute, I'll have 40.

Okay, we have to inhale at the same time

for the same amount of time.

- Yep.

- Ready, steady, go.

- It's my birthday today.

- Happy birthday.

Why aren't you out celebrating?

My boyfriend, Lucas, was taking me out

for dinner and then to a party.

But at last minute, he gets a gig in Philly,

which, of course, he takes 'cause...

Truth is he's far more interested in being

the next Kurt Cobain

than being my boyfriend.

Who's Kurt Cobain?

You're kidding me!

What?

Smoke.

Oh.

- Look at that.

- Look at that.

- All right.

- No, come on.

The satisfaction of me being right

and you being wrong

is more than enough for me.

Well, I never welsh on a bet,

so I'll tell you what.

I'll take you out for dinner,

for a birthday dinner.

- What do you say?

- Like a date?

No, I didn't mean it like that.

Like an "I feel sorry for you

"because it's your birthday

and you have no plans" dinner.

- You know, one of those.

- Well, I'll tell you what.

You can take me to this party

I have to go to,

because there's no way

I can face going alone.

Yeah, I'm gonna go head over...

Whoa.

I think I'm a little out of my league here.

Yes, you are.

So Emily is what, like,

your college sweetheart?

- It's amazing how you do that.

- What?

The way you take the simplest statement,

and then you twist it with

a completely negative connotation.

- It's really, actually, impressive. I'm amazed.

- I didn't mean to do that.

- But I understand. I get it.

- I actually think it's very sweet.

- See, you did it again.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- I don't even know I'm doing it.

It's probably hard for you to imagine

a relationship based on mutual respect

without even the slightest hint of

whatever you call it, masochism.

Well, if your deal with Emily

is so gosh darn wonderful,

then why don't you just marry her?

What's stopping you?

Nothing.

- Wow.

- Wow.

She gets it tomorrow. I made a reservation

at some fancy French restaurant

on the Upper East Side.

Oh, my God. You're doing it

in front of a room full of strangers?

- Yeah, I am. What's wrong with that?

- No, nothing. I think it shows confidence.

What are you gonna say?

- I'm still working on it. I don't know.

- Oh, you should work on it with me.

You should practice with me.

I'm really good at that. I will be Emily.

I'm Emily, your college sweetheart.

Is there something you wanted to ask me?

- Emily...

- Wait! You've got to get down on your knee.

No, I'm not getting down on my knee.

She'll like it.

She'll like seeing you down on your knee.

- I'm not getting down on my knee.

- Such a mistake. Okay.

- Emily.

- Yes, William.

Don't make me laugh. Emily,

will you,

um,

marry me?

- No.

- Oh, my God.

Well, what do you mean,

"Will you, um, marry me?"

I haven't seen you in weeks!

You don't look happy or excited

about the prospect of our marriage!

You're asking me to give up my freedom,

my joie de vivre

for an institution that fails

as often as it succeeds?

And why should I marry you, anyway?

I mean, why do you wanna marry me?

Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill

an ideal that society embeds in us

from an early age to promote

a consumer capitalist agenda?

Oh!

Oh, my God!

- You should've got on your knee!

- Just shut up!

Here.

I wanna marry you

because you're the first person

that I want to look at

when I wake up in the morning

and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight.

Because the first time

that I saw these hands,

I couldn't imagine

not being able to hold them.

But mainly, when you love someone

as much as I love you

getting married is the only thing left to do.

So will you...

Um...

marry me?

Definitely. Maybe.

I have to think about it.

Walk me home?

- Do you want a cup of tea?

- Yeah. I'd love one.

Hey.

How come you have so many copies

of Jane Eyre?

- It's a long story.

- Really?

It seems to be about 300 pages or so.

Seriously, why?

For my 13th birthday,

I wanted a pair of gold stud earrings,

and instead my dad bought me

a hardcover copy of Jane Eyre.

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