Delirious Page #5

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me, you and some homeless fag

I got living with me."

Look Les, I told you I'm not gay.

Well, there's something

wrong with you. Okay?

What are you doing right now?

What? I'm just telling it

like it is.

You want me to leave?

'Cause I'll just leave.

I'm used to it.

You're the one

who's talking about leaving.

I just said

I wanted to go for a walk!

Then go for a f***in' walk

then! Jesus Christ!

Like I'm some f***in' peon

all of a sudden!?

You've been dying to leave anyway.

You think I can't tell?!

- Go. Go for the f***in' walk.

- Les.

Man, you must really miss

living in a box.

You're just pissed off

at your dad

- and you're taking it out on me!

- Whoa, watch out, Oprah.

Here comes Dr. Homeless.

Hey, I know about

some things. Okay?

I went through some pretty

crazy sh*t with my f***in' parents.

My mother cut me, man.

She came at me with a steak knife.

How do you think I got this?

I went f***in' crazy.

Jesus. I knew it.

You killed her.

Les, I didn't f***in' kill

my mother. I love my mother.

I just can't be around her.

She can't be around me.

I kept looking for something

that I'm not going to get,

that she can't give me.

You're not going to get it, Les.

It's a dead-end street.

You sit around waiting for someone

else to tell you you're okay.

I mean, you're okay.

You don't need it, Les.

You took a really good picture, Les,

no matter what your old man says.

- He threw it in the garbage.

- Yeah, but so what?

You got things going on, right?

I mean, we got to bring

your book around.

We're going to go to,

what'd you say?

Nike, Calvin Klein.

I never said Calvin Klein.

Think big, get big.

Right?

I'm sorry, Toby.

I didn't mean to go off on you.

Whatever.

Rule number one...

friends is friends.

That's good, man.

- You like that one?

- Yeah.

That's a good one.

You're learning.

Why don't you go take your walk?

Go ahead.

No, I think I'll just watch

some TV. Go to sleep.

Hey. I know what we can do.

What?

Headshots!

Hey, take it easy! All Access.

All Access. Him too.

Show him the thing. Turn it around.

See that. Thank you.

Jesus Christ. There's nothing

but B-list in here.

Alright, I got to go find Trudy.

Stay right here.

Keep an eye out

for those goody bags.

Goody bags.

It's so tempting

when I feel so empty

and I'm sitting here all alone.

But I will fight it

until I can find

a sweet love of my own.

You take your love and shove it.

You can stick it

where the sun don't shine.

You take your love and shove it.

You better listen, boy,

'cause I ain't lying,'

lying, lying,

anymore.

You see I'm still looking

for my true love,

a boy, that won't fade away.

I'm still looking

for my true love

so I won't have to say

you take your love and shove it.

Demo from NTV.

How you doing girl?

Wait. Hold on. Hold up.

You are looking hot.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

So you got to tell me

some stuff here.

You got a lot going on these days.

You got the world premiere video.

Your parents are suing you, I heard.

I am super, super busy.

Plus, Mystique and Jace

are hitting it up pretty hard.

- Is this like a mega-bummer for you?

- I am really, really happy for him.

And I'm trying to stay strong

and I thank God for my music

which will always be my first love.

And who's the little studmuffin

you got here next to you?

Oh, this...

This is...

I'm Toby.

- Toby. Alright.

- Yeah.

He's my hook-up tonight.

Isn't he hot?

He's straight up slamming, dude.

Okay, bye. Peace up, y'all.

Toby!

What the f***?!

Excuse me.

- I'm All Access.

- You're not. That's a yellow card.

You need a green card

to get in here.

Where do you get a green card?

Try City Hall.

Come on, studmuffin!

Yes of course she's going to be

there. we're going to see you there.

I can't believe

you fixed the jacuzzi.

It was just

a loose wire on the pump.

Stupid hotel. I told them

to fix it like a month ago.

How come you live in a hotel?

Taxes. I write it off.

Plus I never have to make the bed.

I wish I had a camera.

Don't.

I hate it when people

take my picture.

- Sorry.

- It's okay.

You probably wouldn't understand,

being homeless.

The worst are the paparazzi though.

They just don't leave you alone,

even when you're going through

something really painful.

He broke my heart.

- Who? That guy? Jace guy?

- He said that...

He said that my eyes

were too far apart.

What?

That's... People are different.

That's why people are beautiful.

Do you think that I'm beautiful?

Are you kidding me?

I think that you're the most

beautiful girl I've ever seen.

And then all of a sudden

I'm in the Jacuzzi with her.

And I fixed the Jacuzzi

because it was broken.

It was like broken for like weeks

in this nice hotel.

We just kind of hung out there.

We were in our underwear.

We didn't have sex or anything

but we really like...

I don't know. I really connected.

We really connected.

You connected?

In your underwear?

Well, I mean...

I am so totally

f***in' thrilled for you, Toby.

Hey, you know what?

Look what I got you.

I got you a present. Look.

- What's that?

- They're olives.

I figured we could put them in

the trunk with the martini glasses.

You know? You just take

a toothpick, put an olive in,

you put it in a martini glass

and all the sudden you look like

a ritzy guest.

- Like a what?

- Like a guest.

Like a guest? Like a ritzy guest!?

That's what I look like?!

Toothpicks?!

You sneak backstage without me!

You hang out with sexy chicks

and superstars all night

and you come home with toothpicks!?

- Are you, retarded?!

- No.

No, you're just

an ungrateful bastard!

I'm grateful!

Man, come on. I gave you a job.

I gave you a place to sleep!

Les man, I'm grateful.

You know what hurts the most?

What did I say about De Niro?

- You said...

- I said I would take you with me.

Didn't I say that?

I would take you with me!

Yeah.

And what do you do? The first chance

you get you f***in' leave me.

- Like I'm a peon!

- Les, I'm sorry.

- What the f***?! No!

- I'm f***in' sorry.

No! You can't apologize

for this, man.

Look, I got caught up.

You got caught up. That's bullshit,

man! That's bullshit! Forget it!

- Just get out! Go! It's over!

- Don't do that.

Look, how can I

make it up to you?

Whatever you want.

Whatever you need, man.

Just tell me, I'll do it.

I want to make it up to you.

What hotel is she at?

What?

What hotel is she staying at?

I don't know. She's staying at

some hotel uptown. I don't remember.

You just spent

the night with this chick

that you're puppy sh*t in love with

and you don't know

the hotel she's at?!

I don't remember.

I guess I am f***in' retarded.

I don't remember.

Wow.

Galantine Photo.

Can I help you?

Let me see.

Who's calling?

Hold on.

You're lucky. It's her!

Les.

Jesus Christ...

Hello?

Hey, homeless.

What'd you do, run out on me?

No, you fell asleep on me.

How're you feeling?

Oh, I don't know yet.

I got your note.

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